Did Lala Kent & Randall Emmett Break Up Because Of Foftygate?

It’s been less than 48 hours since Foftygate came to its dramatic conclusion, with Randall Emmett getting 50 Cent his money by Monday, and all of the menacing Instagram posts being taken down. It was an intense weekend, and honestly, I miss the drama. I’m glad Randall didn’t have a heart attack, but I was seriously enjoying 50 Cent just massively trolling Lala and Randall on Instagram. Without Foftygate in my life, things lack meaning, and every time I refresh Instagram, I’m just greeted by obnoxious photos of Bachelor contestants hawking Flat Tummy Tea. Sad times.

But maybe the fallout from Foftygate isn’t completely over. Now, 50 Cent only wishes the best to Randall and his family, and Rand seems to be on the same page. Late last night, Rand took to the ‘gram and addressed the drama of this weekend in a hilariously casual way.

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A post shared by Randall Emmett (@randallemmettfilms) on

Randall: Yo Fif, man, that was so crazy how you basically threatened me on Instagram for three days, and then I paid you a million dollars, and now you”re not threatening me anymore. Wow! I mean man, just crazy stuff. Best of luck bro!
Me:
So aside from the fact that Randall seems content to ignore the fact that this man put him in the ER just a few days ago, it seems like things are going well! Or maybe not. On Tuesday, Lala Kent threw everything we know into question, when she removed nearly all of the photos of Randall from her Instagram feed. Bum bum BUM. Obviously, this can’t be a good sign for any relationship, but Lala and Rand have always been weird about their public relationship together. Of course, when they first got together, he was still technically married, leading Lala to make up all sorts of wild excuses for why no one had met her Man™️. And as I noted before, they don’t follow each other on Instagram, because they say it’s toxic for their relationship. Weird, but whatever.

As of right now, this is the only picture of Randall that’s still on Lala’s feed:

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I told him last night, if we get caught up in the celebration with our beautiful friends and family, just glance at me from across the room, and we will remember it’s just you and me. Last night was so full of love. Thank you to everyone who came to celebrate with us. You are so adored.

A post shared by Give Them Lala (@lalakent) on

This is from their engagement party, and I can’t decide if Lala left it up on purpose, or if she just didn’t realize what it was because it’s so dark. Another important thing to note is that Lala changed her Insta profile picture to just a black circle. Assuming that this isn’t Lala trying to rebrand before dropping an album (please no), what is this dark phase that Lala’s Instagram is going through? I was honestly starting to get worried, but then I watched Lala’s story. And Tom Schwartz’s story. And looked at Randall’s feed. And guess what?

LALA AND RANDALL WERE HANGING OUT LAST NIGHT.

That’s right. Just hours after the mysterious deletion of all of the Instagram posts, Lala and Randall were casually hanging out with the Pump Rules crew at Katie and Tom Schwartz’s new house. The girls are apparently getting ready to go on a trip to France, and they were all hanging out before hand. Stassi and Beau were also there, and it looks like everyone was having a great time.

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What a fun night with my fiancé

A post shared by Randall Emmett (@randallemmettfilms) on

First, let me say that the house looks gorgeous. I wouldn’t normally expect Katie and Schwartz to be bastions of good taste, so I’m proud of them. But more importantly, Lala and Randall are definitely together!! Not only are they hanging out and looking happy, but Randall directly refers to Lala as his “fiancé” in the caption! Sure, he used the male form of fiancé, but it’s the thought that counts. None of these people are geniuses.

So, no thanks to Lala, it seems like reports of their split have been greatly exaggerated. Looks like Lala won’t have to give new BJs for new PJs after all. I’m glad Lala and Randall’s relationship seems to be intact, at least for now, but Lala might want to keep the shopping in Paris to a minimum, considering that Randall is a million dollars poorer than he was last week. The new Chanel bags will just have to wait.

Images: Shutterstock; @randallemmettfilms (2), @lalakent / Instagram; Giphy

UPDATED: WTF Is Going On With Lala Kent And 50 Cent?

This weekend, the internet has been abuzz, talking about one of the biggest, most important crossover events in entertainment history. Unexpected relationships have emerged, there have been mind-bending plot twists, and someone might not make it out alive. Overall, the stakes have never felt higher. No, I’m not talking about Avengers: Endgame, I’m talking about the epic social media feud of 50 Cent vs. Lala Kent and Randall Emmett.

