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Show Me Your Spotify Daylist And I'll Show You How Unwell I Am

Forget Spotify Wrapped and Sound Town, the music app that acts as my daily horoscope has come out with a new way to hyper-analyze my embarrassing taste. Spotify Daylist is a curated playlist based on the big feelings we experience throughout the day. But what if they were actually honest… You listened to sunshine and tribal sacrifice on Sunday evenings? Here’s some forest blues while you rock back and forth in bed. Here are some playlist ideas for free! You’re welcome.

Note from Spotify: If none of these relate to you please get a fucking CD player, your chaotic taste is ruining our algorithm.

  1. Screaming Into The White Noise Machine Monday Morning
  2. Perpetual Rage We Ride Tuesday At Dawn Spin Class
  3. Ruminating Over The 2024 Election (100 BPM)
  4. Denial About The 2000s Being 20 Years Ago Wednesday Lunch With The New Intern
  5. Manifesting Being A “Chill Girl” Laid Back Afternoon
  6. Fucking Up A TikTok Recipe Friday Night Alone
  7. Organized Religion Piano Hymns Are U There God? Friday Night Bender
  8. Nostalgic For Serotonin Sunday Evening
  9. Single But Not Desperate Enough To Go Out Saturday Night
  10. Period Cramp Or ER Visit? Sunday Evening
  11. Just Left Therapy And Walked Right Into Snowfall Tuesday Afternoon
  12. One Leg Out Of Blanket Thursday At 3 A.M.
  13. Influenced Into Making a Sourdough Starter and Hating Myself For It Sunday Morning
  14. Everyone Is Mad At Me Monday Morning Orchestra
  15. What Is That McDonald’s Bag Doing On My Nightstand Sunday Morning
  16. Late To Work With Cold Brew In Hand Tuesday Morning
  17. Permashifting In Lecture Thursday Afternoon 
  18. Standing In Line At A Packed Trader Joe’s Sunday Night Emocore
  19. Cloying Narcissist Indie That Sounds Like Your Ex Situationship
  20. Like Noah Kahan But Angry For Wasting Away Your 20’s Saturday 2 P.M.
  21. Cozy Idle Vibes For Searching Your Hinge Match’s High School Soccer Team
  22. I’m Never Going To Find A Job 2 A.M. Existential Pop Punk
  23. Pregaming The Function With Social Anxiety And Arctic Monkey Dupes Friday 11 P.M. 
  24. Executive Dysfunction Decision Paralysis Sunday Night
  25. Optimistically Withering Away Wednesday Afternoon
  26. Delicate Baby Girl Discovers Showtunes Saturday
  27. Romanticizing My Life Holding A Coffee Mug Watching The Snow Sunday Morning
  28. Stick To The Status Quo Bedroom Bangers For Mostly Missionary Monday
  29. Walking By The River Pretending To Be Adele Lunchtime
  30. My Happiness Is a Commodity Sunday Night Dinner
  31. Good Vibes Sung By Hot People While You Fuck Up Make Up Tutorial Tuesday
  32. Situationship Not Texting You Back Tracy Chapman Covers
  33. Young And Free Yet Heavily Burdened By Rent First Day Of The Month
  34. Gregorian Chant Hot Girl Doom Scroll Evening
Melanie Whyte
Melanie Whyte
Melanie Whyte (she/her) leads the lifestyle and relationship content at Betches. As an amateur New Yorker and professional bisexual, she enjoys writing about the bane of sex and relationships in the city. She is also perpetually in her messy house era despite spending all of her money on Instagram ads.