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Low-Stakes Housewives Beefs From The Good Old Days We Sorta Kinda Miss

After the past few years of high-intensity Real Housewives feuding that’s become so divisive our girls can’t even sit in a room together for a reunion, I think I speak for everyone when I say watching Bravo has become too high-stress of an activity. Between an entire season of the Vanderpump cast flopping, a Summer House reunion that sent basically the entire internet into a blind rage, and one little (big) shove that divided the RHONJ fandom into two unrelenting sides, I yearn for the days of yesteryear when bitches could fight and break bread in the same sitting. I’m a firm opponent of the negative nancies who insist that the institution of the Real Housewives won’t make it through this modern hyper-legal era, but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss the days when “she’s so pernicious” was the biggest insult of the week. As an ode to the classic 2000s era of Housewives (and hopefully, a manifestation exercise for more lighthearted shenanigans to come) here are all of our favorite vintage Bravo beefs we want back on our screens.

Best Vintage Bravo Beefs

Nene Leakes vs. Kandi Burruss

The Real Housewives of Atlanta
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When Nene and Kandi first met back when Kandi was working as Kim Zolciak’s producer, they didn’t hit it off, despite nothing catastrophic going wrong. They just always rubbed each other the wrong way, operating on two wildly different frequencies. Kandi’s being the no-nonsense country bumpkin vibe Mama Joyce instilled while Nene thrives as so nasty and so rude. Thanks to these two Atlanta legends bickering with each other for about ten seasons in a row, we have the incomparable catchphrase “I said what I said” to which I always expect to be met with “well, what you said is bullshit.”

Kyle Richard vs. Yolanda Hadid

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Kyle Yolanda Hadid Mauricio
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Very few Housewives have dared cross the self-appointed gatekeeper of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Kyle Richards, and lived to make it to another season (Carlton sweetie, I’m so sorry, you deserved more for accurately clocking Kyle’s tea). Yolanda, somehow, managed to escape that curse without breaking a sweat. Sure, Yolanda wasn’t perfect (we don’t have time to get into her extreme almond behavior) but her consistent choice to wield her Dutch judgment for the greater good of holding Doogie to her own “honest” standards was model behavior.

Carole Radziwill vs. Aviva Drescher

Carole Aviva Drescher RHONY
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Radzi and Aviva’s RHONY lovers-to-enemies plotline is far more satisfying than most romance novels. It’s like the Anger Inside Out character living in Aviva’s brain took over all of the controls the day Aviva randomly woke up to call Carole “writer girl”. Carole had to be goaded out of her shell but when she was forced to engage, the back and forth was the bitchy New York bickering of my dreams. Can we bring Aviva back to throw her leg some more?

Gretchen Rossi vs. Tamra Judge

Real Housewives of Orange County Gretchen Tamra Judge
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RHOC makes the battle of the blondes a regular thing, but this original blood feud in pastel pink is one for the books. There were unethical alcohol-related pranks, wild accusations against Gretchen’s deadbeat zaddy Slade, and high-pitched name-calling during reunions. And the best part was that at the drop of a hat, they’d suddenly enter a tentative truce to take down a bigger bad (e.g. Alexis Bellino). According to their social media sparring, the feud still lives on. If Jesus Jugs is allowed back on our screens, then why not Gretchen Christine?

Ramona Singer vs. Heather Holla Thomspon

Ramona Singer Heather Thomspon RHONY
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The Singer Stinger is problematic AF but I can’t lie, I still miss her sometimes. A broken clock is right twice a day, and during season 7 of The Real Housewives of New York Ramona’s clock was always pointed at Heather Holla Thompson’s aggressive student council president antics. Ramona’s impression of Heather’s alarming smile lives in my head rent-free for now until forever.

Marysol Patton vs. Larsa Pippen

The Real Housewives of Miami Larsa Marysol
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Way before The Real Housewives of Miami reboot, before Larsa was crowned Product Pushin Pippin, she was annoying the queen of cockys with her trophy wife behavior. Anyone who comes for Mama Elsa is not a friend of mine, or Marysol’s. Since we are blessed enough to have both Marysol and Larsa back for the current (perfect) cast of RHOM, I’m going to kindly request that Marysol delays hitting the sauce until after she fulfills her job requirements by calling out Larsa’s childish reactionary behavior. I’m sure Alexia will be more than happy to help.

 

Marissa Dow
Marissa Dow
MARISSA is a trending news writer at Betches. She's more than just another pop-culture-addicted-east-coaster-turned-LA-transplant...she's also an upcoming television writer and aspiring Real Housewife (whichever comes first). Live, laugh, balegdah.