The feud first emerged out of nowhere on Friday, when 50 Cent posted a Vanderpump Rules clip on Instagram. In the video, Lala explains to Stassi how she met Randall and “let him hit it the first night,” and that after that he would buy her lots of expensive gifts. If you’re an avid VPR viewer, then this story isn’t new or shocking to you, but what does it have to do with 50 Cent? For a moment, I was excited to have another celeb on board with watching the greatest television show of our generation, but things turned dark very quickly.

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Out. Of. Left. Field. #CommentsByCelebs

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50 Cent’s post and caption about sucking a dick for a Range Rover seemed random, but then Lala clapped back in the comments, in a way that made it clear there was something deeper going on here. To be honest, Lala rubs me the wrong way sometimes, but this is my favorite side of her. Can you imagine anyone else from this show going off on 50 Cent like this? Nope. Still, her clap back isn’t the best re: toxic masculinity, and she also quickly deleted her comment. I already have so many questions here, and we’re not even close to done.

Meanwhile, James and Stassi both sounded off in the comments of this post, but with very different messages. James basically indicated that he’s grabbing the popcorn to watch all of this go down, which seems like a really bitchy thing to do. He and Lala aren’t close like they used to be, but she’s really done nothing to deserve this treatment from him. On the other hand, Stassi stood by her girl Lala, which I respect.

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It doesn't end. #CommentsByCelebs

A post shared by CBC Bravo (@cbcbravo) on

After Lala’s clap back, I was wondering if we would hear any more about this, but then things just got more personal. 50 posted a screenshot of his texts with “Randell,” in which he is pleading with 50 to stop texting him and leave him alone. He says that his ex is f*cking with him, and that he’s going to the ER to make sure he’s not having a heart attack. Hi, yes, please stop the ride, I’d like to get off.

In the middle of Randall’s panicked text thread, we take a pause for one of this stories greatest comedic moments:

“I SAID I’M SORRY FOFTY.”

If you claim you didn’t snort with laughter when you first read that, I don’t believe you. To commemorate this moment, we even put it on a f*cking t-shirt. Cheers, betch.

In response, 50 Cent sent a paragraph in which he clarifies that Randall owes him a million dollars, and threatens to crack Randall’s head if he keeps playing with him. I said this was going to get dark, right? We have no way of knowing if Randall really does owe 50 all this money, but if he does, he should probably stop shelling out for Lala and the girls to take PJs to Solvang. Just a thought.

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Fuck you @Randallemmettfilms you think I wouldn’t find out, you and your little hoe girl friend talk to us weekly. ? I want the rest of my money Monday. #lecheminduroi #bransoncognac

A post shared by 50 Cent (@50cent) on

Another crucial plot point in the feud is buried in the caption of this photo, where 50 Cent tells Randall that he wants the rest of his money by Monday. Honestly, I’m nervous just reading about this sh*t, so I have to imagine that Randall has fled the country by now.

It doesn’t end there. Next, 50 Cent posted another screenshot in which he responds to Randall asking him to be in his wedding, and this part is honestly just a little pathetic. 50 is obviously not interesting in being in Randall’s wedding (can’t imagine why not), and he responds with one of my favorite lines ever: “Like I ain’t got sh*t else to do. Get the f*ck outta here.” To be fair, I’m not really sure what 50 Cent is up to these days, but clearly being a groomsman for Randall “My Man” Emmett is low on his list of priorities.

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@randallemmettfilms sent me 250k today but I want all my money Monday fuck that, if he ain’t got it he can put his Rolls Royce on the truck to NY.The friend shit is over rated ?#lecheminduroi #bransoncognac

A post shared by 50 Cent (@50cent) on

Aaaand another dollar in the Fofty Jar for Randall. Well done.

With his next post, 50 Cent deepened my concern that this could actually be headed to a very bad place. It’s sort of like a meme, except one that makes me genuinely concerned that 50 Cent is about to do something bad to Randall. 50 is always watching.

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?look at this fool taking selfies, you better get me my money fool. #lecheminduroi #bransoncognac

A post shared by 50 Cent (@50cent) on

In his most recent couple of posts, 50 Cent has openly mocked Randall for saying he’s going to the ER, and he actually posted this photo of Rand with approximately 700 electrode things attached to his body.

