It’s happening. Everybody stay calm. Stay f*cking calm. Mindy Kaling (yes, that Mindy Kaling) stopped by Betches virtual HQ to chat with Betches co-founders and Diet Starts Tomorrow podcast hosts Sami Sage and Aleen Dreksler. She really needs no introduction, but in case you live under a rock, Kaling is an award-winning actress, writer and producer of The Mindy Project, The Office, and more. She’s a f*cking icon if you didn’t already know.
Mindy chatted with Sami and Aleen about her secret pregnancy, being a mother of two, why she has more time for herself nowadays, and the new projects she’s focusing on.
In case you, again, live under a rock, on September 3rd Mindy surprised the world by announcing that she had secretly had a baby in quarantine. We can’t even keep a first date that goes moderately well a secret, so we’re impressed. Mindy talks about how easy it actually was to hide a pregnancy during quarantine, which makes sense since we haven’t seen another person from the chest down in months. She then talks about her new project for HBO Max called The Sex Lives of College Girls and how weird it is to have done the entirety of the beginning of this project via Zoom. She then discusses her book of essays, Nothing Like I Imagined, and her anxiety surrounding releasing a book during a pandemic. She explains she feels being unmarried has provided her with opportunity for other projects and how sometimes she feels the need to slow down.
Watch the whole video below and check out the full episode of Diet Starts Tomorrow.
Image: Cubankite / Shutterstock.com
I loved Mindy Kaling from her days on The Office as Kelly Kapoor, so I was BEYOND excited when The Mindy Project first came out in 2012. As I started to watch, I wasn’t disappointed—we were given a strong, hilarious, quirky female lead who had the same appreciation for pop culture and desire for constant attention as I do. I was low-key jealous of her hair, the attention she got from guys, and the fact that she was a badass doctor.
Fast forward to 2020, three years after the series finale in 2017. I’ve got time on my hands, I’m bored out of my mind, and I’ve come to realize that I’m not TikTok famous (and probably won’t ever be). So what do I do? I channel my energy towards re-watching old TV shows that I used to love (yeah… my parents are super proud of how I spend my time…).
One of the shows I re-watched was The Mindy Project, which I picked in hopes of giving my mind a break from serious sh*t like the upcoming election, #FreeBritney, and the fact that Dorinda left RHONY. I wasn’t disappointed, but I did happen to notice a ton of unrealistic storylines, ridiculous plotlines, and general inconsistencies.
Whether you were quick enough to notice these things the first time you watched the show or not, here are some of the things I happened to spot that made me think “WTF?”
1. That Mindy Meets A Cute Guy Everywhere (Literally, Everywhere)
If you’ve seen even a few episodes of the show, you know Mindy meets a potentially dateable guy literally everywhere she goes. She’s met them on an airplane, in her office and office building, at the hospital she delivers babies at, on the street in NYC, through her patients… the list goes on, and on, and on, and on. Oh, not to mention that the majority of these guys are hot, have decent personalities, and have great jobs (I’m talking lawyers, doctors, and writers).
This is a recurring theme and storyline that I find difficult to believe. Especially as a single girl myself who’s fairly social, I know it’s preeeettty difficult to find even one normal guy who’s single and ready to date. And I’m not talking about finding “Mr. Perfect”—I’m legitimately just talking about meeting a guy who looks like he showers and receives a paycheck from some sort of place of work.
So with all that being said, the show romanticizes the ability to find a dateable guy or girl in a way that drives me crazy. Buuuut, in the off chance that Mindy Kaling actually experiences this IRL…@Mindy, please send me some serious tips. Your girl needs all the help she can get.
2. That Mindy Opens A Fertility Clinic Within Episodes
If my business degree and Shark Tank watching have taught me anything (ok, ok… Shark Tank definitely taught me WAY more than college), it’s that it takes time to start a company. Especially one that requires its own brick-and-mortar front in the heart of NYC, like the fertility clinic Mindy opens in season three.
Somehow, in a miraculous amount of time (I’m talking within a few episodes), Mindy finds a location for the clinic, gets together financing, files the necessary permits, re-decorates, hires an employee, rolls out a marketing plan, and is ready for her grand opening. If anyone thinks this is possible, they’re either delusional or they have the same connections as Kris Jenner.
