Sex education in America is abysmal. If it wasnât for watching Juno a million times, I wouldnât know how to put a condom on a banana (true story). But more importantly, health class missed one crucial part of the curriculum: sexting. And Iâm not just talking about sending an eggplant emoji and calling it a day. Behind every emoji is a secret, kinky world. You mightâve been walking around texting the cowboy hat face emoji to your grandma without realizing itâs the equivalent of coming out as a closeted bisexual. Humiliating!!! But have no fear. I have a very serious analysis of commonly used emojis to help you better understand your own desires. Hereâs a breakdown of your sex personality based on your favorite emoji.
đ€ â Chronic masturbator and/or Italian (because you use your hands a lot!!!!)
đ«Ą â You think your a top but youâre a bottom
đŠ â Overpromises, under delivers
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đ„Č â Praise kink
đ€š â Top
đ„ș â Bottom
đ â Service top who gets sweaty from effort
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đ« â Has never experienced an orgasm
đ â You think youâre good at giving head (derogatory)
đ â Switch bitch
đ€ â Closeted bisexual
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đ â The dirtiest, skankiest bitch around
đ â Virgin
đ„ž â Into role play
đ„ â Sends sexts while sitting on the toilet
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đŒ â Just a girl
đ â Has never taken a real risk in your life
đ â Pillow princess
đ â BDSM brat
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đ„° â Accidentally celibate
đ„ł â Doesnât do foreplay
đ â Dry as a bone (most likely to hook up with party face emoji)
đ€ â Wants to be choked
đ€Ș â Giggles during sex because youâre uncomfortable with intimacy
đ§ â Cant find the clit