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Your not gonna die before Monday @randallemmettfilms go ahead knock your self out. LOL

A post shared by 50 Cent (@50cent) on

I don’t know a lot about medicine or heart tests or anything like that, but is Randall okay?? I’m all for the drama and the memes that this whole situation has created, but I really don’t want Randall to have a heart attack. Fofty, please.

For now, we’re eagerly awaiting the next development in this already legendary feud, and we’re just mere hours away from the clock striking Monday. If you’re on the edge of your seat like me, now is the perfect time to cop a Money By Monday tee, because this sh*t is going down in history. This is possibly the first time I’ve ever been excited for a Monday, so literally anything is possible. Prayers for Randall, because Fofty doesn’t mess around.

UPDATE: Well, there’s more. We’re still waiting anxiously to see if Fofty will actually show up at Randall’s house to collect his pound of flesh, but things have not cooled down. As of now, it looks like the money Randall owes 50 Cent is debt from gambling. Basically, Randall likes playing poker, but isn’t very good at it. 50 Cent knows this, and lent Randall a lot of money to gamble with. This might seem like a poor choice, but it can be smart to lend money to a bad poker player, because they’ll keep losing, and they’ll just owe you more in the end. A few bad games, and all of a sudden Randall Emmett owes Fofty Cent a million dollars. Yikes.

Yesterday, while waiting for the infamous Monday to roll around, 50 Cent basically turned his Instagram into a meme page dedicated to this feud, and I could not be more here for it. He kicked things off with this screenshot of Randall’s freshly-edited Wikipedia page:

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?you know the Vibes #lecheminduroi #bransoncognac

A post shared by 50 Cent (@50cent) on

Sadly, Rand’s page has been fixed and is now protected from vandalism, but god damn this is funny. Then, because it’s 2019 on the internet, Chrissy Teigen got involved. She tweeted about how she never wants. 50 Cent to be mad at her, which like, same. But then, things got even better, because FOFTY RESPONDED.

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?I love you @chrissyteigen & john, these people just keep trying me. #lecheminduroi #bransoncognac #fofty

A post shared by 50 Cent (@50cent) on

While I’m still incredibly stressed about the situation with 50 Cent and Randall, it’s good to know that Chrissy and John are safe from the wrath of Fofty. I would say this is like something out of a fever dream I had, but honestly none of my dreams have ever been this weird.

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?limited edition, I’m sorry fofty #lecheminduroi #bransoncognac #fofty

A post shared by 50 Cent (@50cent) on

50 Cent kept the memes coming, first with this t-shirt that’s not as cute as ours, but it did remind me about G-Unit. This whole story is wild, but the fact that I’m talking about G-Unit in 2019 is probably the most shocking thing thus far. After that, Fofty reposted a Game of Thrones meme, because even he knows the importance of the battle of Winterfell.

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?I’m just saying make the best of your Sunday evening. The week days can get rough sometimes. #fofty #lecheminduroi #bransoncognac

A post shared by 50 Cent (@50cent) on

This caption might be the most menacing one he’s posted, which is saying a lot. Moving right along from Game of Thrones, 50 pivoted back to his original source material for this feud: Vanderpump Rules (a better show than GoT, there I said it). He posted the clip from earlier this season, when Lala and Rand were briefly broken up, and Lala is saying how there’s a lot of dick she could suck to get PJ flights from other men.

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??I’m not gonna say a word. #lecheminduroi #bransoncognac #fofty

A post shared by 50 Cent (@50cent) on

I just asked if we could make a shirt that says “BJ’s For New PJ’s,” but sadly I was turned down. Can’t imagine why. Fofty is implying that Randall is going to be broke after paying him a million dollars, which honestly might be true. It’s now officially Monday, and I’m on the edge of my seat to see what’s going to happen.

PS: Before I go, I need to dispel one piece of fake news that’s been going around. People have noticed that Lala and Randall aren’t following each other on Instagram, but this isn’t new. They’ve shared in the past that they both blocked each other on Insta at one point, so they haven’t followed each other in a long time. This is obviously weird, but their not following each other isn’t any indication of trouble at the moment.

