festivals

As we all know by now, Ja Rule is in a bit of legal trouble due to the fact that his “luxury music festival” turned out to be turned out to be more of a Lord of The Flies type situation wherein rich millennials were trapped on an island for days with no food or water.

Well, we all knew it would happen eventually.

It's festival season and you're probs still recovering from the gallons few responsible sips of Fireball you drank at Coachella.

If you have an Instagram, you’ve probably heard of the Fyre Festival, a luxury music festival organized by Ja Rule that promised “two transformative weekends” on a luxury island in the Bahamas that was “once owned by Pablo Escobar.” Tickets for the fest ranged anywhere from $4,000 to a $250k VIP package and attendees were promised private beaches, luxury accommodations, gourmet food, and live music from artists including Blink 182, Lil Yachty, and Migos.

There are two types of people on Thursday: the ones who say they're only going for a few happy hour drinks and end up blacking out and calling in sick to work on Friday, and lame "responsible" people.

Coachella weekend two was about as star-studded as the last bat mitzvah you attended, which kind of sucks for anyone who had shit to do besides dehydrate in the desert and was counting on scrolling through celebrity Instagram posts to ease the FOMO.

Much like blacking out at the pregame, having a dead phone is one of the fastest, most effective ways to ruin a night out.