Let’s be real: dating a celebrity already seems like a lot to deal with, but dating after a celebrity? That seems like a hell of its own. Kayla Nicole, fashion influencer and the ex-girlfriend of Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce, found herself in the middle of just that — a never-ending comparison hell against… Taylor Swift. And unfortunately, that’s usually not a battle you come out winning.
In the latest episode of Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test (aka reality TV boot camp for celebs who are going through it), Kayla opened up about the emotional toll of seeing her name reduced to “Travis Kelce’s ex” in headlines, especially now that he’s dating the world’s favorite cardigan-wearing pop star.
“Going through a public breakup, just to be frank, it’s been overwhelming. I’ve never experienced anything like it,” she said. She also explained how internet trolls still comment about Taylor on her posts (even though Kayla and Travis broke up about three years ago). And honestly, can we blame her? Being the ex of someone who’s one-half of the most talked-about couple in the world right now seems like too much for anyone to handle.
But Kayla isn’t just sitting around scrolling through comments. She joined Special Forces (I really don’t get this show) to prove to herself — and, let’s be honest, probably a few haters — that she’s more than a footnote in Travis’ love life. Between bungee jumping off cliffs and battling frigid ocean waters, Kayla said she’s hoping to remind herself that she’s capable of doing “hard things.”
And she still managed to keep it classy when talking about Taylor, saying she thinks the singer is “very talented.” But she also admitted that the constant comparisons have made her question her self-worth. And it honestly sounds exhausting. Imagine not being able to properly move on from a relationship because the internet won’t let you — three years later!
On the show, one of the staff pulled up a tabloid headline about her breakup (seriously, what are they doing on this show?) Kayla broke down in tears and admitted that the endless loop of online commentary has left her emotionally drained.
“It’s inadvertently affected me to the point where it makes me question, just like, my overall value as a person, as a partner,” she shared. “I think it’s just the comparison and it’s just like on loop. I think I’m still trying to figure out how to deal with that.”
How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Your Ex’s New Girlfriend
I’ve never been in a relationship with a celebrity, let alone a celebrity who’s dating one of the biggest pop stars in the world, so I may not be able to relate to the scale of what Kayla’s going through. But, letting an ex’s new partner affect my self-worth? Yeah, I’ve been there. And I’m sure a ton of you have, too.
“It’s normal for comparisons to creep in — they often come from self-doubt or a desire for validation, not lingering feelings for an ex,” marriage and family therapist Megan Collins tells Betches.
But the great thing about feelings is that you have control over them. I know that snapping out of negative thought patterns can be really hard, but we’re going to have to put in a little work here.
“Instead of letting those thoughts drag you down, redirect that energy toward celebrating your fantastic new journey,” Collins says. “Start by practicing self-compassion — treat yourself like you would a best friend.”
And even though your ex may not be all over social media, you might still benefit from limiting how long you spend on social media. Because let’s be real — how long until you accidentally stumble on his new girlfriend’s profile again?
The great part about hitting an emotional low is that it’s only up from there. And if all else fails, Collins says you might want to blast some Adele (“Send My Love,” to be specific) to help yourself out.
