Wow guys, I truly never thought I’d be saying this, but we need to talk about Teen Mom again. If that sentence is a little jarring for you (same), let’s do a major rewind and catch up on the drama that’s been going on over the last SEVEN months. Of course, we’re talking about Jenelle Evans and David Eason, the tragic couple that clearly just doesn’t know how to get their act together.
As you probably recall, Jenelle and David’s bulls*t became headline news back in May, when David allegedly shot and killed their family dog after it was aggressive toward their children. Jenelle called the cops on David, but then stood by him as he was investigated for the incident. Subsequently, Jenelle and David had their children taken away, and MTV dropped Jenelle from the Teen Mom cast. You know things are out of hand when you’re deemed too messy to be on Teen Mom.
Then, in July, Jenelle completely changed her tune, saying that she lied about David ever shooting their dog in the first place. We were skeptical about this, since it seemed like Jenelle might just be trying to cover for David and get him out of trouble. But the thing is, it’s also a crime to lie to police, so this whole situation was really just a lose-lose.
But if you’re already tired, chug a Red Bull or something, because It’s! Not! Over! In the words of Katy Perry, it’s never really over. No, Jenelle and David are still messy, but this time, they’re not trying to stay together. Yesterday, Jenelle posted on Instagram, saying that she and David have split up.
While I don’t know that much about Jenelle personally, it seems pretty obvious at this point that David Eason is not a good guy. She acknowledges that she’s been on camera for a long time, and that a lot of the stuff on the show hasn’t been pretty. That might be an understatement, but at least she knows it.
She says that she’s “filed papers” to begin the process of ending their marriage, which I assume means filing for divorce. She also says that she and the kids have moved away from David, which really seems like the only logical option here. Time and time again, he’s caused issues that are potentially harmful to his kids, and at this point it’s probably time for Jenelle to cut her losses. We’ve all been in toxic relationships, but this sh*t was next level.
While Jenelle’s Instagram post is all about needing some time with her kids to move forward, a source told TMZ that Jenelle sees this as her opportunity to get back on Teen Mom. She apparently wasn’t financially prepared to be fired from the show on such short notice (not surprising), and now that she’s left David, she’s going to try to convince MTV that he was the one actually causing all the problems, and that her going through her split would bring in big ratings. I don’t know if this strategy will pan out for her, but I have a feeling that MTV is going to care more about the ratings than anything else, so it might not be long before she’s on TV again.
Meanwhile, based on David Eason’s Instagram page, it seems like he might be in denial. Just two days go, he posted this photo of Jenelle with one of their kids, calling it “the most perfect sight I’ve ever seen.” I don’t pretend to understand everything about this family, but Jenelle’s post doesn’t make it sound like they were all hanging out as a happy family two days ago.
David’s Instagram story is currently several photos of knives, sardines, and woodworking, but he hasn’t actually made a comment about his relationship with Jenelle. I definitely have questions, but David clearly isn’t the best at working through his problems in an adult way. Hence the dead dog.
So there you have it, Jenelle Evans and David Eason are no more. I would say that this is the end of the road for them, but knowing these two, there’s going to be a sh*tload more drama coming down the pipeline as they navigate the divorce process. Can’t wait!!
Images: Shutterstock; j_evans1219, easondavid88 / Instagram
Over the past few months, I feel like my job has mainly been writing about drama caused by the gremlins that make up the YouTube community and the cast of Teen Mom. Who knew that these godforsaken people could be so fascinating? Honestly, if these people keep acting up, I’m going to start billing them directly for my time. Today, we’re talking about the ongoing saga that is the life of Jenelle Evans and David Eason. Remember them? Of course you do!