3. How Mindy Found Time For Full Glam And Wardrobe Every Day
As a doctor at one of the top practices in NYC (and a single mom for part of the show), how TF does Mindy find the time every single day to have her hair and makeup done as if she’s Dorit Kemsley? And to dress in outfits that even Reese Witherspoon would be jealous of? Personally, I’m not even commuting to work and I can hardly find time to put on Chapstick and a non-toothpaste-stained sweatshirt before my 10am Zoom meeting.
So even though her hair, makeup, and outfits are #GlamGoals and good enough to get her cast on the RHOBH, IRL it would be humanly impossible to pull those looks off without a full-on glam squad and stylist. And it’s not like everyone else is dressed to the nines too. The majority of the other cast is running around in scrubs…just saying!
4. The Longevity Of Mindy And Danny’s Romantic Relationship(s)
Okay, I get it. Every girl has that one guy in their life that they always go back to, even if he’s a complete piece of sh*t. For Mindy, that guy seems to be Danny.
What makes this recurring plotline so ridiculous is the longevity of their relationship, and the fact that Mindy kept going back to him over and over again. Why is this so crazy and unbelievable? IMO, it’s unrealistic because of how Danny treats Mindy.
I’m referring to Danny criticizing and shaming Mindy on everything from her eating and workout habits, her mothering skills, her appreciation for pop culture and celebrities, and the fact that she was career-driven (shocking, a modern woman!). For someone that hardly seemed to like her lifestyle and personality, why TF did Danny even want to be with her and why TF did Mindy want to be with him?
What makes this crazier is that Mindy dated a sh*t ton of other guys on the show who were so much less of a**holes. Okay, so not all of them were that much better than Danny (i.e. she dated a 40-something-year-old skateboarder she met off the street)…but let’s just say they weren’t as judgmental as Danny.
5. That Danny Tried To Secretly Impregnate Mindy
In season four, Danny tries to impregnate Mindy without her knowledge. Big WTF. Big red flag.
What makes this plotline unbelievable is that they’re both OBGYNs. So from Danny’s standpoint, he should 100% understand the ethical issues with getting someone pregnant without their explicit consent and knowledge…you would think? On top of that, from his work, he should know what kind of stress it can cause a woman to deal with an unplanned pregnancy.
Overall, this just seemed like a bizarre (borderline criminal?) scenario to take place on this show.
6. How Mindy Could Afford Her Rent And Lifestyle
Even Luann de Lesseps would be impressed if she saw Mindy’s apartment, because it’s THAT gorgeous. Seriously, it looks like it could be on Million Dollar Listing.
Nowhere in the show was it discussed how Mindy could afford her lifestyle, pay her medical school bills, AND afford her rent. Did she have some sort of relative that left her a ton of money? Did her parents contribute to the rent? Did she secretly have investments in stocks or property elsewhere? No explanation was given…
What makes it even more unbelievable is that, through the seasons, we learn that she has zero financial skills and insane spending habits.
Remember in season three, when Mindy realizes she’s been inadvertently committing tax fraud and had to hire her ex Cliff to get her out of the mess? That goes to show her lack of awareness for personal finances. Second of all, her outfits and bags look like they’re more expensive than the property tax on Lisa Vanderpump’s Villa Rosa. So how TF is she affording it all? Makes no sense.
7. The Length Of Ben And Mindy’s Marriage
The only explanation I have for the Mindy/Ben plot line is that the show’s writers were HUGE Keeping Up With the Kardashians fans. After all, Mindy and Ben’s nuptials seemed to last about the same length as Kim Kardashian and Chris Humphries’ 72-day marriage.
To refresh your memory: Ben and Mindy got engaged during the last episode of season five. In episode one of season six, we find out they’re having marital issues, and in episode two they decide to get divorced. This left viewers—or at least, me—wondering what the point of building up the engagement plot was, if they weren’t planning on exploring the relationship more in the coming season.
And it wasn’t like Ben was acting like an a**hole and it made sense for Mindy to initiate a divorce. In fact, it was Mindy who wasn’t showing any commitment to the marriage, despite Ben’s efforts. Mindy was standing Ben up on their date nights, and at one point she hadn’t even realized he’d been missing from home for two full days.
