Another day, another unnecessary opinion getting posted on the internet. I can say that, as someone whose unnecessary opinions get posted on the internet all the time. In my case, they tend to trend towards things like the pivotal Best Kiss Award at the 2005 VMAs or why Love Island is the most important show in the history of television. You know, harmless stuff. But in the case of English journalist Tanya Gold, unnecessary opinions tend to include things like campaigning against a sports brand for having the audacity to show some love to a criminally neglected audience: plus-size women.
In an piece for The Telegraph titled “Obese mannequins are selling women a dangerous lie,” Tanya Gold rails against Nike for the inclusion of plus-size mannequins in their flagship London store. Except, according to Gold, these human-shaped crimes against humanity are not just plus-size: “the new Nike mannequin is not size 12, which is healthy, or even 16 – a hefty weight, yes, but not one to kill a woman. She is immense, gargantuan, vast. She heaves with fat.”
“She heaves with fat” is the kind of thing I whisper while I watch my cat try to climb onto the windowsill in my bedroom, but yes it’s also a totally acceptable thing for a grown woman to say about an inanimate object built to showcase clothing.
Hey @Telegraph #tanyagold this plus size athlete has run 5 marathons, an Olympic triathlon, 2 tough mudders, a 42 mile ultramarathon and hundreds of other races and ALL in this Fat size 18 body!! If you are ever in need of some coaching to help you with your worthyness call me!!! pic.twitter.com/RWZBW1B1Vj
— Too Fat to Run? (@Fattymustrun) June 10, 2019
Before diving into this mess of bigotry masquerading as concern, let’s get something straight really quick. The plus-size mannequin, while an inclusive and realistic representation of many women and a progressive step in the fashion industry, is first and foremost a savvy business decision. Nike launched a plus-size collection in 2017. Since the addition of these mannequins, searches of “Nike” and “plus size” have sky-rocketed. As a brand that is no stranger to using controversial statements to boost sales, a move like this shouldn’t surprise anyone.
Does any of that negate the positive effect these mannequins have had on women who finally feel like they’re being catered to by one of the world’s biggest brands? That’s a conversation for another day. (But the answer is no, it doesn’t.)
After insulting the plastic person that has apparently ruined her life, Gold pivots to her apparent hatred of the advertising industry, complete with a quote from Don Draper. You know an argument is about to be relevant when it’s building its foundation on a TV show that ended four years ago.
“Advertising has always bullied women, but this is something more insidious.” As someone who works in advertising, I find this line of attack equal parts tired and one-dimensional. But we don’t even have time to focus on that argument before Gold starts listing all of the different body-ideals foisted upon women by the media, ranging from “the spindly, starved creature” to “the Kim Kardashian.”
It’s no secret that women are held to an unrealistic beauty standard, one that has a tendency to drastically impact our entire lives. But using that idea as a basis to justify fat-shaming is both hilarious and misguided. This woman got so turned around in her own logic that she stumble onto a trail leading towards actual rational thought.
You see, somehow, on the way to her argument as to why overweight mannequins shouldn’t be allowed in public, Gold has outlined the very reason that they serve as a beacon of hope to so many: because they’ve never been featured there before. That plus-size mannequin is standing proudly (or as proudly as she can being headless and also not alive) next to a size two mannequin in a major location of a global brand. That’s a big deal for a lot of people, which naturally means someone had to try and tear it down.
But Gold is too busy to notice that because she’s out here, leading a crusade against everything from Nike to the advertising industry to porn to video games to Kim Kardashian for unfairly dictating women’s appearances….all while writing an op-ed attempting to unfairly dictate women’s appearances.
“I would never want a woman to hate herself for what she finds in the looking-glass,” says Gold. Unless that woman is overweight and looking for athletic clothes to wear so that she can perhaps change that fact. Or to lounge in around the house because they’re comfortable. Or to wear because she’s a f*cking human and is allowed to buy overpriced athleisure just like the rest of us.