Before Amber Portwood acted up and got arrested for domestic violence last week (read those updates, they’re batsh*t insane), Jenelle was the primary source of drama in the Teen Mom cinematic universe, so let’s do a quick recap. Emphasis on quick, because I have a happy hour to get to, and they don’t pay me enough for this sh*t. Back in May, Jenelle called the cops on David because he shot and killed the family dog after it was aggressive toward their kids. She ultimately decided to stand by David, and a result of their behavior, their kids were taken away and she was subsequently fired from Teen Mom 2. Last week, reports came out that all of the kids except for one had been returned to custody with Jenelle and David, which I really didn’t know how to feel about. Got it? Great!
The new news is that, well, Jenelle might have made up the whole story about David shooting the dog in the first place. I’m sorry, what?? This whole thing stemmed from something that didn’t even happen? *insert Ja Rule tweet about being bamboozled and led astray.* I always assumed that both of these people were trash, but to lie about being trash? That makes you even trashier!!
This week, police reportedly closed the investigation into the case due to lack of evidence, and now they’re saying that David Eason didn’t shoot the dog, as previously reported. When this story first broke, Jenelle spoke to E! News, and told them that David “just took her and shot her in the woods…about two acres away from the house. Thankfully the kids did not see him shoot the dog.”
The police conducted a search of Jenelle Evans and David Eason’s property back on May 13th, and according to the new police report, they “found no blood evidence or any other physical evidence to validate that an animal had been fatally injured there.” After the search, Jenelle was interviewed again by investigators, and she admitted that she hadn’t seen or heard anything related to David shooting the dog, and that she made the story up for publicity.
I F*CKING CAN’T.
Normally, I would be excited to find out that a report of a dog being brutally murdered is fake, but we still don’t actually know what happened to the dog. When Jenelle Evans confessed to making up the story, she reaffirmed that she didn’t know where the dog is. Did the dog run away? Did Jenelle shoot the dog? Did they give it to a shelter? I have so many questions, and I’m rapidly running out of patience for this nightmare of a couple.
Jenelle Evans still hasn’t deleted her Instagram post from May 1, where she eulogizes about her dead dog:
This photo felt pretty f*cked up at the time, considering that she had allegedly already chosen to stand by her husband that shot the dog in the photo, but now I’m just confused. Especially because, at the time, David Eason posted an Instagram that seemed to be explaining why he shot the dog. The video has been deleted, but here’s what the caption was:
“I dont give a damn what animal bites my baby on the face… whether it be your dog or mine, a dog is a dog and I dont put up with that shit at all. I’m all about protecting my family, it is my lifes mission. Some people are worth killing or dying for and my family means that much to me. You can hate me all you want but this isnt the first time the dog bit Ensley aggressively. The only person that can judge weather or not a animal is a danger to MY CHILD is ME.”
Okay so like, ew, but why is he acting like the dog deserved it if he didn’t even do it? What happened to the dog??? It’s all a mystery. What does seem clear is that these two crazies are sticking together, dead dog or not. Three out of their four children are living with them again, so we’ll see how that goes. For now, I’m going to submerge myself in a bathtub full frozen margarita, because tequila is the only way I can deal with these people.
I don’t normally keep up with what’s going on in the Teen Mom Cinematic Universe, but lately things have been pretty intense over there. In the past couple months, Jenelle Evans has been getting most of the headlines with her tragedy of a personal life (more on that later), but now she has to share the spotlight with Teen Mom OG star Amber Portwood. Portwood has faced many legal issues over the years, but this weekend she was arrested for domestic violence, and there’s a lot to unpack.
First of all, before y’all come for me in the comments, I know that Jenelle and Amber are on different shows. Amber has been on Teen Mom (now renamed Teen Mom OG) since 2009, while Jenelle has been on nine seasons of Teen Mom 2. Yes, I am telling you that two different Teen Mom shows are still on the air in 2019. And no, none of these women are teens anymore.
Anyway, let’s get back to Amber Portwood’s current issues. She now lives with her boyfriend Andrew Glennon, whom she met in 2017 on the set of Marriage Boot Camp: Family Edition. Sounds like a lucky place to meet a man, I guess? They had a baby together last May, but it already seems like things might not be going great.