Images: Shutterstock; @cbcbravo (2), @50cent (4) / Instagram; Shop Betches

These Celebs Had The Most Extra Valentine’s Day

If you’re in a relationship, Valentine’s Day is really the one day of the year when you have a free pass to be obnoxious on social media. As a single person, it’s fun to complain about everyone posting their flowers and chocolate, but I get it. But while you were posting a throwback photo of you and your SO with a cheesy caption, some of our favorite celebrities were out here getting truly wild yesterday. Here’s a rundown of some of the most extra celebrity posts this Valentine’s Day, and most of them are exactly who you’d expect.

Kylie Jenner

Less than one week after Stormi World broke the internet, Kylie Jenner is back with another over-the-top holiday display. Travis Scott is currently away on tour, but that didn’t stop him from arranging a series of heart-shaped rose arches that probably cost more than I make in a year. Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if Kylie coordinated these herself, because she seems like the kind of woman who would want to be in control of her Valentine’s Day. It’s unclear if there was a gift or something waiting at the end of the display, but it was probably something else I can’t afford.

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must be dreaming!! ?…

A post shared by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

Randall Emmett

If the name “Randall Emmett” still doesn’t ring a bell for you, he’s Lala Kent’s fiancé, thus he’s better known as “Rand” or just “My Man.” As we know, Lala is currently filming a new movie, and she got surprised on the set with a very large vase of flowers. Like, she’s sitting in the courtroom set in costume in full WWII Germany-era clothing, and they bring the flowers in. I guess this is romantic, but I’m pretty sure you’d get fired for pulling this sh*t if your man wasn’t the one financing the movie.

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I love you valentine!!

A post shared by Randall Emmett (@randallemmettfilms) on

Ashley Iaconetti

We can always count on BachelorNation’s most annoying couple to bless us with dumb content. Earlier this week, we learned that Jared and Ashley are writing a children’s book (yikes), and if Ashley’s V-day caption is any indication, we’re in for a real treat. While posting the sappiest photo of her and her fiancé, she writes a nice caption about how if you’re a lonely loser, you should still have hope! Thanks so much Ashley, your support really means the world. Can’t wait to preorder the book!

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To the single people who are feeling lonely, left out, or longing for a special someone while scrolling on Instagram today. I promise you will be with your right person when it’s meant to happen and then you’ll realize you shouldn’t have stressed so much about it because the wait so worth it! I know this is cliche, but it’s also true and it take from someone who was single for almost 30 years. It just takes one person to change everything! I love you more than I could ever express, @jaredhaibon.

A post shared by Ashley Iaconetti (@ashley_iaconetti) on

Kim Kardashian

Considering that Kanye West rented out an entire baseball stadium to propose to Kim Kardashian,  it makes sense that he goes way too far for Valentine’s Day. First of all, if I went anywhere near that room, there is a 100% chance that I would accidentally shatter all those vases. Cute gesture, but I’m f*cking clumsy. Also, where is all of their furniture? Did Kanye have a moving company take away all the furniture just for the afternoon? Also, Kim K loooooves Kenny G, and I can’t think of anything that turns me on less.

NO BIG DEAL KENNY G IN MY LIVING ROOM!!! Happy Valentines Day ??? pic.twitter.com/A1GD0UlEwu

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) February 14, 2019

Katy Perry

There’s nothing more eye roll-inducing than a Valentine’s Day engagement, and it’s no big surprise that it came from Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom. They’ve been together for a long time (not counting the period when they were broken up), so it makes sense for them to finally be engaged. I’m not so sure how I feel about that ring (actually, I’m sure, it looks like a Ring Pop), but I’m definitely not feeling this weird closeup angle or Orlando’s greasy-looking hair. Whatever, I’m happy for them I guess.

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full bloom

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Images: @kyliejenner / Instagram; @randallemmettfilms / Instagram; @ashley_iaconetti / Instagram; @kimkardashian / Twitter; @katyperry / Instagram

Lala Kent Is In A New WWII Movie, And Here’s Everything We Know

If you know Lala Kent at all (which I clearly do on a close personal level after watching her on my TV screen for the past three-ish years), you probably know her as the Vanderpump Rules hostess with an affinity for private jets and a special relationship with Tupac. There’s no denying that Lala has had a very successful few years: she launched a makeup line, cracked 1M Instagram followers, and got engaged to her super-rich producer boyfriend, Randall Emmett. One perk of dating Randall is the boost he’s apparently offered Lala’s acting career. In 2018, Lala starred in The Row, a 2018 sorority-horror movie that Randall produced, and which is already green-lit for a sequel. Recently, Lala has been posting on Instagram that she’s acting in a new movie, but it’s not another horror flic. Lala Kent’s new movie is a WWII drama set in Weimar Germany called Axis Sally. And yes, it’s produced by Randall. Oh boy. Here’s what we know about Lala Kent’s new movie.