So, for the girl who dreamed of being married to the perfect guy (seriously, she started a podcast about wedding cakes), why TF wouldn’t she put more effort into keeping Mr. Perfect once she found him? Too weird for me to believe, and therefore something I’m calling out for being a ridiculous plot.
Don’t get me wrong, I still love the show and Mindy Kaling will always be my personal hero. I’m just saying, if there’s ever a reboot and she needs a writer to will painstakingly catch every single out-of-place detail, give me a call.
Images: GIPHY (7), Hulu
It’s been nearly 15 years since The Office premiered, which means we’ve been blessed with knowing about Mindy Kaling for a long time. Mindy was just 24 when the show started, and she instantly became a fan favorite as Kelly Kapoor, but her time on camera wasn’t even close to the whole story. She was also a writer, director, and producer on the show, continually breaking down barriers on a staff that was mostly white, male, and older than her. But breaking down barriers usually comes with doubters, and in her new profile in Elle, Mindy Kaling opens up about a time when she had to fight for the respect the deserved.
Kaling said that in the early years of The Office, the Television Academy tried to cut her from the list of producers on The Office, saying that there were too many names on the list. This would have ruled Kaling ineligible to win the Emmy award for Outstanding Comedy Series, which is obviously a major career achievement. But unsurprisingly, Mindy was the only producer who got cut! In order to overturn this decision, Mindy says that “they made me, not any of the other producers, fill out a whole form and write an essay about all my contributions as a writer and a producer. I had to get letters from all the other male, white producers saying that I had contributed, when my actual record stood for itself.”
Basically, the Emmys decided that there were too many names on the list, so who did they target? The only woman, the only person of color, and the youngest person. Convenient. Luckily, Mindy’s appeal was enough to persuade the Television Academy to include her, but she shouldn’t have had to do any of this sh*t in the first place.
Of course, this isn’t how the Television Academy sees it, and their statement to the Los Angeles Times in response is so typical. “No one person was singled out. There was an increasing concern years ago regarding the number of performers and writers seeking producer credits. At the time the Producers Guild worked with the Television Academy to correctly vet producer eligibility.” This is a lot of jargon that means nothing, because they’re not actually saying that Mindy didn’t have to do extra paperwork. Just because everyone was vetted in some way doesn’t mean that everyone was treated equally.
And, like me, Mindy Kaling was unimpressed with the statement from the Television Academy. She fired off a series of tweets further explaining herself, pretty much telling the Emmys to take several seats:
Respectfully, the Academy’s statement doesn’t make any sense. I *was* singled out. There were other Office writer-performer-producers who were NOT cut from the list. Just me. The most junior person, and woman of color. Easiest to dismiss. Just sayin’. https://t.co/frT2pQUfLF
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) October 9, 2019
Yeah, the Television Academy can say whatever they want about the vetting process for producers, but it really means nothing if Mindy Kaling knows for a fact that other people in the same situation with The Office were treated differently. To claim that she wasn’t singled out is just false, even if you ignore the racist, sexist, and ageist connotations here. Which of course, you shouldn’t ignore, because the Television Academy probably was racist, sexist, and ageist.
I’ve never wanted to bring up that incident because The Office was one of the greatest creative experiences of my life, and who would want to have an adversarial relationship with the Academy, who has the ongoing power to enhance our careers with awards? (1)
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) October 9, 2019
Mindy followed up the first tweet with a series of three messages, in which she elaborates on the pain that this situation caused, and why she’s waited so long to speak publicly about it. I’m especially glad she brought up the complicated relationships performers have with these academies, because whether they care or not, at the end of the day, awards can have a huge impact on careers. Of course, Mindy would be worried that if she fought back against the Television Academy, she could be blackballed from awards consideration in the future. Awards aren’t everything, but this certainly creates a tough dilemma for performers deciding whether they should speak out in situations like this.
(2) But I worked so hard and it was humiliating. I had written so many episodes, put in so much time in the editing room, just to have the Academy discard it because they couldn’t fathom I was capable of doing it all. Thankfully I was rescued by my friends, the other producers.
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) October 9, 2019
Awards are one thing, but Mindy Kaling is also bringing attention to a more important issue: the constant struggle for women, and especially women of color, to be taken seriously in their careers. In her final tweet, Mindy clarifies that this happened over a decade ago, so “maybe it wouldn’t happen now.”
