There comes a point in every betch's life when she realizes she needs to stop acting like a serial Bachelor contestant and get serious about not dying alone.
Since we’ve practically been able to walk, we’ve been tricked into some serious romance fuckery that modern-day love stories always pan out like the end of a Disney movie—as if Prince Charming would actually search every apartment up and down all of Brooklyn for the woman who perfectly fits into the shoe she left on a date.
As much as we’d love to act like we can eat at trendy restaurants year-round, sometimes we need our parents' help to support our expensive taste (and obsession with finding Amy Schumer at Carbone).
Every betch has experienced this moment online dating: you swipe right, he swipes right, you get to talking and he doesn’t immediately seem like the type of person who would wear your skin as a suit.