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but overweight people need workout clothes, too. Just because someone is large does not mean they are unhealthy. Big women can run marathons and lift weights and do sports and live their lives and perhaps punch women who try to tell them otherwise in the face if they are so inclined. And even if they are unhealthy, it’s not up to some woman with a word processor and access to a short-sighted editor to decide what they get to wear.
Wow @Telegraph – nice job with the Tanya Gold click bait. I look like that @nike mannequin, and I’ve done a 10k, a half, & a marathon this year. And there’s another 10k & a half coming up. If you think obese women can’t run you’ve clearly been living under a rock. pic.twitter.com/Pb2rFM5sRd
— Tegwen Tucker (@tegwentucker) June 9, 2019
Perhaps it never occurred to Gold that these mannequins, this kind of mainstream representation from a fitness brand, could give overweight people the confidence to actually start exercising. The road to wellness is daunting and overwrought with obstacles as is, God forbid Nike try and make it a little smoother for people who are already inclined to avoid it.
Gold’s outrage is built upon the fact that this “fat acceptance” movement will stop overweight people from trying to change their lifestyle, but she also doesn’t want to give them the means to do so. Almost sounds like she cares less about their well-being and more about being an intolerant asshole.
TL;DR: Hate Nike? Then don’t shop at Nike. Hate plus-size people? Then don’t be plus-size. But also maybe try not being a giant piece of sh*t while you’re at it.
Images: Twitter (@tegwentucker, @Fattymustrun)
Swimsuit season is upon us, and I for one am thrilled for the chance to shop for yet another one to fill up my already-clogged closet. (It’s not my fault; New York City apartments have notoriously small storage.) In addition to wearing swimsuits to the pool, I’m all about a bathing suit that can be transitioned. Sure, it’s not necessary, but it’s an added bonus if I can buy a swimsuit and wear that as a festival outfit (which I will be doing all next weekend at Shaky Beats, for anyone who cares). The problem, of course, is that we as a society are lazy and don’t want to spend hours at Macy’s or wherever or combing the internet. So I’ve done you the courtesy of finding a bunch of brands that you didn’t know make super cute (and often very affordable) bathing suits. Prepare to be shocked.
I know, it’s shocking, but Nike actually has some of the cutest swimsuits around, and the reason I love them so much are that you can wear these as more than just swimsuits. Anyone who knew me in Atlanta circa 2015 knows that one of my favorite pastimes was to see how far I could push the definition of “crop top”. Like, I had a few bathing suits I would wear out to bars, and nobody said sh*t to me. Many of Nike’s spring swimsuits fall right into this category, and can be worn as tops, bodysuits, etc. Of course, since they’re made by Nike, you also can swim in them without fearing they will fall apart. As an extra bonus, many of the pieces are reversible, so you can get so many wears out of them. I’m obsessed.
Nike Flash Reversible Crossback Bikini Top
Nike Shine Stripe Crossback Midi
Maaji is a Colombian swimwear line that recently launched in the U.S. Most of their pieces are super colorful and fun, and they have so many different silhouettes that aren’t just the regular triangle bikini we’re all sick of seeing. But here’s the big deal with Maaji: all of their suits in their newest line are reversible—two ways. That means you can wear them fowards, backwards, inside out, and inside out and backwards. So you’re getting four different suits in one. It’s legit incredible.
Maaji Mandarin Dazzling
To put it into perspective, all those photos are of THE SAME SUIT. Literally.
No, that’s not a typo, and no, it’s not a mistake. Victoria’s Secret’s swimwear is BACK, baby, by popular demand (I assume, since we were all basically crying when it got discontinued). Thank f*cking god. From cute separates you can mix and match to sexy one-pieces, they have so much good sh*t at very reasonable prices (and plenty of other suits at higher price points, but I’m not made of money). I’m talking bikini tops for under $50. They’ve also got one piece options for under $100, which doesn’t sound like a deal, but really is if you spend like, five minutes researching how much bathing suits go for these days.