(3) The point is, we shouldn’t have be bailed out because of the kindness our more powerful white male colleagues. Not mentioning it seemed like glossing over my story. This was like ten years ago. Maybe it wouldn’t happen now. But it happened to me.
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) October 9, 2019
Yes, there’s been progress in the last decade, but honestly, this could definitely still happen in 2019. According to the Center For Study Of Women In Television & Film, in the 2018-2019 TV season, the percentage of producers that were women hit a record-high 31%. Think about that. It’s a RECORD HIGH, and it was still less than a third. Sad, but not surprising.
I’m glad Mindy Kaling is speaking out now, but it’s important to remember that she’s at a point in her career where she’s calling the shots on major projects. For every super famous person like her, there are so many more people of color who have similar stories, but don’t feel like they have the platform or the power or the job security to share it. We’re definitely making progress, but there’s still a long way to go.
Images: mindykaling (4) / Twitter
In this world of Photoshop, Facetune, scary stilt legs, and eyes that take up half of the face, Instagram is a scary place to be. We thought it was bad when women were all expected to be a size zero, but now, you’re not even allowed to have essential organs to be beautiful. Celebrities and influencers get to take the guilt for the ridiculous social media standard we’ve come to—they determine what we look up to and should look like. They suck at their huge responsibility. However, there are a few celebs that I follow that consistently show they are real people, not cyborgs. In fact, I actually had trouble limiting this list down, which was a nice surprise.
This is not to say the celebs on this list don’t edit their photos—I’m sure they do. But they at least do it in a more normal way—and not by removing huge chunks of their body or airbrushing their nose into oblivion. If following these accounts doesn’t make you feel better, I highly recommend doing what I do: mostly follow puppies and art. It’s way better.
1. Kristen Bell
Is there anyone more adorable and pure than Kristen Bell? She’s had a stellar reputation for all her years in Hollywood, and that is saying a lot. Her Instagram is very much that of a real person and working mom. She often posts herself without glam or makeup, photos of her kids and pets, and inspiring quotes or causes she’s involved in. She even puts up parenting mishaps to show it happens to everyone. She always has all her body parts and her eyes are a normal size in every single photo, too.
2. Rachel Bloom
If you don’t know who Rachel Bloom is, she’s the creator of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (RIP), and a genius renaissance women. She can write, sing, act, she’s funny AF, AND she’s a huge advocate for mental health. She also is super real, both on social media and her show. I mean, the show had songs about the nightmare it is for women to get ready (f*ck Spanx) and the inconvenience of having boobs. There was even one about UTIs. She posts about all aspects of her life, like this super real plane selfie. Seriously, why are celebs always leaving planes in full makeup and stilettos? I also once accosted Rachel at Sugarfish in the height of my Crazy Ex-Girlfriend obsession and she was super nice about it. Still so sorry about that, Rachel!
3. Sophie Turner
Sophie is basically the queen of young Hollywood right now, with her hit TV show ending, marrying a Jonas brother, and just being super chic and fabulous. I really like her, though, because she also posts sh*t like this, where she’s sleeping on the Game of Thrones set. She also frequently posts stories and photos without makeup, and funny things going on in her life. She does have a lot of photos in full glam, but that’s what happens when you’re young, rich, famous, and going out all the time. Even still, if she ever edits her photos, it’s never scary levels. Also, not sure why she’d need to.
4. Zoë Kravitz
Zoë Kravitz is another fabulous young Hollywood queen and OMG, she is crazy beautiful. Her Instagram is full of both glammed-up cover photos, and casual, relaxed no-makeup pics in her real life. She never seems to edit her photos. She also posts funny memes, has very normal friends and family pics, and discusses important issues. She’s also obsessed with Reese Witherspoon (but like, who isn’t?). What’s it like to be so perfect, Zoë?
5. Georgia Hardstark
Georgia Hardstark is 1/2 of the hit podcast My Favorite Murder. It’s a true crime podcast, and it’s hilarious, even though it sounds like it shouldn’t be. Both Georgia and her cohost Karen Kilgariff are super real people. They speak openly about mental health, and they don’t bullsh*t. Georgia’s Instagram features mostly pets and murder, two of my favorite things. She also is really cute and never edits her photos. She’s the perfect person to follow to remind you that real people still exist and we don’t all need (or want) to look like Kardashians. Also, I’m currently reading her and Karen’s new book, Stay Sexy And Don’t Get Murdered, and it’s fabulous.
