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Image Credit: Atlantic Records

How To Be The Next 'Hot Internet Girl' According To Charli XCX, Julia Fox, And Other It Girls

Charli XCX and the It Girls for the chronically online are on the hunt for the “new hot internet girl.” So, um, where do I apply?

In the music video teaser for Charli XCX’s song“360″ the girlies meet at a restaurant to fulfill the prophecy of finding the next hot internet girl, “or else our kind will cease to exist,” according to fellow internet hot girl Chloe Cherry.

“Yeah, it’s terrible,” Rachel Sennott drawls, channeling her self-obsessed character in Bodies, Bodies, Bodies. When Charlie XCX suggests the woman chugging wine at the end of the table, Rachel patronizes, “Oh, Charlie, that’s literally Julia Fox.”

The roster goes hard with Julia Fox, Rachel Sennott, Gabbriette, Chloe Cherry, and Richie Shazam. (Sadly, we’re missing Alex Corsani, the internet’s current hyperfixation, but I’m sure we’ll see her on TikTok later.) When else will we have so many thought leaders in one place? Certainly not the U.N. Hence, I did the due diligence of taking notes of what it takes to be a hot internet girl in a few simple steps so that girlies everywhere have a chance to go viral for bleaching their eyebrows. A girl can dream.

✅ Have a certain “je ne sais quoi” situation going on 

Translated literally, “je ne sais quoi” means, “I don’t know what.” It’s so chic, yet so meaningless. Perhaps a metaphor for internet culture.

✅ Be really hot in a ~ scary way ~

The scary part is important. Hot people are so boring! You want to be weird hot — like how Jeremy Allen White kinda looks like a bird but has half the population willing to destroy their life for him. You get it. And if you don’t, c’est la vie. (Wow, there’s a weird amount of French in this article.)

✅ Be known, but at the same time * unknowable *

I want to see your photos on a streetstyle account run by a guy who thinks Williamsburg is the epicenter of the universe. But make sure you’re tagged! How else am I going to hyperfixate on you?

✅ Maintain “totally waiter-vibes” 

If I had to elaborate on Rachel Sennott’s words of wisdom, the internet loves a hot girl who looks like she’s working really hard at something. “I can’t wait to tell you guys more about this project I’m working on” is a common catchphrase. This isn’t like a necessity, per say, but it did work out for the waiter in Charlie’s music video. Does anyone have her Insta handle btw? Kinda want to follow her.

Melanie Whyte
Melanie Whyte
Melanie Whyte (she/her) leads the lifestyle and relationship content at Betches. As an amateur New Yorker and professional bisexual, she enjoys writing about the bane of sex and relationships in the city. She is also perpetually in her messy house era despite spending all of her money on Instagram ads.