Victoria’s Secret Zip V-Neck One Piece
Victoria’s Secret Asymmetric One-Shoulder Bralette & Asymmetric Cut-Out Hipster
All you Target-loving betches, rejoice. Target’s swimwear has been killing it for years now, and they just introduced a new line called Kona Sol that boasts inclusive sizing and good quality swimwear. Oh, and amazing prices. Like, a one piece for $40? Sign me up; I’ll take 10.
Kona Sol Women’s Plus Size Twist Front Cut Out One Piece Swimsuit
Kona Sol Women’s Faux Wrap Halter Bikini Top
If you are not yet a believer of aerie, you need to get on board with their swimsuits (but really, why don’t you own 60 of their bras already?!). As far as swimwear goes, they offer very cute basics as well as fun, flirty patterns at super affordable prices—I’m talking a bikini top for $25 (and up). Many of these pieces can also transition from the pool to a music festival, or wherever else besides a body of water that you might wear a bathing suit.
Aerie Ribbed Side Scoop Bikini Top
Aerie Crochet Triangle Bikini Top
Curvy Beach, brainchild of former plus-size model Elizabeth Taylor, offers suits in sizes 4 to 26 and cup sizes A through J. It was initially such a big hit that its first line of swimsuits sold out in 24 hours, so you’ll have to act quickly if you want to get your hands on one of these size-inclusive neon suits. Also, and I think this is crazy revolutionary, their site instructs you on how to order (like what situations you’d want to size down), and the padding is optional. Thank you. What a miracle.
Curvy Beach Neon Triangle Top
Curvy Beach Neon Side Tie Bottom
Okay, so this brand is a little more expensive than some of the others, and speaking for myself, these silhouettes are a little more aspirational. Like, think lots of strappy and cheeky looks. If you can pull that off, I’m jealous, but I’d look like a sausage in casing. But they’re so cute! Ugh, it pains me. It’s fine, I’m fine. In any case, these come in fun colors, and all their suits are made from ECONYL yarn and 100% regenerated nylon made from ocean waste and fishing nets, so even if they’re not the most sustainable for your budget, they are sustainable for the environment, and that’s all the justification I need to go buy a few.
Indigo Swimwear The Amelia Top & The Amelia Bottom
Indigo Swimwear The Bay Top & The Bay Bottom
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Every year, on December 31, just before the clock strikes midnight and you’re preparing to chug a bottle of champagne, you vow that this is the year you finally get in shape. Never mind that you’ll probably wake up tomorrow and completely forget WTF happened on NYE, let alone say “no” to that leftover Chinese take-out in your fridge. I know, because like, me too. Diet starts in 2019, amiright? But for those of you who believe that eighth time’s a charm, here are some fitness apps to help you get that New Year’s body. It’s time to use your phone for something other than cyber-stalking your ex and his new girlfriend.
Sworkit hit it big on Shark Tank when Mark Cuban invested $1.5 million in the company. At one point the app was free, but now they’re charging $29.99 a quarter or $79.99 a year. They may sound like greedy f*cks, but they’re actually the cheapest option of the paid apps on this list. Sworkit has a bunch of fans, averaging an impressive five stars on the App Store. With the price you pay, you get access to a trainer who can answer all your burning fitness questions. That’s kinda cool if you’re lonely and bored of bugging Siri or the personal trainer you’re hooking up with. Also, Sworkit utilizes only bodyweight moves (no equipment) so you can literally do their workouts anywhere. That means if you’re looking for an app to use in the gym, you have better options. In order to utilize all the equipment, keep reading.
MoveWith is like having a personal fitness class right on your phone. A lot of the most popular trainers from boutique studios around the country are coaches on this app. Basically, you get a similar workout for a fraction of the price and in the comfort of your own home or gym. The workouts range from yoga to HIIT to weightlifting to guided meditation. They even have life talks, so clearly the variety is insane. You can choose which body parts you feel like working on, and the amount of time you have to work out. The trainers’ voiceovers also make it sound like they’re right there with you, yelling in your ear. Very realistic and motivating for those of us who need to feel a little fear to get moving. Depending on the class you choose, you might need some gym equipment. This app isn’t free, though, and will cost you $12.99/month or $95.99/year.
