Many celebrities attempt open relationships. An open relationship is defined simply as a relationship that is not monogamous. There are many different types of these relationships — most involving sex but not all.
For example, swinging can be a type of open marriage, but swingers aren’t necessarily in open marriages. Some people step out of their relationship purely for sex, while others choose to carry on meaningful relationships with multiple partners (moving more into polyamorous territory).
The bottom line is: The only way this shit works is if there’s a lot of communication and boundary setting with your partner.
Many celebrities have carried on decades-long marriages while seeing other people. Mo’Nique has famously spoken about her arrangement with husband Sidney Hicks, whom she married in 2006, and they cohost a podcast called “Open Relationship.”
With that level of dedication to the lifestyle, it’s surprising that Mo’Nique said she “grew out” of her open marriage and now remains monogamous with her husband.
“Life began to happen. I began to see a strength I had never seen before. He loved me at my worst. I didn’t want to sacrifice that just for a lay,” she told The Hollywood Reporter in March 2023.
Some people exercise this level of freedom and choice in their relationships while not exactly being in an open marriage. Dolly Parton joked that if she was in an open marriage with husband Carl Thomas Dean, it would frankly be none of her business.
“If we cheat, we don’t know it. So, if we do cheat, it’s very good for both us. I don’t want to know it if he’s cheating on me,” she said in 2007, per Daily Mail. “If I’m cheating on him, he wouldn’t want to know it. And if we do, if that’s what’s making it work, then that’s fine too.”
Once people began interpreting her comments to mean she was in an open marriage, she backtracked during an interview with Oprah Winfrey, saying, “We let each other be who we are and what we are, but I’d kill him if I knew he was with somebody, and he’d kill me.”
Here’s what celebrities have said about being in open relationships:
Mo’Nique And Sidney Hicks
“Initially, when I asked for it, it was because I wanted to continue to see the gentlemen that I was seeing, and I felt comfortable telling my best friend … so when I sat down and said this is what I want initially it was because I wanted to still have sex with who I was seeing and I didn’t want it to be where I was keeping anything from my best friend,” Mo’Nique told Essence in 2006. “That’s how it initially started, and when I tell you the conversations that we’ve had, it has taken me to a different place where I’m not even thinking of another man sexually, but still open to it.”
In 2023, she confirmed they no longer had an open arrangement in their marriage.
RuPaul and Georges LeBar
The pair met in 1994 and tied the knot in 2017. They are one of the *only* couples that I truly believe this arrangement works for.
“I wouldn’t want to put restraints on the person I love the most on this planet. … Listen, if you get something happening that you cannot resist and that is gonna make you happy, go for it,” he told Vanity Fair in 2020. “Because the truth is, I know in my heart of hearts like I’ve ever known anything before that man loves me more than anything else in this world.”
Thomas Middleditch and Mollie Gates
The Silicon Valley actor gave monogamy a go with Mollie Gates but opted to change their agreement to a “swinging” lifestyle after they got married.
“I’d always thought I was a romantic and that when I fall in love, that stuff fades away,” he told Playboy about the urge to have sex with other people. “It does for some years — enough to be like, ‘I should get married, and I’ll be different.’ But it’s part of me. If that’s part of your being and it feels important to you, find a way to explore it because repression sucks.”
At the time, he said the decision “saved” his marriage. “We’re not off on our own; we’re together, a unit,” he continued. “It’s a perpetual state of management and communication, to the point where it’s like, ‘All right, we’ve got to stop. Chill.’ I’m gas, and she’s brakes.”
Thomas and Mollie were married from 2015 to 2020.
Margaret Cho and Al Ridenour
“I’m married to a man, but I’m bisexual, so I like both. … We got together because we both have this , ‘I just don’t want to have sex with the same person my whole life. That’s gross,'” Margaret Cho said on The Talk, adding they jointly decided to have an open relationship as soon as they began dating.
The comedian was married from 2003 to 2015.
Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith
I know we’ve all heard *too* much from Jada Pinkett about her marriage in the past few years, but this list isn’t complete without the Smiths.
