There’s always a lot to unpack in the weekly episodes of The White Lotus, including crazy rich people shenanigans, screwed-up families, and the looming threat of someone dying by the end of their holiday. But one of the things The White Lotus does best (aside from incest) is sex scenes. Mike White and his team know how to make you feel both horny and uncomfortable with a good ol’ fashioned romp in the sheets. So, let’s make up for our own empty beds by ranking all the sex scenes in The White Lotus.

You’re about to see a lot of season 2 on this list, as the colorful Italian resort served as a backdrop for an exploration of sexual politics. In a season devoted to lust, we got a lot of the stuff, with Italian hookers, cheating spouses, uncle/nephew bonding time, and more. But who knows, season 3 of The White Lotus just might steal the sexy crown, as everyone at the resort seems like they could do with a good sesh.

Spoiler alert: this article mentions scenes from season 3, episode 5 of The White Lotus.

The Best Sex Scenes in The White Lotus Ranked By Hotness

23. Mia and Giuseppe (Season 2, Episode 4)

Image Credit: Max

Despite Mia (Beatrice Grannò) being one of our favorite girlies in season 2, this sex scene is genuinely the worst thing we’ve ever witnessed. Mia is a musician and is desperate for her big break, meaning she’ll do anything… or anyone — yikes. She seduces the current White Lotus piano player, the much older Giuseppe (Federico Scribani Rossi), who previously propositioned her. To make it worse, their sneaky little deal goes down in the resort’s chapel. Mia gives Giuseppe some Viagra to help him perform; only it ends up being MDMA instead. He’s hospitalized, and yeah, Mia gets what she wants — yay?

22. Chloe, Chelsea, Saxon, and Lochlan (Season 3, Episode 5)

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Okay, so we don’t know if this was a sex scene just yet, but it was far too intimate, so yeah, I’m gonna include it. Saxon (Patrick Schwarzenegger) has been almost training his lil bro to get laid, and Lochlan (Sam Nivola) catches the eye of Chloe (Charlotte Le Bon), who seems to want a pity hookup with the “little magician.” Chelsea (Aimee Lou Wood) is dragged into this due to her boyfriend’s absence and Saxon’s clear attraction to her indifference.

The foursome have gone to a Full Moon Party, drank a lot, taken drugs, and are now lounging in the boat. Saxon dares the two women to kiss, and they do before urging the brothers to do the same. Lochlan eagerly plants a smacker on his brother before going in for a proper smooch at Chloe’s urging. Lochlan seems to enjoy himself, Chloe is finally less bored, and Saxon doesn’t seem to hate the experience — only Chelsea and the viewers are a little taken aback. I guess The White Lotus was finally ready for some incest.

21. Saxon’s Solo Sesh (Season 3, Episode 1)

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So before they went for actual incest, the seeds were already being planted for these two brothers (metaphorically speaking, yikes). Saxon insisted that he share a room with Lochlan, as it would be gross for his brother to share with his sister. Then immediately, he’s bringing up porn and whether their “hot” sister has had sex. Saxon goes to the bathroom to whack one out, and Lochlan watches him go, staring at his naked form. Big yikes, but Saxon, drop your squat routine, I want those perky cheeks.

20. Lucia and Dominic (Season 2, Episode 1)

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I support sex work when it’s ethical, but this was just a bit icky, considering middle-aged Dominic (Michael Imperioli) was on holiday with his elderly father and son. Later, we discover he is an emotionally unavailable sex addict who has driven away his wife through repeated infidelity. Also, it’s extra icky because his son later wants her too. But yeah, Lucia (Simona Tabasco) looked ridiculously attractive during this business exchange, so I can’t complain too much about it.

19. Lucia and Albie (Season 2, Episode 4)

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Oh, there she is again! Yeah, it was a toss-up between Lucia’s sesh with Albie (Adam DiMarco) and his dad, but we decided to give the more appropriate age interaction a lil headstart. Lucia seems to have some sort of affection for Albie despite trying to squeeze him for money, but we’re also very aware that she slept with his father literally days before. And it’s not just the audience, as both know this fact as well. The head game looked strong, though, so drop some tips, Lucia.

18. Tanya and Greg (Season 2, Episode 1)

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While Tanya (Jennifer Coolidge) can do no wrong, Greg (Jon Gries) is a literal piece of shit. Here’s hoping he goes down for all his crimes because he certainly wasn’t going down on Tanya in this sex scene! Their Honeymoon Phase is well and truly over, it seems, as Tanya is more interested in a piece of sculpture than her new hubby humping her. Much to Greg’s dismay, she ends the session prematurely, and he later gets back at her by cruelly mocking her for eating a few measly macarons.