It’s Based On A True Story

Honestly, I have no idea why Randall or Lala were drawn to this particular story, but here we go. Axis Sally is based on the story of a woman called Mildred Gillars, an American broadcaster who disseminated German propaganda from Berlin during WWII. After the war, (spoilers) Mildred is captured by the U.S., convicted of treason, and sentenced to “ten to thirty” years imprisonment (which is incidentally the same amount of time I will remain in grad school). Mildred’s story is definitely not the “brave gentile saves and hides endangered Jews” heroic tale we’ve come to expect from WWII movies and literature, that’s for sure.

Now, before you freak out, Lala isn’t playing the lead—she’s playing the assistant to one of the prosecutors in Gillars’ case. Mildred Gillars (aka Axis Sally) is played by Meadow Williams. I’d never heard of Meadow Williams before researching this, so I gave her a quick Google. Her personal website describes her as a “remarkable young actress from the farmlands of Tennessee,” which sounds to me like the set-up for a porno, but okay. There’s also some fascinating information about her legal troubles with her late husband’s family. (TL;DR his kids think she faked his will to get more money, which honestly sounds like a more interesting story than Axis Sally.) The meanest best description I could find for Meadow Williams is from the Daily Mail, and it labels her a “D-list actress branded a gold digger.” So, a WWII drama about a distributor of Nazi propaganda, in which both of the cast members we know of so far are known for reality TV and (allegedly) gold-digging. What could go wrong?

In case you’re curious, here’s a picture of Meadow Williams in her full Weimar Germany-era getup, sitting in a courtroom that I have seen no less than one thousand times on Lala’s Instagram story in the past week. (I would think that violates some sort of NDA or waiver they would have signed, but apparently not?)

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Happy birthday to this pretty lady. Meadow, you have beauty and a heart and soul to match. I’m so thankful for your friendship. Have the best day ever♥️ @meadow.williams Ps. She is slaying it as Axis Sally. Game Over.

A post shared by Give Them Lala (@lalakent) on

Very Random Celebs Are Involved

First, as you already know, Lala’s fiancé, Randall Emmett, is producing the movie. He posted a kind-of cute Instagram about it recently, featuring Lala in the outfit I now suspect she wears for the entire movie, given the number of Instagram stories and pictures I’ve seen it in. (I say the Instagram is kind of cute because there are TWO typos. It’s not even a long caption.)

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@lalakent proud of you and this role that your crushing from the 1940s they all going to be blown away!!

A post shared by Randall Emmett (@randallemmettfilms) on

Also, can we discuss how Lala looks like Jaime Lannister here??

Jaime Lannister

Tell me I’m wrong. I’ll wait.

While I’d always thought Randall just kind of threw money behind different productions and that’s how he earned his “producer” title, it turns out he actually has a production company: MoviePass Films. Yep, like the app. IMO, this explains why Randall’s movies keep tanking (Gotti, anyone?)these people are not good at business!!

Also involved in this movie: Kate Bosworth, who you should know as the girl everyone had a crush on in the ‘90s. (If you don’t know who she is, you’re too young and I hate you.) Her main and/or only involvement seems to be the fact that her husband, Michael Polish, is the director, but that hasn’t stopped her from accompanying them to every set location and Instagramming the sh*t out of the whole thing.

First Khloé Kardashian, now Kate Bosworth… people in Hollywood really like Lala.

On the bright side, it’s nice to see Lala diversifying her friend group. The list of random celebs involved with this movie continues with Al Pacino, a very serious A-list actor, and then someone named Alexa Dellanos. Dellanos has 1.1M Instagram followers, but I can find out literally zero information about her other than the fact that she was once spotted with boyfriend and graffiti artist Alec Monopoly, who I’ve also never heard of. If anyone can tell me what she does, how her waist is so small, and why she’s in a movie with Al Pacino, I am eagerly accepting suggestions.