“I’ve always told Will, ‘You can do whatever you want as long as you can look at yourself in the mirror and be OK.’ Because at the end of the day, Will is his own man,” she wrote via Facebook in 2013. “He has to decide who he wants to be and that’s not for me to do for him. Or vice versa.”
However, she clarified in a 2023 interview with People that they never had, technically, an open relationship.
“We eliminated the chance of betrayal,” she said. “It’s like, ‘Let’s talk about it. Let’s work through it together. Let’s be in partnership. Let’s not keep each other in the dark. I think where that got confusing is that as time went on, there were different stages in my marriage where Will and I decided we were not together. We didn’t tell the public, where I was actually thinking about divorcing, separating. There’ve been several of those where we’ve gone and lived our separate lives. So I think within that is where people might’ve thought that, ‘Oh, they must be having an open relationship.'”
Brody Jenner and Kaitlynn Carter
Brody Jenner said the “best sex” he ever had was with ex Kaitlynn Carter.
“We’re not opposed to having somebody else join in on our sexcapades,” Brody told GQ in 2015. “I truly believe a lot more people are a lot more receptive than you think. And when the conversation was brought up, Kaitlynn said, ‘I actually don’t mind at all.’ So I was extremely excited about that.”
The former couple was together for five years before they split in 2019. Although they had a wedding Bali, they never legalized their marriage.
William Daniels and Bonnie Bartlett
Mr. Feeny walked so everyone else could run. He was in an open marriage before most of our PARENTS were born. However, the arrangement didn’t work for him and Bonnie Bartlett, whom he married in 1951, and they ended up leaving New York City, moving to California, and committing to monogamy.
“I guess it was a little bit of an open marriage at first, but that was very painful. That didn’t work well,” Bonnie told Vanity Fair in 2023. “And it was a time when people were doing that. It was a time in New York when there was a lot of sex and a lot of people doing all sorts of things, you know — very free.”
Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore
I’ll pretty much take any opportunity to shit on Ashton Kutcher, but I’ll let Demi Moore do it this time as she reflects on their marriage, which lasted from 2005 to 2013.
“I put him first. So when he expressed his fantasy of bringing a third person into our bed, I didn’t say no. I wanted to show him how great and fun I could be,” she wrote in her memoir, Inside Out. She said Ashton used their threesomes as a defense for his (alleged) cheating, explaining, “Because we had brought a third party into our relationship, Ashton said, that blurred the lines and, to some extent, justified what he’d done.”
Kehlani and YG
“I low-key am saying shit can go down as long as everything is communicated because everyone’s adults. I know how this life is,” Kehlani said on The Breakfast Club in 2020 about their relationship with YG, adding that their three-month fling ultimately ended because of “a lot of lies and a lot of covering up.”
Kehlani, who labeled themself as a lesbian in 2021, still prefers polyamorous relationships, defining it as “whatever boundaries you guys set with each other.”
Drew Barrymore and Luke Wilson
Drew Barrymore spilled some tea about her relationship with Luke Wilson in the ‘90s, and I’ve never been more captivated by a story.
“When we first met, we were young and wild,” Barrymore told Kate Hudson on her talk show in 2022 while recalling how the ladies first met. “I was dating , but I think he was also dating other people. Yeah, totally, it was an open relationship, we were young.”
Ethan Hawke And Ryan Shawhughes
While Ethan Hawke isn’t in an open marriage to Ryan Shawhughes, per se, he pretty much gaslit anyone who thinks cheating is a big deal.
“People have such a childish view of monogamy and fidelity,” he told Mr. Porter in 2013. “To act all indignant that your world has been rocked because your lover wasn’t faithful to you is a little bit like acting rocked that your hair went grey. Human beings are sexual beings.”
It’s a shaky metaphor at best, but he’s still married, sooooo … best of luck. His current marriage is “thrilling,” but he maintains that he’s dedicated to growth. Sure, Jan.
“I’m committed to it, but neither she nor I know what shape the future will come in,” he said. “Sexual fidelity can’t be the whole thing you hang your relationship on. If you really love somebody, you want them to grow, but you don’t get to define how that happens. They do.”
