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An Official Ranking Of The 'Summer House: Martha's Vineyard' Couples

Season 2 of the Bravo’s most entertaining spinoff (yes, I’m including The Valley) has brought romance to Martha’s Vineyard in full force. While much of the Summer House crew was single last summer, a few couples have claimed a spot on the communal bunkbeds (seriously, how are the guys living like that?) and their addition has brought a lot more couple-sized drama with it. That of course hasn’t stopped our OG couples from making waves, either (though it’s nothing compared to the relationship mayhem in the Hamptons). So who are you stanning? Jasmine and Silus are having a baby so it feels kind of rude to not pick them. But Bria and Simon could probably have a private jet charted Singapore to swim with millionaire dolphins or something as we speak and don’t tell me that’s not tempting. And Nick and Tasia…wait are they even still together? Enough pontificating, let’s get into a good ol’ ruthless ranking of the Summer House: Martha’s Vineyard couples.

#5: Nick and Tasia

Nick Arrington and Tasia on 'Summer House: Martha's Vineyard'
Image Credit: Bravo

After a second season of whipsers about Nick’s wandering eyes (and hands) it should be no surprise to find these two clocking in last. To be totally fair to Nick, I do think he took his friends’ humble advice to keep it a little more PG on board the first time he was told and he probably didn’t need a second public humiliation in front of Tasia. But it still had to feel pretty awful being the girlfriend everyone is worried for. That is… if Tasia is still Nick’s girlfriend? Her IG has gone to private and it seems like all the pictures of her you’d expect to see on Nick’s are missing. I’m not positive if Nick and Tasia just broke up but if they did ahead of season 3 filming is it too soon to say I told you so?

#4: Jasmine and Silas

Jasmine and Silas are coming in a respectful fourth place low-key because it felt wrong to put a pregnant person last but also because this next step in their relationship means things are hopefully headed in the right direction for these two. Jasmine is glowing and there’s no doubt doubt she’s going to be a fantastic mother, even if Silas is still figuring out how to be her partner and not her parent that bosses her around. I get the traditional couple dynamic is what a lot of people want, I just hope Jasmine is also getting what she needs out of that relationship, too.

#3: Amir and Natalie

The amount of simping Natalie makes Amir do to keep her is both excessive and iconic. Amir was already a puppy dog before he met his new fiery girlfriend, but now he’s definitely on a tight leash who’s trained to jump at the words “my girlfriend!”. That being said they look hot together, have fun together, and ride for each other. Amir’s not afraid to eloquently stand up for his lady in front of everyone (even when she’s aggressively stirring the pot during her brief 72 hour stint “on island”).

#2: Preston and Donald

 

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The only complaint I have about Preston and Donald is I need to see more of them. These two have the type of love that makes you want to abandon the streets for good. Donald seems like the perfect laid back balance to Preston’s party planner personality and they’re both the voice of reason/clean up crew after a night when the rest of the house gets a little too turnt. I just know their forthcoming wedding celebration is going to be the ulta-curated city meets The South nuptials we’ll be eating up on social media. Or can we get Andy and a camera? Even better.

#1: Bria and Simon

 

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It is a reality show after all so as much as we love love, we also love ridiculous drama and excessive luxury which is why Bria and Simon have ranked in at #1. Simon knows how to party and Bria knows exactly how to bring him back to earth in two seconds flat. They’re basically the perfect buddy comedy duo, and Milo is their little (poorly trained) sidekick. These two are reality gold, and if Bravo knows what’s good for them they’ll figure out a way to capture Bria and Simon’s non-stop international adventures ASAP because we, the fans, are dying to see it.

Marissa Dow
Marissa Dow
MARISSA is a trending news writer at Betches. She's more than just another pop-culture-addicted-east-coaster-turned-LA-transplant...she's also an upcoming television writer and aspiring Real Housewife (whichever comes first). Live, laugh, balegdah.