This Isn’t Lala’s Only Dramatic Role

While Lala’s not exactly known for her serious genre work, it turns out Axis Sally isn’t the only drama she’s filmed this year. She’s also appearing in Vault, a 2019 crime drama set in the ‘70s.
How I’m picturing Lala’s role in Vault:

In case you were wondering, I trawled extensively and could not find Randall’s name in connection to Vault, so it’s nice to know she’s not exclusively working on his sets. While I personally didn’t love The Row (you can read my review here), I have to assume the fact that it’s getting a sequel means enough people did like it (or at least watched it). And while I would’ve expected Lala to go in a more “designing handbags” direction with her 30s, I guess I’m here for her “attempt at an Oscar” years instead. Truly, the year we see Lala Kent get nominated for an acting award is the year we know we’ve entered the sunken place.

What did I miss about Axis Sally? The movie has a $25 million budget (that’s a lot of PJ rides!), and is shooting in Puerto Rico. So when you see Lala posting incessantly from Puerto Rico for the next few weeks, you’ll know why. (JK, you’d know why anyway—she mentions in every single IG Story that she’s on her way to set. It’s almost like…she really, really wants people to know she’s in a movie??) So, if we all survive 2019, we can look forward to watching Lala Kent confer with Al Pacino, Instagram models, and background actors dressed in Nazi gear in 2020. Or, you know, not watch it. No one will judge you.

Images: Instagram; Instagram; Instagram; Giphy (1)

Who Is Lala Kent’s Man And How Much Money Is He Spending On Her?

As a newbie to the reunion episode game, the past two weeks of Vanderpump Rules have been thrilling for me. Andy Cohen is out here asking questions that therapists usually wait six months to get into, and the cast, as usual, is holding very little back. This past week, for example, we finally heard Lala open up a bit about her “man.” Specifically, she listed the many, many things he buys her, a list I then aggressively relayed to my less-than-thrilled boyfriend. I know, I’m almost as petty as Scheana. (She also mentioned that her man watches VPR with superfan Martin Scorsese, but meh. At most, Randall was once like “look at this show that my girlfriend’s on” and Scorsese was like “that’s nice.”) Anyway, somewhere between the footage of Lala getting out of her BMW i8 and all her recent Instagrams decked out in designer gear at Cannes, I suddenly got a lot more curious about who exactly Lala’s man is. These aren’t just established middle-aged man gifts—this is serious money. So, who TF is this guy, and what exactly is he buying Lala? Let’s dive in.

Who Is Lala’s Man?

Lala’s man is named Randall Emmett, and he’s a producer of some pretty legit films. His most recent big movie was Scorsese’s Silence, which lends some credence to the whole Scorsese watching VPR lie theory. He’s also currently debuting a film at Cannes called Gotti, which I was convinced until about three minutes ago starred 50 Cent. (It doesn’t, and the score is composed by Pitbull, which is…disappointing.) Nonetheless, Randall is at Cannes, works with big actors and directors alike, and is undisputedly legit. (If you don’t believe me, scan through Randall’s Instagram. It’s basically the picture version of his IMDb.) In other words, he absolutely has the Hollywood power and money to take Lala’s life to another level.

On a personal level, he was previously married to Ambyr Childers, who is 17 years younger than him. (For reference, Lala is 19 years younger. I’m not loving the pattern.) I’m not going to discuss the state of his marriage when he met Lala, but you’re welcome to read about it here. Lala stated on Monday that he was legally separated when they met, FWIW, which our independently conducted research seems to support. He has two children, also heavily featured on his Instagram. He also regularly posts motivational “Torpedo Tuesday” videos, in which he screams at his followers to GET UP GET OUT THERE AND MAKE THAT MONEY. All of which really make me wonder who would win in a screaming match between James and Randall.

Torpedo Tuesday. Crush it everyone

A post shared by Randall Emmett (@randallemmettfilms) on

What Is Lala’s Man Buying Her?

Let’s start with the list Lala rattled off on Monday night. She mentioned purses, jewelry, cars, rent, and rides on his private jet. For the cars: he pays for the lease, she pays for insurance. For rent, he pays up to an agreed-upon cap, which Lala said she is “well over.” I can’t imagine how big and nice of a place she has if it’s well over what I’m sure is a generous cap, but it definitely made a sad contrast with the footage they showed of James sleeping on the floor of a slightly too-interested middle-aged dude. Bleak. And for the record, a BMW i8 starts at $147,500, so excuse me while I cry into my coffee for a minute.