DailyBurn is not good for commitment-phobes. Instead of starting a workout, the app makes you start programs that last 8 weeks *nervous laughter*. I’m here for a good time, not a long time. But for those of you who need that kind of structure, this app is for you. Each program also comes with its own nutrition guidelines and meal plan to make sure you really see the results. The thought of all this commitment and cooking is giving me hives, low-key, so let’s wrap this up. Once again, this app is not free and will cost you $19.95/month.
4. Nike Training Club
Finally, a free app. Thanks, Nike! Although, I really do spend way too much money on your shoes anyway. I’ll consider this just a mild favor from you to me. This app allows you to pick individual workouts or set a plan that is tailored to your goals. You can choose if you want to do no equipment or full equipment workouts. All that is cool and whatever, but the main reason I am downloading this app is because it lets you workout alongside side Nike sponsored athletes. That means celebrities like Serena Williams, Kevin Hart, Michael B. Jordan, and Cristiano Ronaldo will be sweating it out with you. This is like the ultimate workout porn. If self-love can’t get me to exercise, then the thought of Michael B. Jordan’s abs f*cking can.
Do I know how to pronounce the name of this app? No. Do I use it? Semi-regularly. My ex-boyfriend introduced me to Jefit, and to this day I maintain that it is the only positive thing to come out of that year-long nightmare. But I’ll save the details for my therapist. If you want to tone up but are too afraid to venture into the weight machines section of the gym, Jefit is the app for you. You can search basically any machine in existence and it will explain how to use it with written instructions and an accompanying gif. It also does the same for many free weight exercises, if you’ve ever wanted, for instance, to learn how to do a barbell deadlift without breaking your lower back. It also has preset workouts for each muscle group (think abs day, chest and triceps day, etc.). And the best part: it’s free. Download Jefit and you just might be posting memes about “when you skip leg day” in no time. Change your name to Tyler, effective immediately.
Okay, MyFitnessPal is so popular that I had to include it on the list, but this app’s main function isn’t even really about exercise. It is a virtual food diary so you can stay on top of your intake. If you purchase the premium version, you can also add in your exercise so that it can calculate your expenditure. The forums and message boards give you that community feel if you’re into chatting with random strangers on the internet (and honestly… strangers on the forum board are way quicker to congratulate you on losing two pounds than your bestie over there putting out wine and a cheese plates). There are no exercises or workout plans for you here, though, so maybe use this with another one of the apps above to really stay on top of things.
Images: Nathan Cowley/Pexels; Giphy (2)
Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock you’ve probably heard about the backlash Nike has received over choosing former pro Quarterback turned political activist Colin Kaepernick as the face of their “Just Do It” campaign. Since then people have been burning their Nike shoes and cutting the famous swosh off of their socks. (Why not just like…buy new socks instead? Who wants to wear socks with the brand cut off?) The mayor of Kenner, Louisiana decided to go one step further and released a memorandum banning Nike in his town.
WTF Is This memo?
Kenner’s Mayor Zahn sent a memo to
Leslie Knope The Department of Parks and Recreation stating, “Under no circumstances will any Nike product or any product with the Nike logo be purchased for use or delivery at any City of Kenner Recreation Facility.” This memo was never meant for the public to see (pro tip: every memo is a public memo now that the internet exists) but it was made public just days after its September 5th release. Cue a bunch of angry towns people, but minus the pitch forks and sub in some New Orleans Saints players repping Nike to support the town. Mayor Zahn claims that he did it to ensure that the taxpayer dollars weren’t going to be supporting a politically charged campaign, so that their money can be neutral. Nice try at a coverup, bro. Sadly for Mayor Zahn, the town cannot stop people from wearing their own Nike apparel in public, talk about freedom!
Why Are People Pissed?