17. Belinda and Pornchai (Season 3, Episode 5)

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GO GET IT, BELINDA!! So Belinda (Natasha Rothwell) has been in Thailand to learn from the resort and Pornchai (Dom Hetrakul) in particular, and there is no doubt that she is wildly attracted to this man. Hell, I had the hots for him after he rescued her from that lil dragon. She asks him to stay the night as she is afraid, and he readily agrees. Belinda is nervously fixing herself up when he enters, and she launches straight into a discussion of consent before Pornchai kisses her. It’s safe to say a very consensual sex scene will follow that.

16. Shane and Rachel (Season 1, Episode 1)

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What’s that? It’s the first sex season of the whole show! Considering this is between two newlyweds, you would definitely expect it to land higher on the list. But this scene is just so unbelievably awkward, and the fact that they’re on their Honeymoon only makes it worse. Shane (Jake Lacy) and Rachel (Alexandra Daddario) are both barely present in the act, with Shane being angry about the room situation and Rachel trying to ignore the growing realization that she shouldn’t have married him.

15. Tanya and Greg (Season 1, Episode 5)

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Before, the gays were trying to kill her, and before that lackluster sex scene that couldn’t live up to a literal statue, Tanya and Greg got it ON. Tanya’s sad girl energy was finally tossed aside for this heated scene with her new beau, Greg. He seems super keen on her, so she finally accepts herself to be worthy of love, and the two go for it. It’s a little weird as she deviates between begging him to leave and then passionately making out with him. Not to mention the Shakespearean-level dialogue of “I still wanna fuck you.”

14. Dominic, Lucia, and Mia (Season 2, Episode 2)

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Look, I know it’s unfair to put Dominic and Lucia last on the list and then this significantly higher… but I’m a sucker for a threesome; what can I say? While the two of them felt pretty transactional, adding Mia into the mix makes it all far more cheeky and adventurous. The three strip down, drink champagne and get it on in an en suite hot tub. I also just love Lucia and Mia’s friendship and women tackling issues together, and in this case, the issue is… his penis.

13. Jaclyn and Valentin (Season 3, Episode 5)

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Despite frequently urging her single bestie Laurie (Carrie Coon) to go after the hunky hotel employee, Jaclyn (Michelle Monaghan) ends the episode by hooking up with Valentin (Arnas Fedaravicius). She’s clearly feeling insecure after her boyfriend seemingly ignored her, and she was sent to an oldie resort. This doesn’t score higher on the list because it is such a BETRAYAL and a sign that she is not a girl’s girl. That being said, phwoooooooar!!! Jaclyn telling Valentin, “Let’s fuck,” was so hot.

12. Cameron, Ethan, Mia, and Lucia (Season 2, Episode 3)

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If I had a nickel for every wild drunken foursome on this show… I’d have two nickels, which is still impressive for three seasons.

Everyone’s fave Italian girlies are back, and this time, they’re detonating two marriages for the price of one — what a deal! Cameron (Theo James) and Ethan (Will Sharpe) are wifeless for the evening, so naturally, they invite escort Lucia and her bestie Mia to come and entertain them. Drugs and sex ensue, and it’s pretty hot. Only the consequences are less sexy when one of their wives discovers a rogue condom—ruh roh. Especially since it is Ethan’s wife, and he actually chickened out of the menage-a-foursome.

11. Rick and Chelsea (Season 3, Episode 2)

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Rick (Walter Goggins) and Chelsea are a couple we can’t quite wrap our heads around just yet. Like they’re into each other… I think? When you first see their age gap, you expect them to be banging away, with both in it for the wrong reasons. The intimacy is brought on by Chelsea’s near-brush with death in the robbery and Rick’s caring reaction. Straddling him, Chelsea and Rick kiss, and he removes her nightie to bring his mouth to her breasts. It is slow, controlled, and gentle, everything we didn’t expect from the pair. My biggest complaint is that it ends there.

10. Nicole and Mark (Season 1, Episode 5)

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As much as I love steamy, wild sex, there’s something to be said for comfortable lovemaking, perfectly encapsulated in this scene between Nicole (Connie Britton) and Mark (Steve Zahn). Mark has been trying to get his wife in the mood for days, but her girlboss CEO lifestyle is taking up all of her focus. It turns out that all it takes is him rescuing her from danger (aka an armed robbery) to finally get her blood pumping. Love, no complaints.