At around 3am the night of July 4th, cops were called to their house because of a domestic disturbance. According to the Indianapolis Police Department, “the male victim stated his live-in-girlfriend and he were having a disagreement. During which time the female, later identified as Amber Portwood assaulted him, while he was holding their one-year-old child.”
Oh god, when will these people learn to get their kids out of the house before getting into physical fights with each other? (I’m kidding—the obvious solution is to use your words, not your hands.) Once the police came, they spoke to Amber and ended up arresting her, and the case will now be handed over to the Department of Child Services. It’s unclear what caused this specific disagreement between Amber and Andrew, but she’s been down this road before.
Amber also has a 10-year-old daughter with a guy named Gary Shirley, and their relationship was just as tumultuous. In 2010, she was arrested for assaulting him, and ended up serving 17 months in jail. You’d really think she would’ve learned her lesson from spending a year and a half in prison, but clearly she’s still got a ton of issues to work through. We’ll see what ends up happening this time, but it’s not looking great for Amber. Hopefully they do whatever is best for her kids, because they don’t deserve to be around this.
As for Jenelle Evans and her husband David Eason, let’s check up on what’s been going on with that whole mess lately. The custody case against them was dropped last week, meaning all of their kids (except for Jace, who is still with his grandma) are back in the house with them. I’m not sure how this is going to go, but good for them I guess. Also, Jenelle is reportedly moving forward with her makeup line, because that’s something the world really needs. Honestly, these people exhaust me.
So, I guess the moral of the story is that I might need to quit my job and watch every single episode of Teen Mom and Teen Mom 2. These people are obviously messy AF, and extremely f*cking dark, which is generally what I look for in a TV addiction. If you never hear from me again, it’s probably because I’m too busy watching Teen Mom, bye!
Images: Shutterstock; realamberlportwood1__ / Instagram; Giphy
It’s been a rough month for Jenelle Evans. As you might recall, a couple weeks ago, we wrote about the drama that began with her husband David Eason shooting their dog, and ended with her children being taken away from her by Child Protective Services. In the mean time, she was also kicked off of Teen Mom 2 because of her decision to stay with David, despite the fact that he’s been abusive to both her and her children in the past.
This week, things got worse for Jenelle Evans (but probably better for her kids), because a judge ruled that she will not regain custody of her three children for the time being. Her son Kaiser will stay with his father Nathan, while her other two children, Jace and Ensley, will live with their grandmother. The ruling came at the end of a four-day hearing, during which Jenelle, David, and Nathan all testified about the tumultuous home environment.
The most upsetting information that came out of the testimony is that 4-year-old Kaiser is terrified of spending time at his mother’s house, mainly because of the unsafe environment that David has created. Case in point: a couple years ago, David Instagrammed a photo of Kaiser with his hand down his diaper, and the caption was an inappropriate reference to his penis. I mean, ew.
Oh, and if you needed another reason to dislike this guy, he regularly posts Confederate flag photos. Cute!
The new custody ruling isn’t permanent, but Jenelle and David have a lot of work to do if they want to have the chance to get the kids back. They’ll be expected to take parenting classes, submit to drug testing, and attend counseling before the decision will be reconsidered. Even then, I have major doubts about whether David should have kids in his home. He has two children from previous relationships, and one of their mothers has a no-contact order against him for domestic violence. For years, he’s exhibited that he’s aggressive and violent around women and children, so this new custody ruling is probably for the best.
As for Jenelle, she’s sticking with David, even if it costs her her children. For now, she’ll be limited to one hour of supervised visiting with her children each week. That’s got to be tough, but she has some major issues to fix before she’s ready to take care of her children again. In the end, what matters is that these kids end up in a healthy, nurturing environment, and Jenelle and David’s house is definitely not the place.
