The trending people and killer Orcas who gift us top-tier yap material for the group chat and rot our brains until there are only one or two cells left deserve some kind of recognition. That’s why last year, we took the initiative and held our inaugural Betch of the Year Awards. After rounding up an impressive list of nominees, we awarded absolute serves like Ryan Gosling’s Kenergy-filled Barbie press tour and deeply depressing flops like Elon Musk and X, formerly known as Twitter. A year later, it’s time for a well-researched, in-depth update on these (positive and negative) iconic figures and trends. So, where are our 2023 Betch of the Year winners today? Please enjoy this formal report.

Betch Of The Year 2023 Winners: Where Are They Now?

Betch of the Year: White Gladis the Orca And Her Army

Madame Gladis Blanca, you will always be famous. Just last May, White Gladis and her girls, Black Gladis and Grey Gladis, were back to sabotaging yachts, this time in the Strait of Gibraltar. As we speak, there’s a specialist Orca team searching for this betch and her crew in the waters near there. Experts believe WG was with child when she started attacking boats for fun, so I hope White Gladis Junior is thriving. A word of advice: Don’t be a yacht man in Spain, Portugal, France, and Morocco, if you don’t wanna meet these killer whale betches.

Flop of the Year: X/Twitter

Yup, she’s still the floppiest flop there ever was in 2024! But I fear Threads is never gonna be that girl, and I still obsessively check Pop Base and Pop Crave for important news. Why can’t a woman peruse the news and enjoy memes without being forced to see Elon’s every ridiculous thought? We’re tired. I pray 2025 brings a more solid alternative than Threads (and I continue to root for Elon’s downfall).

Add to Cart of the Year: Silver Outfit From The Renaissance Tour 

This year, Beyoncé traded in her glowing silver horse and metallic costumes for a plain white horse and edgy western looks when she transitioned from Renaissance to Cowboy Carter. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss the Renaissance era, but hey, we can always pull our silver outfits out of the closet for themed parties or, ya know, for when we perform the tour in our bedrooms at 1am.

Scam/Scandal of the Year: Scandoval

They’ll put this violent love triangle in the history books one day. Although the worm with a mustache and his partner in crime, Raquelle-turned Rachel, are the definition of diabolical narcissists, this viral affair is high-key the best thing that ever happened to Ariana. After casting people and producers caught wind of Scandoval, Ariana was summoned to Broadway where she starred as Roxie Hart in Chicago, and she also hosted the most successful season of Love Island USA ever. She did her big ones, you might say. Not to mention, she moved on in about three seconds with a hot personal trainer named Dan Wai. As for Worm and Rachel? I think they’re still whining about the consequences of their own actions to whoever will listen.

Fever Dream Couple of the Year: Ariana Grande And Ethan Slater

Haters will hate, but I’m an Arianator and it fills me with joy to see this legend living her best inner theater kid life. The current blondie and her ginger BF are preparing for the first Wicked movie to hit theaters on Thanksgiving, and she recently showed up at the Stanley Cup Finals in Florida with Ethan and supported him at his Spamalot shows. Yes, this unexpected duo is still going strong a year later! Eternal Sunshine is one of my favorite albums of the year, so TBH, I just wanna thank all muses involved and thank Ariana for her hard work and brilliant mind.

Viral Trend/Moment of the Year: Roman Empire

Although her TikTok viral moment has come and gone, the Roman Empire lives on — both in aqueducts and in brain rot speak. You’d have to ask men if they still think about the actual Roman Empire, but personally, my Roman Empires remain the same: the golden era of Disney Channel and main pop girls.

Feud of the Year: “I Got Married In Italy”: Kourtney Kardashian vs. Kim Kardashian 

Despite that “Not Kourtney” group chat and the whole “You stole my fucking wedding country and my wedding performer” situation, Kim and Kourtney are allegedly cool with each other these days. “We’re sisters,” Kourtney said in a May 2024 episode confessional. “I’m sure a lot of people have had crazy fights with their siblings. Maybe ours are more extreme.” Yeah, I can’t say my brother and I have ever clashed over Dolce & Gabbana, Andrea Bocelli, or a destination wedding. But don’t wanna jinx us!

Press Tour of the Year: Ryan Gosling’s Commitment to Kenergy

To this day, I still feel the Kenergy. So does Glen Powell, who just responded to comparisons of him and Ryan with an iconic quote: “I’m just Glen.” Ryan remains booked, busy, and beautiful as always — we can look forward to his 2026 space movie, Project Hail Mary. His Barbie press tour, on the other hand, is probably still in mourning after the movie lost the Battle of Barbenheimer at the Oscars.

Inspirational Quote of the Year: Gwyneth Paltrow vs. Ski Crash Victim: “I Wish You Well” 

Over a year later, I still find myself saying “I wish you well” to my mortal enemies when I really mean that I wish them the worst; surely, this powerful quote from the Goop queen’s ski incident trial will live on forever. I hope Terry, the retired optometrist, has managed to put all the drama behind him. Gwyneth, of course, is $1 richer, has spent this year girl bossing at Goop, and is gearing up to join Timmy Chalamet in a new A24 film called Marty Supreme.