Relationships aren’t always easy, and just in case you forgot that universal truth, Love Is Blind’s eighth season is here to remind you. Now, I thought Madison and her mayhem in the pods might be the messiest situation on season 8, but Dave stepped right on up and said, “Hold my beer.”
From where I was gleefully overanalyzing strangers from the comfort of my home, Dave and his fiancée Lauren didn’t stand a chance. I had my doubts mostly because of the way Dave treated Lauren and Molly as if they were both the love of his life. But I also couldn’t forget that Dave started the show proclaiming his biggest red flag into a megaphone: he had a problem valuing women as people instead of superficial models because of his work in plastic surgery.
Cue: Dave not treating Lauren like someone worthy of being broken up with, with respect, and, sadly, I’ve seen this move before. Dave’s slow break up with Lauren on Love Is Blind should be studied in the fuckboy history books.
What happened with Dave and Lauren on Love Is Blind?
@wizardofha Dave thinks he’s smart. #loveisblind ♬ original sound – Jared Freid
Things were pre-marital bliss for Lauren and David for about two seconds until Dave’s friends told him some unfortunate tea about Lauren’s past after they exited the pods. What was the tawdry skeleton in Lauren’s closet? She’d been hooking up with a mutual of Dave’s leading up to filming the show.
For some reason, Dave expects Lauren, her friends, family, and the audience at home to believe that he (a grown adult male with a pre-existing sex life) is genuinely horrified that Lauren (a grown adult female post-puberty) had a casual fling before getting engaged. Dave’s (constantly moving) point is that Lauren was not ready for marriage because she was exiting a fresh “relationship” and, on top of that, lied about it, but honestly, that’s not even the biggest problem here.
Dave’s especially heinous love crime is the tailspin he drags Lauren through for FOUR whole episodes of wishy-washy goal post-moving. First, he’s so disturbed by the information that he needs to spend multiple nights away from home and cancel the friend mixer that realistically could’ve squashed this whole thing. Then, Dave’s sister (who was never on board with him joining the show) is so disturbed on behalf of her brother that she refuses to even grace Lauren with her presence. According to Dave, his precious big sis “doesn’t meet just anybody,” one of many relationship-ending sentences he casually drops, and Lauren awkwardly tries to swallow.
At every turn, Dave flags another complication that Lauren’s forgettable situationship has allegedly caused him and all of his loved ones. But he simultaneously manages to keep a tiny bit of hope alive, repeating their mantra, “We don’t have to be here, but we’re choosing to be here,” and telling Lauren, despite her basically ruining everything with her big fat scarlet A, that he still loves her.
Except it’s pretty obvious to everyone but Lauren that Dave’s version of love wouldn’t be enough. It seemed like Dave was beelining for a way out the second he had a decent excuse; he just didn’t want to be the one to officially pull the plug on camera. I’ve never seen a man be more creative than when Dave found a million ways to tell Lauren she’d never become a part of his friends and family without saying, “So I have to call off the engagement.”
By episode 11, Dave’s endurance tactic worked: Lauren forced him to have a hard conversation without circular talk. Mind you, Dave still doesn’t firmly initiate the breakup but says, “It’s very hard for me to walk away from this, but I think that’s the right decision.” It’s Lauren who finally gives up and walks away for good.
How do you know if your boyfriend is trying to get you to break up with him?
You can bet the slow breakup is in effect if your boyfriend picks out an issue (or multiple issues) in your relationship but refuses to do anything to find a solution for them. In Dave’s case, his (very nosey) inner circle didn’t trust Lauren. But every time Lauren suggested getting together to get it all out on the table, Dave had a weak excuse (basically, that they didn’t want to).
As Molly (girl’s girl of the year) preached to Dave, if he really loved Lauren and wanted to be together, he would’ve forced reconciliation instead of constantly throwing the “millions of messages” shit-talking Lauren in her face. Dave’s excuse for letting things crumble? “It’s just not that easy.” This is actually the easiest cop-out when someone would rather end it than work through something with you.
If the reason your sig O is giving you grief feels blown out of proportion or hard to understand, trust your gut. They might be searching for an excuse to cut things off when the real reason is they’re just not into you anymore. Sadly, instead of putting on their big boy pants, some players find it easier to leave a long ass trail of bread crumbs for their partner to come to the conclusion of a split on their own. Making a breakup seem like your partner’s idea when you’re actually the one who wants it to be over is both extremely corny and pretty cowardly, too.
If, like Dave, your partner is putting the responsibility on external people or situations for why your relationship can’t work, go ahead and give them what they want and break it off. You don’t want to be in a relationship with an adult who can’t use their words, anyway, right? Just beware of the boomerang you know is coming back around with a dude who doesn’t prioritize your feelings.
