Let’s be real: the divas are the best part of White Lotus. In season 1 and season 2, the diva I couldn’t stop watching was Jennifer Coolidge as Tanya McQuoid, everyone’s rich aunt who is somehow the most ridiculous yet iconic person at the same damn time. Now that season 3 of White Lotus is finally being delivered express from overseas, it looks like Natasha Rothwell’s (much more demure) bossy lady character, Belinda, is clocking in as the head diva in charge. Mike White’s vacation mystery series has pivoted to Southeast Asia and the pressure to break the season 3 curse has never been higher, TBH. Like, White Lotus is truly one of a handful of select television shows (like Severance for example) that gets the girls and gays in front of their TV for appointment television. So what can we expect from the third iteration of luxury chaos? Here’s the White Lotus season 3 teaser.
In the teaser, Belinda says she’s arriving in town for an exchange program from the original White Lotus Resort location, where we met her at in Hawaii. This time around, the rich family at the center of the drama appears to be played by Walton Goggins (Fallout, Justified) and Aimee Lou Wood (Sex Education) as his huge age gap relationship partner that I totally didn’t mistake for his daughter or anything at all… Walton complains about the resort’s food, so def keeping my eye on him considering anyone complaining about star Thai food is probably a nightmare. Later in the teaser, Walton’s cute little GF explains it’s kinda chill they almost died because their room got comped, so I’m betting they’re the victims of the robbers in white masks. Michelle Monaghan appears to be on a girls’ trip with Leslie Bibb, who shit-talks Michelle thriving on male attention with Carrie Coon (yikes, that sounds all too familiar for a big girlie vacation, unforch). The storyline quickly pivots to Parker Posey (who is making her first but already iconic appearance on the HBO series) complaining about how she is going to have to drink herself to sleep because the resort is so scary. Honestly, relatable, even when the resort isn’t full of murder and mayhem.
Image Credit: HBOwalton goggins aimee lou wood white lotus season 3
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At the Thailand location of the White Lotus Resort, a robbery happens. I suspect that Walter and Aimee Lou are the victims. In fact, I suspect multiple rich people get robbed throughout the series, which is why Parker Posey is pounding the tropical drinks because she worries she is next.
Image Credit: HBOcarrie coon michelle monaghan leslie bibb white lotus season 3
So far, the internet has drummed up a few theories, including that Tanya (Jennifer Coolidge) left Belinda her inheritance after all, as she dangled as a carrot back in season 1. (If you weren’t already aware Tanya is no longer with us, where the hell have you been?) I’m not thinking that’s the case though, since Belinda appears to be in Thailand for a work exchange program, but it’s still possible.
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Another theory? Someone dies. That’s basically a fact given we see a black body bag being rolled through the sand. My best guess? It’s not the attention whore played to perfection by Michelle Monaghan, as that would be too obvious. And it’s not Parker Posey, because I think she’ll be the new Tanya (RIP). It’s not Natasha Rothwell’s Belinda, because the audience would revolt or the couple because they survive the major drama and get a free room. That leaves Leslie Bibb, Carrie Coon, and a slew of male hotties including Patrick Schwarzenegger, Nicholas Duvernay and Sam Nivola.
