If there’s one thing the show You has taught us — besides never trusting a hot guy who’s too into books — it’s that sex and murder are basically foreplay. Whether Joe (played by Penn Badgley) is pretending to be a normal boyfriend or spiraling into another obsessive fantasy, the man somehow always finds time to get laid. From public hookups to pegging to blindfolded BDSM, this show has served up a charcuterie board of steamy, psychotic encounters that live rent-free in our heads.

So naturally, I ranked every single sex scene across all four seasons (and yes, I included the messed-up ones, too, because it’s You, and nothing is sacred). Let’s get into the little deaths that left the biggest impressions.

You Sex Scenes Across All Seasons: A Ranking

21. Beck and Joe (Season 1, Episode 3)

Image Credit: Netflix

The show’s first couple: Joe and Beck (Elizabeth Lail). After a string of meaningless flings meant to distract her from Benji (who Beck thinks ghosted her — but is actually locked in Joe’s basement, #justgirlythings), she finally gives Joe a shot. She opens up about her dad, invites Joe over, and they hook up. Unfortunately for him, he doesn’t exactly go the distance and earns the nickname “eight-second Joe” from Beck and her friend Peach (Shay Mitchell). Tragic.

20. Peach and Raj (Season 1, Episode 6)

Mentally stable? Never heard of her. Peach invites Beck to her country house, brings in drug dealer/hottie Raj (Gerrard Lobo), and initiates a threesome. Beck bails, so Peach pegs Raj while Joe hides under the bed. We don’t see much, but we hear a lot—and honestly? It’s kind of a vibe.

19. Beck and Benji/Joe (Season 1, Episode 1)

Back when Joe seemed more like an overeager bookworm than a literal serial killer, he watched Beck hook up with her boyfriend, Benji (Lou Taylor Pucci), through her window. She’s clearly not feeling it, and Joe—creepily—starts fantasizing about “taking” her himself. He masturbates on the street. It’s grimy, it’s deviant… it’s a little hot? I’m so sorry.

18. Love, Sherry, Cary, and Joe (Season 3, Episode 8)

Remember my The White Lotus sex roundup? I love some company in the bedroom. Joe and Love swing with Sherry (Shalita Grant)and Cary (Travis Van Winkle), the town’s favorite power couple. Things escalate from flirty banter to full-on group sex, complete with accessories. Joe imagines Sherry is Marianne (yikes), Love gets jealous, and the Conrads end up in the basement. Classic.

17. Karen and Joe (Season 1, Episode 7)

KAREN MINTY, MY GIRL. This is random but iconic. Joe rebounds with Karen (Natalie Paul), who’s just trying to decompress after dealing with her pal Claudia’s addiction and her ex, Ron. It turns into a casual thing, though Joe judges her the whole time. It fizzles when Beck wants him back. Obviously.

16. Kate and Joe (Season 4, Episode 3)

Now you’ll soon learn I give bonus points for public sex, which might make you wonder how this park sex scene ended up so low on the list. That’s because of the dialogue, with Kate literally saying, “Don’t kiss me, we might fall in love.” That kind of forced dialogue really grinds my gears. Still, Joe gropes her while they do it fully clothed in the park, and it’s…not bad.

15. Bronte and Joe (Season 5, Episode 4)

Joe’s married to mega-wealthy girl boss Kate Lockwood (Charlotte Ritchie), but shocker—he’s still broken. He starts fantasizing about his new bookstore employee, Bronte (Madeline Brewer). Think: office foreplay followed by a steamy shower. Naughty boy.

14. Beck and Joe (Season 1, Episode 4)

“Eight-second Joe” gets a redemption arc! After stalking Beck to a Dickens festival (as one does), Joe lands another night with her. This scene is sexy and funny—he’s frantically hiding all his stalker evidence while trying to get laid. Bonus points for managing a new personal best.

13. Marianne and Joe (Season 3, Episode 9)

Our boy just couldn’t settle into domestic life and had to find a new obsession. Enter Marianne (Tati Gabrielle), the quiet, artistic Head Librarian. The two do the deed, and shots are interspersed with the two prisoners Joe has locked in his box—yikes. It’s a tender kind of lovemaking and yet coated with the underlying threat of danger. We know what’s coming, and soon Marianne will too.

12. Bronte and Joe (Season 5, Episode 4)

King of manifestation, Joe turns fantasy into reality—again. Bronte finds his kinky, smutty writings (bold move), assumes they’re about her (even bolder), and starts a hot office affair. As a lit erotica girlie myself, I respect it.