Now let’s talk about the other stuff. Since beginning her relationship with Randall, Lala has landed a starring role in a movie (produced by Randall), produced the hit song “Boy,” and launched the makeup line #Give Them Lala Beauty. While she insists that her music and beauty pursuits are exclusively funded with her own money, the movie is literally her boyfriend’s movie, so we can add that onto Randall’s tab with a small degree of confidence. BRB, gonna go ask my boyfriend why he hasn’t given me a lucrative job yet. “Give a man a fish… teach a man to fish…” and all that, ya know?

The couples that get injected together, stay together. We love you @drjasondiamond ???? Stayed tuned for what we are about to do, my angels ????

A post shared by Give Them Lala (@lalakent) on

So, how are we supposed to feel about all this? Well, if you’re like me, lightly devastated. For one, Lala is three years older than me but looks like she’s three years younger. And the amount of money I’ve described in this article alone seems like more than I’ll earn in my lifetime. On the other hand, Lala reportedly was already getting her breasts done when she was 20, so she’s been hustling and betting on her appearance to get her places for a long-ass time. And I have to show some admiration for Lauryn Kent from Salt Lake City getting to where she is now. You can find their relationship cute or disgusting, I don’t really care, but you can’t deny that you’d enjoy certain aspects of her life.

As a final note, I do wish that Lala would stop personally victimizing me saying the only reason other girls can’t ride on private jets, etc. is because they’re not hot enough. Lala herself admits she’s gotten injections and plastic surgery to enhance her appearance, so what are the rest of us supposed to do if we get paid hostess’ salaries and we don’t have rich boyfriends covering our rent? It feels like when you have to have 5 years’ job experience to get an entry-level position. Lala took a very specific route to get what she wanted, and she has a right to feel pride in it. But I imagine she put in a lot of effort for many years to get to this place, and that’s something I’d really like to hear more about in step-by-step detail. You know, for a friend.

Images: Instagram (2); Giphy (1)

Lala Kent Is Being Super Shady About Her Boyfriend, Randall Emmett

It’s been a wild ride on the Lala Kent’s Married Boyfriend Express. We went from extreme denial in season 5 to acceptance in season 6. Did I just liken finding out the identity of Lala’s boyfriend to the stages of grief? Yes, yes I did. So like, we all know that Lala is dating Randall Emmett, a movie producer who, up until recently, was married. They became Instagram official shortly after the divorce was announced, but now, Lala is acting super fucking weird. She took down all the photos of Randall on her Instagram, and has gone into what she is calling “protection mode.”

Just take a look at this now-deleted Instagram photo that I happened to fortuitously screenshot before Lala took it down:

Lala Kent Instagram

I too like to vague-Gram my boyfriend about things I could just text him privately about.

When asked in a comment on one of her pictures why Lala took down all the photos of Randall, she replied, “I’m back in protection mode. He’s not up for discussion anymore. He’s protected again. I love this question” (with a heart emoji at the end).

First of all, can we all just agree that this is SO FUCKING WEIRD? Lala, your boyfriend is 46 years old. He is a grown-ass man. I’m sure he can fend for himself. What type of protection exactly do you think this middle-aged man needs from you anyway? I know you act like you’re a gang banger from the streets of Compton (complete with a new “thug life” tattoo—yes, really), but you’re not actually out here poppin’ anyone who dares speak ill of your man. (Yes, I watch too many movies.) Like, you just… deleted a couple of photos while also drawing a ton of attention to the fact that you deleted said photos. If that’s a form of legitimate protection, I should be getting a job offer from the Witness Protection Program any day now.

Not to mention, how is removing someone’s photos off your Instagram really “protecting” them? We all know who this man is already. What is he really being protected from at this point, other than mean Instagram comments? You can just turn those off, or do what I do and refuse to read any comments on any of your posts ever. And if a 46-year-old man is so affected by mean comments on social media, well then, that speaks a lot to his maturity, and I can see why he’s dating a 27-year-old. 

It also needs to be said that if you don’t want your life and your relationship to become the objects of public scrutiny, do not willingly sign yourself up to be on a reality TV show! You just can’t have it both ways. That’s not how this works. That’s not how any of this works.

