Everything is expensive these days — I mean, have you seen the price of eggs lately? So I can totally understand if the thought of blowing almost $100 on a vibrator seems like too much of an expense. And even though I am a big advocate of investing in your sexual pleasure, the truth is you do not need to spend money to get off. I know this may sound prehistoric, but masturbating can still be pretty amazing using just your fingers.
Like sex expert Dr. Emily Morse once tweeted, “Masturbation without a toy is like enjoying music on an acoustic guitar.” And sometimes we want an unplugged session!!!
I know, flicking the bean manually sounds like a lot of labor. And sometimes, we’re so used to letting a vibrator do the work that we don’t know how to do it the old fashioned way (aka using your fingers). Now, I’m a big champion of sex toys — I have a large collection that’s still growing. But I also recognize the importance of going back to the basics. Sometimes, if all you’re doing is using vibrators, you could be robbing yourself of the chance to connect with your body and work on having a more mindful masturbation experience. Vibrators are cool and all but getting to know what sorts of touch you like down there is what’s really going to help you have better sex going forward.
Okay, so you’re on board to go old school with it… but, where do you start? If you need help figuring out how to masturbate sans sex toy, we got you covered.
First, Grab The Lube
Whether you use a toy or not, lube is your best friend. Sure, you may be naturally lubricated but the wetter, the better. Plus, it’ll help you do some deep-diving exploring.
Don’t Go Straight To The Clit
Okay, you know how to make yourself orgasm. But the point isn’t just to get in there and get it done. Let your fingers explore other parts of your body and your vagina. Caress yourself and then slowly get to where it feels good.
Find A Rhythm You Like
Once you do get to the clitoris, don’t just start DJing like crazy. Start building up pressure by starting off slow and figuring out what kinds of strokes you like. If you notice an orgasm building, keep going — but don’t speed up just yet.
Try Edging Yourself
You can make yourself have a more powerful orgasm if you edge yourself a little. In Dr. Morse’s Smart Sex: How To Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure, she describes a scale of 1-10, 10 being an orgasm. She suggests getting yourself to a 5, and then stopping. Then, a 7 and then stopping, and then an 8 or a 9. The point is the build anticipation until you can’t take it anymore and then that’s when you let yourself finish. Your orgasm will be that much stronger (and hotter).
Use Both Hands
Whether to you this means using the other hand on your nipple or using it to penetrate yourself while the other hand stays on your clit — go nuts with it. But having the extra help is going to make the experience that much better.
