When it comes to the standards we typically hold for male partners, collectively, I think it’s safe to say that the bar is in hell. And the thing is, this isn’t just for the average person. Even celebrities (yes, those people who have millions of dollars and quite literally don’t need anyone) have demonstrated time and time again that when it comes to the men we date and marry, we’re basically asking for crumbs. The latest person to do this? Katy Perry.
Now, you probably haven’t heard too much about Katy in recent years besides the fact that she and husband Orlando Bloom (still so shocked at this pairing) had a daughter together about four years ago. But Katy recently appeared on everyone’s favorite-podcast-to-hate Call Her Daddy, where she talked about her relationship, her journey to self-love, and all that good stuff. She also mentioned a little bit about her red flags.
Katy said that one of her biggest red flags is someone who doesn’t help around the house. Totally fair and I totally agree. But then, she goes on to say that her love language is acts of service and that when a partner does basic chores, it essentially turns her on. Actually, no, what she literally said was, “If I come downstairs and the kitchen is clean, and you’ve done all the dishes, and you’ve closed all the pantry doors, you better be ready to get your dick sucked!” Interesting.
women make me so sad sometimes :(( https://t.co/Aszq0y6Y8i
— alice pieszecki (@diandrasdiandra) September 4, 2024
She even doubles down and says she doesn’t need a “red Ferrari” from a partner because she can buy herself that. “Just do the fucking dishes! I will suck your dick! It’s that easy!” But even as someone who can’t buy herself a red Ferrari, I have to say, I’m a little disappointed.
Sure, it’s (kinda?) a funny moment and you can see Katy is very passionate about what she said, and I get the idea behind what she means. It’s satisfying to have a partner that pulls their weight around the house, sure. But can we be very real for a second here? “Rewarding” someone with oral for doing their share of chores is… kind of like clapping for a fish for swimming. If one of your red flags is someone who doesn’t help around the house, isn’t someone who does help around the house a bare minimum requirement in a partner for you?
Here’s the other thing: I know foreplay looks so different for everyone and it happens as soon as you wake up. Foreplay can be the way your partner speaks to you all day or romances you before they even lay a finger on you. And while it’s nice to be appreciative of a partner for (let’s be real) just doing their share of chores, should we be screaming that we’ll “suck their dick” for doing a couple of dishes? Is the bar so low for us that we have to offer oral sex to our literal partners (hello, equals) for doing things they should already be doing that more-than-likely you’re already doing?
I get it, not everything has to be a think piece, but sometimes we let celebrities get away with pushing narratives that can be pretty harmful to women. I saw so many women in the comments of that video saying things like “she gets it,” or “so relatable” and it didn’t make me laugh… it just made me really sad for women in heterosexual relationships. As women, we need to do some deep internal work to raise our standards for the types of partners we have. Let’s all agree that a partner who closes all the pantry doors, is definitely the absolute bare minimum of what we’re looking for in the loves of our lives.
Also, do Katy and Orlando not have a housekeeper? Because then this whole thing definitely confuses me.