Is Lala Really A Home-Wrecker? An In-Depth Investigation

Earlier this week, Lala Kent went public with Randall Emmett, her rumored formerly married boyfriend, by posting their first-ever selfie on Instagram. I would say “aww cute” when any couple becomes Instagram official, except for when one person in a relationship is a hot hostess, and the other is a toad encased in human skin. Since Lala began dating Randall while he was still legally married, she’s been called many things, like a home-wrecking whore (courtesy of Katie Maloney). But Lala insisted on this week’s episode that she is no such thing. So did Lala actually break up Randall’s marriage? I have been called upon by myself to investigate, and my findings are interesting, if I do say so myself.

According to E! News, while Randall Emmett and Ambyr Childers’ divorce was finalized on December 22, 2017, the couple were separated in 2015 and again in 2016. Vanderpump Rules season 5 aired on November 7, 2016. According to Scheana on our Betch Slapped podcast, Vanderpump Rules films over the summer—meaning that, in the summer of 2016, Randall and his wife could very much have been separated. Does that make it okay? Ehhh, I’m not going to play ethics police given the way I rang in the New Year/lead my life in general, but it’s dubious. Not to mention, how many times has a married guy lied to his mistress and said “We’re separated, it’s over, I’m going to leave my wife”? But is Lala the reason this marriage ended? Given that Lala was on Vanderpump Rules in 2015 and there was no mention of this married guy, and Emmett and Childers were already separated then anyway, it doesn’t look so cut-and-dry.

 

2017… You were tough. You were amazing. You made me cry. You made me smile. & sometimes you really sucked. But look where You brought me- Just as a human being. The growth I feel is like nothing else. I want everyone to remember to shake things off. Go with your heart, go with your gut. Trust your mind. People can say things. People can write things… but no one in the entire world knows your truth. Only you do. Never forget that. I took on 2017 like a fucking champion. I fully intend to do the same in all years to come. I hope you do the same. Happy New Year, my beauties⚡️

A post shared by Give Them Lala (@lalakent) on

Furthermore, I stalked Ambyr Childers’ Instagram, and what I found was extremely interesting. And yes, I am pretty disgusted with myself for stalking an innocent woman’s Instagram account just because she is loosely associated with a castmember on a second-tier reality show I watch, but then again, her Instagram was public and extremely easy to find, so who’s the real victim here? So I looked at all 182 of this woman’s posts (I know, you don’t have to tell me), and you know what I didn’t find? A single picture of or with Randall. Now, I know that she could have done an Instagram purge, and/or some couples don’t feel the need to post their SO on social media (I am told), but still. It’s odd. 

And you know what else I found? A picture of Ambyr with some other dude who is decidedly not Randall. From the looks of it (aka the caption), she’s spending the year in Paris with this guy. And like, that wouldn’t mean anything, except for the comment that says “beautiful couple!”. And there’s another picture of them from a week ago with comments like, “You guys are the cutest!!!” and “great way to end the last chapter and start anew!” YEAH. So I’d say it looks like both Randall and Ambyr have moved on, although only one of them moved on to an age-appropriate SO. Four for you, Ambyr. You go, Ambyr.

So did Lala break up this marriage? Is she a home-wrecking whore? Should we stop judging hers and other people’s relationships from the outside? These answers and more, next time on “probably not but that’s not going to stop me.”

Lala Kent’s Married Boyfriend Might Be Broke

On this week’s episode of Vanderpump Rules, we saw the return of our favorite professional sugar baby, Lala Kent. Not much has changed except that she’s given up on denying having a married boyfriend. She did make a point to say on the show that while her boyfriend does buy her some stuff, she still has bills to pay and that is her reason for returning to SUR. Well, that’s probably not the real reason—and I don’t just mean because the real real reason is obviously because she wants to get back on TV. No. The real real real reason Lala needs a job is because the guy we’ve basically all but confirmed is her boyfriend, Randall Emmett, reportedly owes over $279,000 in taxes. No, that’s not a typo.

Okay first of all, WHAT?! How do you owe that much money in taxes? I mean, I understand the concept of just… not sending the state the money you’re supposed to send them and keeping it for yourself, but how do people really think they can get away with just not paying a cool $279,503 in taxes? The government isn’t going to forget about a sum like that. 

Page Six reached Randall Emmett’s rep for comment, who told them that there was a “‘miscommunication’ with his tax handler” and said Randall took care of the liens on Monday. IDK, that seems shady. Not as shady as dating a woman 19 years your junior when you’re still legally married, but shady nonetheless.

Anyway, Lala, hope you enjoy the private jets and the Range Rover, because it might get repoed soon.