6. Chrissy Teigen
You don’t know how to use social media if you’re not already following Chrissy Teigen. I didn’t even know who she was prior to her absolutely genius Twitter game. I also really enjoy her Instagram, where she posts a ton of no-makeup selfies, her real body (which is super fit and definitely #goals but still has all organs/ribs), and her cute family (including bulldog!). Also, I hate kids so this doesn’t apply much to me, but she posts a ton of relatable parenting stuff about how much they can suck.
7. Mindy Kaling
Mindy Kaling is a household name in terms of body positivity, women coming up, and being real af. I adore her. She’s another super positive role model on social media (and just in life) with her (mostly) unedited content and curvy figure. I say mostly, because she obvs uses filters and small edits, but no crazy body shaping or other extremes. She’s also a fashion icon. Follow her and try to live with “the entitlement of a tall, blond, white man” just as she does.
8. Reese Witherspoon
As previously mentioned, we all are obsessed with Reese. I’ve been obsessed since Legally Blonde, and often aspire to “What, like it’s hard?” energy. She basically hasn’t aged since, but I really appreciate that she posts real photos of her face without airbrushing, her normal proportions, no crazy body mods, and always a chic outfit. She also shades her kids on IG which is very funny. And she started Reese’s Book Club that supports female authors, which you should also follow. Reese is a true gem. She also posts dog pics, which to me is v v important.
9. Selma Blair
View this post on Instagram
I could not place who I reminded myself of. @pitbull !! Damn. I’m sexy. #pitbull #selma
Last but certainly not least, I legit went back and updated this list upon realizing I inadvertently left out a social media icon. Since revealing her MS diagnosis in October 2018, Selma has taken to Instagram to talk about the scary, less-than-glamorous aspects of the disease and regularly discusses her hair loss, insomnia, pain, and other side effects. But also? She manages to have a sense of humor. Like this pic where she compared herself to Pit Bull. And another one where she makes fun of her own contouring skills. In a society where we all act like we have everything together and things are perfect at all times, especially on social media, it’s so refreshing to see Selma being honest about something so difficult.
What other body positive/Instagram positive celebrities do you follow? Let me know in the comments!
Images: Instagram (@kristenanniebell, @racheldoesstuff, @sophiet, @zoeisabellakravitz, @hardstark, @chrissyteigen, @mindykaling, @reesewitherspoon)
The year 2017 will go down in history as the year we’ve all officially given up. It’s happening across the board, from our politicians to my will to keep up a semi-decent physique to TV executives who are sexually harassing women left and right can’t be bothered to think of a fucking new concept for a TV show. 2017 was the year of revivals, not counting the Celebrity Apprentice revival that’s currently taking place in the White House. We got Fuller House, Gilmore Girls, Will and Grace, and now, reports have surfaced that NBC is in talks to bring back The Office. If that news fills you with any sentiment other than dread and white-hot rage, you are wrong. Happy? Wrong. Excited? Wrong. Cautious optimism? WRONG. The Office was perfect, and there is literally zero good reason to bring back a perfect thing, only to inevitably ruin it. I won’t have it.
My anger aside, thinking about The Office again reminded me of one of TV’s betchiest characters, Kelly Kapoor. Kelly took pettiness and attention-grabbing to a whole new level. She’s like, the patron saint of delusional daters and a BSCB who taught us that no matter how insane and borderline abusive you are, there’s still always a chance you’ll end up with your man (who is equally insane and borderline abusive). So to honor Kelly and help distract me from the possibility of the one pure thing in this world being sullied forever, here are some of my favorite moments, lessons, and quotes from the immortal Kelly Kapoor.
1. That Time She Wore White To Phyllis’ Wedding
Kelly is an expert in making everything about herself, and it’s truly an inspiration to betches everywhere. Would I wear white at a wedding? No, probably not. Would I wear off-white to a frenemy’s wedding just to be petty? Still probably no, but it’s fun to imagine.
2. The Time She Taught Us How To React In Every Situation
Me every time I see a dog.
