recipes

In keeping with all things warm, sunny, tan, and refreshing, we need dranks!

If somehow in the course of your Facebook/Snapchat/Pinterest/Instagram travels you’ve missed a metric fuck-ton of frosé recipes, consider yourself a homeschooled jungle freak.

Summer is a time when you and your furry friends are feeling the struggle.

Are you tired of detoxing after long celebrations which claim not only your sanity but your super flat belly and flawless skin?

Ah, July 4th—a holiday created so that Americans can fondly remember the time they threw off the yoke of tyranny and oppression so they could do whatever the fuck they wanted including ditching British accents, eating hot dogs, and electing a president not at all qualified to do his job.

With America turning another year older, we needed a fucking patriotic cocktail.

So, like, summer is officially here, and somehow I don’t have the bikini body of Gigi Hadid despite working super hard on not eating and only drinking vodka sodas.