11. Love and Joe—but also Theo and Marianne (Season 3, Episode 6)

Four’s a crowd, especially when the other person doesn’t realize they have company. Love feels guilty about hooking up with hot neighbor Theo (Dylan Arnold), and potentially, she’s also ensuring that a pregnancy mishap could pass off as Joe’s. Meanwhile, Joe is just gagging for Marianne. The result? The married couple has sex with each other…but also with their respective love interests. And while this is def not the key to a healthy marriage or sex drive, their fantasies make it soooo good. Joe fantasizes about Marianne in the library, opening her legs for him a la Basic Instinct. Love imagines Theo seductively munching on a cupcake. It’s bisexual chaos over here.

10. Delilah and Joe (Season 2, Episode 6)

If I had a nickel for every time Joe shags women looking to decompress right after a breakup, I’d have two nickels, which is still oddly specific. This time, it’s Delilah (Carmela Zumbado), who runs the apartment complex and raises her younger sister, Ellie. Joe comforts Delilah about what Henderson did to her, and they kiss. They have sex right there on the apartment floor, after which she gets up and says, “Thanks for the D, Will. Bye!” (Iconic parting line.)

9. Love and Joe (Season 3, Episode 2)

Image Credit: Netflix

What do you mean your sex sessions don’t end with you both proclaiming, “I would kill for you”? Find better lovers, honey. Love and Joe are feeling the familiar new parent struggle to get intimate, and they finally manage to find their way back to each other in this extended, tender sequence. The baby is down for the night, the masks are off, and the animalistic desire is back in the picture!

8. Beck and Joe (Season 1, Episode 8)

I might be a certified Beck hater, but this scene? Hot. They reunite on a ferry at night, Beck’s blocked creatively, and next thing you know, they’re going at it on the deck. No one around, skyline in the background—college-me could never top this, though she did try.

7. Love and Theo (Season 3, Episode 5)

The only thing that could make Love hotter in my eyes is if she became a cougar, so well done, writers. Theo is a sweet angel baby obsessed with Love, and the two ride an electric scooter after she bails him out of jail. They fall off and begin having sex right there in the park. They’re both scooting off their pants, leaves are everywhere, they’re grabbing each other, and….yep, A+ public sex.

6. Delilah and Joe (Season 2, Episode 7)

Round two! This time, it’s a drunken alley hookup that ends in their arrest. Delilah’s almost-boyfriend’s pissed, but Forty swoops in. It’s messy, quick, and delightfully chaotic. A+ public sex. Honestly, I wish we had more of these two before she died — cry.

5. Love and Theo (Season 3, Episode 7)

Sweet cupcake Theo and perfect Love are at it again, and this time it is in her own kitchen!! Considering Love is a boss in the kitchen, this is rather fitting. Give him something to eat, girlie. He’s clearly a lil more nervous about the setting, but Love takes control, and it cuts from the scene way too quickly. It’s short, sweet, and chef’s kiss.

4. Love and Joe (Season 3, Episode 1)

Image Credit: Netflix

Victoria Pedretti knows how to film a sex scene. They go for it up against a wall — aggressive, risky, and passionate. All the while, Joe hides another woman’s underwear in his pocket. He’s a mess. She’s flawless. Bad Joe, but very good, girl, Love.

3. Bronte and Joe (Season 5, Episode 5)

It took Joe five seasons to try BDSM? Make it make sense. Luckily, Bronte’s into it. She requests restraints, blindfolds, and control play—and Joe delivers. Psychotic, yes. Hot? Also yes.

2. Love and Joe (Season 3, Episode 8)

We all have our kinks, whether that’s feet, spit, or being called a “good girl.” For Love and Joe, this kink is violence. Joe and Love subdue their new swinger friends, the Conrads, and then have passionate sex afterward, realizing they’re both hella aroused by violence. Honestly, they were so perfect for each other. It breaks my heart.

1. Love and Joe (Season 2, Episode 3)

Image Credit: Netflix

As you might have realized, I’m a bit of a Love Apologist—guilty as charged. So it’ll come as no surprise that the hottest, deadliest sex scene in You goes to my girlie Love…and Joe. This is the first time the pair has sex, and I genuinely had to pause afterward to catch my breath. Joe has tried to take care of Love’s twin brother, Forty, and she is in Mama Bear mode. Then, the pair fight this irresistible attraction and go at it. They keep covering each other’s mouths to stop themselves from crying out and waking up Forty — who has heard the entire thing. Love even gags Joe with a tie — are you KIDDING ME? It is primal and delicious, and yes, I will need a cold shower after this.