Images: Shutterstock; @j_evans1219, @easondavid88 / Instagram
Even if you’ve never seen an episode of Teen Mom, you’ve definitely heard about some of the crazy sh*t cast members have gotten themselves into the news for. Never forget the time that Farrah Abraham did porn, then tried to pretend it was a private sex tape. Good memories. It’s almost as if teen parents who willingly publicize their lives on national television have a tendency toward bad decisions or something!! Color me shocked. Lately, Jenelle Evans and David Eason, two Teen Mom 2 stars—or former stars now—are all over the news because of some truly disturbing events.
Here’s what went down. Last week, David Eason, Jenelle Evans’ husband, purposefully shot and killed their French bulldog Nugget in North Carolina where they live. He now could go to jail for up to 4 months, which honestly seems like too little for such a vile act. Jenelle claimed he killed the dog because it was being aggressive toward Ensley, their 2-year-old daughter, and that she was seriously considering pressing charges against him for it (makes sense). I would press charges if someone gave my dog a weird look on the sidewalk, so David deserves whatever punishment is coming his way.
As most offenders tend to do, David defended himself in his caption on a since-deleted Instagram post with a video of Nugget barking at Ensley close to her face, and a picture of her with a red mark on her cheek. He wrote, (brace yourself for a lot of grammatical errors which for the sake of authenticity we have not edited out) “I dont give a damn what animal bites my baby on the face… whether it be your dog or mine, a dog is a dog and I dont put up with that s–t at all.” He continued, “I’m all about protecting my family, it is my lifes mission. Some people are worth killing or dying for and my family means that much to me. You can hate me all you want but this isnt the first time the dog bit Ensley aggressively. The only person that can judge weather or not a animal is a danger to MY CHILD is ME.”
Let’s assume these events really happened. Fine, okay, protect your child. But not entirely unlike the LVP/Dorit puppy-gate on RHOBH in which Dorit rescued a dog from Vanderpump Dogs, and then gave poor Lucy Lucy Apple Juice away to someone who gave her to a kill shelter, all because the dog nipped at her kid, there are MANY other steps that could have been taken before SHOOTING A DOG. It definitely did not have to come to this.
Rather than dropping David’s ass like any normal human would, Jenelle has since said she’s considering marriage counseling, and she wants to stand by her man. Sadly for her, it has now cost her her role on Teen Mom 2. David had already been fired from the show for making transphobic and homophobic comments on social media. Producers might have accepted a sincere apology from him for this, but in true wack job fashion, he then threatened them over text to “shut down production” on the show. Funny, I have a feeling this would also get me fired from my job. Also, David, you can’t shut down production. Only production can shut down production. That’s like me trying to fire my boss after shooting a dog on company property.
On Friday, things took an even darker turn when Child Protective Services had Jenelle’s 4-year-old son Kaiser taken from his pre-school by his paternal grandmother without Jenelle’s consent after he aired his mom and step dad’s dirty laundry to his school counselor. At least someone here is in therapy.
At this point, Jenelle’s mom Barbara Evans has full custody of her oldest son, Jace, who’s nine years old, and as of this afternoon, there’s a report that her youngest daughter, Ensley, is going to be taken by CPS as well. She’s expected to be placed in Barbara’s care as well, and reportedly police are worried that David is a great danger to everyone involved, including law enforcement. After Kaiser was taken, Jenelle gave the following statement: “During this difficult time, I am focused on getting Kaiser back and cooperating with my legal team on the next steps to getting my children back.”
Clearly, both of these parents have issues they need to sort out. Hopefully, justice will put Jenelle Evans’ children in the right hands for their best interest. No matter how messed up some things her husband has done are (RIP Nugget), it’s sad that Jenelle had to spend Mother’s Day weekend without her child. In the mean time, it looks like I’m gonna spend the next two weeks binging all of Teen Mom 2.
Images: j_evans1219 (2) / Instagram