In case you look forward to Sunday’s for Kardashian episodes and not football, Kaepernick is now known for taking a knee during the National Anthem at a preseason game while on the 49ers. That is how the whole debate over whether or not it is unpatriotic to protest during the National Anthem by peacefully taking a knee got started. The Mayor of Kenner has spoken out against the movement (he literally goes to football games and yells “IN KENNER WE STAND FOR THE ANTHEM!”) so no one is surprised that he was upset with Nike’s Kaepernick campaign. That Mayor Kenner clearly has no f*cking chill.
Why Are Players Taking A Knee?
The trend of kneeling in protest during the National Anthem started, but most certainly has not ended, with Kaeperknick. The act is meant to call attention to the rapid rate at which young black men are being killed at the hands of police forces in America. Now the issue has been turned into a b*tch slap in the face to the armed forces and America as a whole, despite the fact that the protest has literally nothing to do with the armed forces at all. While Kaeperknick may have landed the Nike campaign, he first had to give up his football career to stand by his beliefs. He refused to stand and the NFL ultimately black listed him, giving us some serious Rosa Parks vibes. The debate over this act has bubbled into elections and Texas’s Democratic Senate Candidate, Beto (pronounced “bae-to”)O’Rourke has the best answer to this divisive topic. Watch out Lyin’ Cruz!
Either way, Nike has made cash money since the campaign released even if stocks have taken a hit. As far as Kenner is concerned members of the City Council are looking to reverse the memo and chances are it won’t last long.
Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 5x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain all the news of the week in a hilarious af way. Because if we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!
If you smell smoke this morning, no you didn’t leave your straightener on (but, girl, double check) you’re probably just in the vicinity of a lunatic who is burning their Nike sneakers. Why is someone burning Nike sneakers they already paid for, you might ask. Oh, because football. Duh. Yesterday Nike launched a new advertisement with Colin Kaepernick that read “Believe in something, even if it means sacrificing everything.” Yesterday Nike launched a new advertisement with Colin Kaepernick that read “Believe in something, even if it means sacrificing everything.” Obviously, this is hugely offensive.
First the @NFL forces me to choose between my favorite sport and my country. I chose country. Then @Nike forces me to choose between my favorite shoes and my country. Since when did the American Flag and the National Anthem become offensive? pic.twitter.com/4CVQdTHUH4
— Sean Clancy (@sclancy79) September 3, 2018
Umm…remind me who is supposed to be the “snowflake” here again? Quick re-Kaep (see what I did there?): Colin Kaepernnick is a former NFL Quarterback for the 49er’s who decided to kneel for the National Anthem in protest of unfair treatment and violence against African Americans by the state. Since taking a stand, or literally, taking a knee, he’s been released from the 49er’s and no team will hire him. If this were the Mean Girls universe, Kaepernick would be a mathelete, aka he committed “social suicide.”
Believe in something, even if it means sacrificing everything. #JustDoIt pic.twitter.com/SRWkMIDdaO
— Colin Kaepernick (@Kaepernick7) September 3, 2018
Nike choosing to partner with him has caused football loving “patriots” to all become arsonists and burn their Nike gear. Some have cut off the Nike logo from their apparel. None of these American heroes realize that they’ve already purchased Nike gear and destroying them after the fact doesn’t hurt Nike in any way.
Our Soundman just cut the Nike swoosh off his socks. Former marine. Get ready @Nike multiply that by the millions. pic.twitter.com/h8kj6RXe7j
— John Rich (@johnrich) September 3, 2018
.@Nike Due to your support of C.K. in your coming adds, I as an American can no longer support your company. #boycottNike #IStandForOurFlag pic.twitter.com/5JxSMD8SSO
— AlterAtYeshiva (@alteratyeshiva) September 4, 2018
Of course, while the backlash is making a louder ruckus, a ton of people are also like “yas, go Nike!” and supporting the company’s endorsement of a patriotic dissenter. The company’s stocks are down 2% today, but admittedly I do not understand what that means and feel confident no one will be talking about this in 2-5 business days. Also, Colin, congrats on getting that paycheck.
Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 5x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain all the news of the week in a hilarious af way. Because if we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!
As much as Christian bloggers wish otherwise, leggings are here to stay. They’re comfy, fashionable, and they make our asses look great (/existent), what’s not to love? But there’s nothing more embarrassing than rolling up to brunch in the same leggings you worked out in… and slept in… and wore to work the day before. I mean, okay, I can think of a few more embarrassing things just by quickly recalling my adolescence, but that’s not the point. The point is, you need to buy some new leggings, and what better time to do so than with spring right around the corner? This season’s all about pastel colors, cute color-blocking, and interesting cutouts. We rounded up the cutest workout leggings that you just need to add to your leggings drawer.
1. Outdoor Voices Tri-Tone Legging
Outdoor Voices leggings are kinda becoming the new Stan Smiths, but the seasonal yellow shades are low-key amazing. Get the matching top to look like your favorite SoulCycle instructor.
2. Koral Western Legging
LOVE the coral/peach color on these—it’s like, the most on-trend shade for workout leggings rn—and I love how they’re sleek without being overly shiny in a tacky way. The lining is super trendy, too. Honestly these are my favorites. Should I stop now?
3. Adidas By Stella McCartney, Yoga Seamless Tight Spacedye
These are sick. A little colorful, but not in an offensive way. Pair it with a plain white or navy tank so you don’t assault anyone’s eyeballs with an overly busy outfit.
4. Gymshark Women Ombre Seamless Leggings
Again with the pink. Very in this season. Also, ombre is totally back, but like, just for workout leggings right now—still not for your hair. It was a bad call in 2013, and it’s a bad call today.
Varley Justin Tight
The vintage rose color on these workout leggings is so trendy, and the little detailed cutouts are amazing. May need the matching sports bra too.
Image: Marion Michele / Unsplash
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There are plenty of things that OG Betch Blair Waldorf would love to complain about in the year 2017. For example, she’d never use Snapchat filters and would probably yell at Dorota for playing around with them. Another thing she’d totally hate is the athleisure trend. Queen B (the other Queen B…) would never be caught dead in a sports bra. However, she’d probably just have to learn to deal with it because athleisure is literally the only way it’s socially acceptable to wear headbands anymore. Unless you’re like, a super bohemian chick, headbands just don’t hold up your wardrobe like they did in 2008. Here are a few workout headbands to keep your hair out of your face during spin class, or just while you’re elbow deep in a Chipotle burrito, wearing clothes designed
for exercise for their stretching capabilities.
1. Nike Women’s Logo Twist Headband
Can you already see yourself wearing this with a messy bun to get an Iced Green Tea Latte at Starbucks next time you’re too hungover to know your own name? I can. You look good. (All things considered.)
2. Lululemon Fly Away Tamer Headband II
You probably already have 100 of these anyway, but Lulu is the real MVP and releases new colors and prints all of the time. This new black-and-white daisy print is so cute. You should probably get two because your roommate will definitely take one.
3. American Eagle AEO Retro Sweatband
This probably does like, literally nothing for you while you’re exercising, but you never do that anyway, so what’s the point? I kind of hate this, but I feel like I vaguely remember Bella Hadid, Hailey Baldwin, or some other random famous chick who can convince me to wear ugly shit rocking one. If you’re the kind of girl who actually looks good in Brandy Melville’s one size fits all shit, you can probably pull something weird like this off.
4. Athleta Colorblock Vital Headband
Athleta made this headband out of a super lightweight fabric that holds down flyaway hairs without like, literally flying away itself. This is awesome, because lightweight headbands help prevent the headband/ponytail headaches that totally ruin lives. Now you only need to pop Advil for your hangover.
5. Adidas Stronger Headband
This headband is kind of like the one friend you have who never blacks out, because it might just be the most functional one on this list. It’s made out of fabric with wicking capabilities to help deal with sweat. If you’re the kind of betch who doesn’t want to let a workout get in the way of your blowout lasting a few days, this should def help do the trick.