Honestly I think about how kids these days are too young to have been taught by Gwen Stefani how to spell bananas on an almost daily basis.
This is me so much of the time that I’m actually starting to wonder if it’s a bit concerning…
3. When She Showed Us How To Make An Entrance That Is Both Confident And Professional
^That’s on my business card.
4. When She Taught Us The Important Distinction Between Talking Trash, And Talking Smack
I guess they couldn’t say “talking shit” on TV back then? Regardless, the lesson (and the burn) have stood the test of time.
5. When She Showed Us The Only Acceptable Response To Running Into Your Ex.
Tbh my ex recently asked me to dinner to “catch up” and I may just send him back this picture… good idea/bad idea? Leave your vote in the comments. Or not. IDC.
6. When She Made Us All Feel Better About Our Obsessive Knowledge Of Texting Etiquette.
The one good thing to come out of a The Office revival would be to hear Kelly’s thoughts on “lol” vs. “ha” vs. “haha” vs. “hahaha” and anything further than that.
7. And Shared This Universal Truth:
Thank you, Kelly. She was so ahead of her time. Now tell me how you feel about people who leave voicemails.
8. She Taught Us How To Recognize Our Strengths…
…And Our Weaknesses.
9. There Was Also The Time She Perfectly Embodied What It’s Like To Be On A Juice Cleanse.
P.S. This is called the Master Cleanse, and we tried it once. It did not go well.
10. And Finally, When She Taught Us The Ultimate Comeback To Any Attempted Breakup.
In Kelly’s defense, Ryan was a total fuckboy. Would truly love to see what this couple is up to now. Honestly, if they haven’t gotten married and divorced at least three times with an adopted baby named Usher, then any potential reunion would not be worth it. In fact, is it too late to call for a Kelly Kapoor spin-off series? Maybe one where she moves to New York and narrates her life through her fictional sex and lifestyle column in The New York Star? I get that that’s the plot of Sex And The City, but I think it could work.
Whether we ever see Kelly again or not, we all owe her a debt of gratitude. You may not have taught us how to be a good person, but you did teach us how to get lots and lots of attention, and for that we are all forever grateful.
Finally, after weeks of hearing about nothing but Russian collusion and R. Kelly’s crazy sex cult (look it up), some good news: Mindy Kaling is pregnant with her first child! Multiple sources have confirmed to E! News that the actress’s pregnancy is an “unexpected surprise,” a phrase which usually leads to a trip to the clinic for college girls, but is significantly more welcome when you’re a 38-year-old actress with two hit TV shows and a starring role in A Wrinkle In Time. Funny how age (and money) can do that.
As it turns out, having no plan was Kaling’s plan all along. (Same.) She once told Yahoo! Style:
“I think I’ve decided that unlike everything else in my life, I’m going to be fast and loose about kids. I’m not going to actively plan, but if it happens, it would happen.”
Which is a roundabout way of saying, “If I get pregnant at this point I won’t get an abortion.”
While we don’t know, and may never know, who the father is, I think it’s safe to say that Mindy is going to be an amazing mom. Here’s hoping the dad is one of her Office co-stars.
I mean, I wouldn’t put it above Dwight to donate copious amounts of sperm to a bank. (I know Dwight isn’t a real person, but still…)
Being that Mindy is one of the funniest money-makers in comedy, we’re sure the next nine months are going to be full of hilarious pregnancy updates. Maybe the whole experience will inspire her next hit TV show? Picture this: Mindy reprises her role as Kelly Kapoor to star in a fake docuseries about her baby with Ryan, based off her real-life pregnancy experience.
I mean, I’d fucks with it. Congrats Kelly – I mean Mindy! You’re truly one of the best celebs. Here’s hoping you name the baby something normal.
April Fool’s is a real bitch. This year, the internet was set ablaze by a Medium article claiming that Mindy Kaling (who may or may not be dating Senator Cory Booker) had confirmed a three part The Office “Where Are They Now” reunion focusing on Michael Scott, Jim and Pam, and Dwight. While we all desperately wanted this to be true, it turns out that this was just a prank by someone who wanted to exploit our love of early 2000s workplace comedies. First we had to be sad about The Office ending in the first place, then we were breifly happy when the show went to Netlix, only to be sad all over again after we binge watched every episode within a week (9 seasons at 25 episodes each? Fucking bring it) and now some jerkoff is going to get our hopes up just to find out it was all a joke? Really? Damn you, medium.com. Damn you to hell.