9. Jack and Quentin (Season 2, Episode 5)

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The thing about bad boys like Jack (Leo Woodall) is that they do bad things, and in this case, they do their ‘uncles’ too. Unlike season 3, this is a case of mistaken incest, as it turns out that Quentin (Tom Hollander) isn’t actually Jack’s uncle, and he was just hired to distract Portia (an easy task with those abs). But at the time, we didn’t know that, we just saw Jack giving it to Quentin from behind. Tanya was shocked by this discovery and struggled to tell Portia about her new man’s love for family time.

8. Paula and Kai (Season 1, Episode 5)

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Paula (Brittany O’Grady) meets Kai (Kekoa Kekumano) when she’s joining her friend’s family holiday, and the two become the cutest couple. They understand each other in a way that no one else around them does, and it’s such a gentle moment shared by two young lovers. The main thing they have in common is both hating the wealthy white tourists around them. But it soon goes downhill as they become accessories to a crime—yikes.

7. Lucia and Albie (Season 2, Episode 5)

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Look, it’s still wrong, she still shagged his dad in a menage-a-trois with her bestie, but… damn, it is a good sex scene. Lucia and Albie take things further than their previous oral encounter, and this time, they’re naked on those gorgeous white hotel sheets. We see Lucia riding him in the blue morning light all the way up until Albie climaxes. Combined with Lucia’s stunning singing at the same time, ugh, so good.

6. Harper and Ethan (Season 2, Episode 7)

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Any sex scene involving the AUBREY PLAZA is a win in our books. It’s the season 2 finale, and shit has gone down between Harper (Aubrey Plaza) and her hubby Ethan. But for the first time, they’re being honest with one another, and the result is that they finally get down and dirty. They seem to value each other more than ever despite the transgressions. It’s a sweet and simple lovemaking sesh, but one loaded with the past and their resolve to find a way forward.

5. Portia and Jack (Season 2, Episode 4)

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In all of the Tanya-related drama of season 2, it’s easy to forget Portia (Haley Lu Richardson) was even there. She’s found herself in a bit of a love triangle between Albie and Jack. Hmm… do you go for the smart, polite Ivy boy or the blonde, mischievous bad boy with a British accent? Let’s be real, it is Leo Fucking Woodall all the way. Portia clearly had no qualms about this choice, as she ended up under his glorious sculpted body in episode 4. The Brit models his “sexy underwear” for her before climbing on top. Phwoar.

4. Tanya and Nicolo (Season 2, Episode 6)

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Tanya deserved so much better than she got throughout her two seasons, so this brief sexual encounter with Nicolo (Stefano Gianino) was indeed a peak moment for her. She conveniently forgot about her dirtbag husband and enjoyed herself with this sexy stallion, who literally gets on his knees for her. All we know about Nicolo is that he’s a drug enthusiast with rumored connections to a local crime family. It’s a little ruined by the fact that it was all part of a plot to screw her out of her money and life… but at least she got a big O before the fact! And killed Nicolo—talk about un petit mort!

3. Armond and Lukas (Season 1, Episode 4)

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Any sex scene that starts with “Listen, I’m obsessed with you. I want to get you naked. What do I gotta do?” is gonna be a steamy one. Three days into his bender, hotel manager Armond (Murray Bartlett) is ready to get it on with surfer boy Dillon (Lukas Gage). We get to see some tight cheeks and Armond digging in before they are interrupted by Belinda and Shane (the worst). But those quick moments were worth it, and cemented it as one of the greatest The White Lotus sex scenes.

2. Harper and Cameron (Season 2, Episode 6)

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Before you get your panties in a twist or think you missed something, no, Harper and Cameron didn’t actually have sex on-screen. BUT Ethan grows extremely paranoid about the two of them and imagines this sweat-inducing session between them, and let’s just say we need a dip in the ocean to cool off afterward. Ethan’s imagination beats anything the two actually could’ve done together, as they only shared a measly kiss.

1. Mia and Valentina (Season 2, Episode 6)

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And now, for the best The White Lotus sex scene… Mia and Valentina (Sabrina Impacciatore). (I’m a sex-deprived bisexual, what did you expect?!) So Valentine has been Grumpy McGrump as she’s repressing her sexuality and feelings for a front desk agent named Isabella (Eleonora Romandini). She’s resigned herself to a life of loneliness until Mia (our fav bisexual local musician dabbling in prostitution) offers to be her girlfriend in exchange for a standing gig as the hotel bar performer. The two sneak away to an empty hotel suite, where Mia takes Valentine’s sapphic V-card and helps her accept her sexuality. Despite its transactional nature, the scene is tender and gentle and just represents so much about the queer journey in Italy. Not to mention the Marilyn Monroe-esque singing of ‘Happy Birthday.’ Molto bello!