Disappointment aside, thinking about The Office again reminded us of one of TV’s betchiest characters, Kelly Kapoor. Kelly took pettiness and attention grabbing to a whole new level. She’s like, the patron saint of delusional daters and a BSCB who taught us that no matter how insane and borderline abusive you are, there’s still always a chance you’ll end up with your man. So to honor Kelly and help to salve the burn from falling for an April Fool’s prank, here are some of our favorite moments/lessons/and quotes from the immortal Kelly Kapoor. If only we could have her back again.
1. That Time She Wore White To Phyllis’ Wedding
2. The Time She Taught Us How To React In Every Situation.
3. When She Showed Us How To Make An Entrance That Is Both Confident And Professional.
4. When She Taught Us The Important Distinction Between Talking Trash, And Talking Smack.
5. When She Showed Us The Only Acceptable Response To Running Into Your Ex.
6. When She Made Us All Feel Better About Our Obsessive Knowledge Of Texting Etiquette.
7. And Shared This Universal Truth:
8. She Taught Us How To Recognize Our Strengths…
…And Our Weaknesses.
9. There Was Also The Time She Perfectly Embodied What It’s Like To Be On A Juice Cleanse.
10. And Finally, When She Taught Us The Ultimate Comeback To Any Attempted Breakup.
In Kelly’s defense, Ryan was a total fuckboy. Would truly love to see what this couple is up to now. Honestly, if they haven’t gotten married and divorced at least three times with an adopted baby named Usher, then any potential reunion would not be worth it. In fact, is it too late to call for a Kelly Kapoor spinoff series? Maybe one where she moves to New York and narrates her life through her fictional sex and lifestyle column in The New York Star? I get that that’s the plot of Sex And The City, but I think it could work.
Whether we ever see Kelly again or not, we all owe her a debt of gratitude. You may not have taught us how to be a good person, but you did teach us how to get lots and lots of attention, and for that we are all forever grateful.
We’ve all made fun of New Jersey for as long as we can remember. The smelly armpit of the tristate area is a notoriously easy target—not to mention it gave us our #1 source of trashy television, Jersey Shore—and that’s why we wouldn’t have thought much of it when Mindy Kaling’s character on The Mindy Project made a standard joke about Newark. Actually, we’re like four seasons behind on The Mindy Project, so we literally wouldn’t have known, but then it blew up on Twitter, as most moderately humorous interactions do these days.
The joke was that Mindy was having a party and New Jersey Senator Cory Booker shows up. Mindy says that he’s probably only at the party because he’s desperate to get out of Newark, which sounds about right tbh. Like, raise your hand if you thought the only thing in Newark was the airport.
So fast forward to last Thursday, when Cory used the joke as an excuse to slide into Mindy’s Twitter mentions. He sent her the link to an article about how awesome Newark is (but is it?) and said that he still loves her even after the NJ shade. She then tweeted back at him about how it was just a joke on the show and that she loves him too.
Ouch! @MindyKaling, heard Dr. Lahiri dissed Newark last night … @VogueMagazine & I disagree ✌: https://t.co/2wP7ZqJKQd (I still ❤️U!) pic.twitter.com/FSwfkxenQJ
— Cory Booker (@CoryBooker) March 23, 2017
Senator, if Mindy Lahiri shades it, it means we know it’s cool. Thanks for the ❤. It’s mutual! https://t.co/KW2ibviREc
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) March 23, 2017
Then the magic happened. Cory replied asking Mindy to have dinner with him in Newark and SHE SAID YES. Despite the fact that our icy heart doesn’t love people getting cute on Twitter—or like, ever—words cannot describe how much we need this to happen. Cory is easily one of the five hottest Senators and Mindy is smart and cute and very very funny. They would make an amazing power couple, and we’re so here for it.
After Mindy made a joke about looking up the train schedule, Cory said that he would send a Lyft to pick her up instead, which means senators must not make that much if he can’t even send her a black car. No word yet on when this magical date will happen, but judging by how much we’ve shaded New Jersey in this article alone, we should be getting our very own date with Cory any second now.
