The Most Wild ‘Bachelor’ Moments You Totally Forgot About

I have a confession. I’ve had as much fun as the next girl watching Selling Sunset. I truly enjoyed my time binge-watching Below Deck Mediterranean. And I’m absolutely delighted in how much smarter I was than those horny dummies hemorrhaging money on Too Hot to Handle. But I’ll be damned if I am not ready for my OG reality obsession to start back up. Sure, I may sh*t talk The Bachelor franchise to anyone with ears (mostly my dog these days), but I think we all know that when I’m on my deathbed surrounded by friends and loved ones I’ll use my last words to whisper, “They were all there for the wrong reasons.” So I am pleased to say that The Bachelorette is finally premiering on ABC Tuesday, October 13th at 8/7 central (I swear, I spend half my life shilling for Chris Harrison). In anticipation of the show, and what we know will be a bonkers season, I started thinking about the wildest moments that this franchise has blessed us with. And I’m not talking about Colton jumping the fence, I wrote that phrase more times than my own name in 2019 and I’ve asked the devil to strike me down if I ever dare do it again. I’m talking about the moments you forgot about, the weird, the awkward, the shriek-worthy. Let us remember together. 

The Contestant That Dated A Producer

Okay, I’m taking us way back to Jake Pavelka’s season in 2010 for this one, and yes I know that was a long time ago. I told you this is the list of moments you forgot! You’re not going to forget something that happened last season unless you drank an entire bottle of wine every episode! Oh wait… do I need to rethink this entire list? Whatever, I’m going with it. Anyway, on Jake’s season, there was a contestant who got kicked off the show because she engaged in a “physical relationship” with a producer. Chris Harrison claimed the producer confessed multiple times to multiple people (seems excessive, but k), and that other girls on the show saw it happen. Shame, shame, I know your name. And it’s Rozlyn Papa! 

Rozlyn was confronted by Chris and kicked off the show. She vehemently denied that anything happened with the producer, claiming they were just “close friends.” Either way, it was enough to get her the boot.

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SEVEN MORE DAYS UNTIL #THEBACHELOR SEASON PREMIERE! To celebrate (and fill content) I am counting down my Top 14 wildest moments on The Bachelor and will share one each day. Today I’m sharing #7, Rozlyn gets accused of having an inappropriate relationship with a staffer. To be completely honest, Rozlyn was ahead of her time, I’m sure these inappropriate relationships happen all the time bc let’s be real. You are not auditoning to go on for someone, they don’t pick the lead until very late and after the group of contestants is chosen. So many people have admitted they weren’t into the lead when filming and Rozlyn just happened to get caught. Also Jake Pavelka is such a phony, @viennagirardi was right, he’s totally acting here and it’s obvious. This was WEEK TWO, not week 7 or 8. #thebachelor #thebachelorette #bachelorinparadise #bachelornation #bachelor #jakepavelka #rozlynpapa #bachelor #bachelorette #rozlyn @rozlynpapa #abc #chrisharrison

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Nick Viall Slut-Shames Andi Dorfman 

I’d be remiss if I did not mention the Bachelor whose entire being is an assault on all five of my senses, who single-handedly turned me against the turtleneck, and whose voice sends a chill down my spine. And that man is Nick Viall. Nick must have some dark sh*t on Mike Fleiss to have gotten himself on this franchise four times because I truly do not get his appeal. Especially since his first appearance was such a disaster. For you youngsters who only know Nick as The Bachelor, please take my hand while I lead you back to Andi Dorfman’s season of The Bachelorette in 2014. Nick was the runner-up, which makes sense because nice guys finish last, but slut-shaming creeps usually finish second.

During the After The Final Rose special, Nick confronted Andi and said to her, “If you weren’t in love with me, I’m just not sure why you made love with me.” First of all, only the most deranged psychopaths would say “made love with me.” Like, pretty sure even Ted Bundy knew that was too f*cking weird for a normal human to say. Second of all, really pal? You have to call her out for sleeping with you on national TV just because you’re embarrassed she didn’t pick you? And also, I’m confused. When you became the bachelor, Nick, a woman you slept with at Jade’s wedding showed up. If you weren’t in love with her, why did you make love with her? ANSWER ME. You know what? I’m getting re-fired up about this. Maybe with all this free time I’ve acquired during the pandemic, I should start doing some good in the world. And by that I mean finding Nick Viall, following him to all of his sexual encounters, hiding behind the curtains, and screaming “if you aren’t in love with her, why did you make love with her!” when it’s all over. Or is that going too far? I can’t tell what’s socially acceptable anymore.

Demario’s Ex-Girlfriend Shows Up

Demario Jackson was a contestant on Rachel Lindsay’s season of The Bachelorette. During a group basketball date, a woman claiming to be Demario’s girlfriend showed up. Lexi claimed that she and Demario had been dating for six months and that he had a key to her house. To be fair, anyone that looks under my doormat could claim to have a key to my house, so is that really a smoking gun? Regardless, Rachel told Demario to “get the f*ck out”, but he maintains that Lexi was a fake girlfriend, and tbh that girl was wearing a scrunchie before they officially came back, so I’d deny I dated her too.

Demario isn’t the only contestant over the years to have allegedly had a significant other during the filming of the show. Justin “Rated R” (gag me) Rego from Ali’s season walked so Demario could run. And most recently we had Jed Wyatt, Hannah’s winner, who went on the show while having a girlfriend in an attempt to further his career. I’m sure you all remember the chart-topping single “I wanna be your Mr. Right,” and his CMA nomination, right?

All Of The Terrible Humans That ABC Has Cast

Look, if I had to list all the racists, sexists, and convicted felons that have been cast on this show separately, I would die of carpal tunnel. And then how would I continue to delight you all with my witty commentary for years to come? So I’m going to lump them all together. First, we have Lee Garret, who was cast for Rachel Lindsay’s season, the first Black bachelorette, whose racist tweets surfaced after the season was filmed. Really, ABC? It took them so long to finally cast a Black lead, and then she has to deal with this sh*t. It’s not nice, it could have been avoided, and I’m not convinced it wasn’t done on purpose. 

Then we have Lincoln Adim who was first known for sh*tting on the floor in his office bathroom and then later known for being convicted of indecent assault and battery on a cruise ship. He had already been charged when the show was cast and now he is officially a registered sex offender. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times. ABC MUST stop hiring three toddlers in a trench coat to do background checks. 

The Legend Of Sanderson Poe

Poor Sanderson Poe. He really became collateral damage in his sociopathic widow’s quest for reality TV fame, didn’t he? For those of you who are very confused right now, Kelsey Poe was a contestant on Chris Soules’ season of The Bachelor. At first, she seemed like the typical contestant of that time—a cute girl with a sob story. Mike Fleiss legit jerks off to sob stories. And so, it seems, does Kelsey Poe. Kelsey revealed her story to Chris, telling him about how she was widowed. But to the camera, she called her story amazing and declared that she loved her tragic story. Even I found it quite disturbing, and I’m usually totally fine with stories where men die. She went on to say “I know this is a show about Chris, but this is my love story, too. This is the unfolding of somebody who’s been through something so tragic and you get to watch her pick up the pieces and grow into another person and into another relationship.” I’m sorry, but did she steal that line straight out of the producer’s notebook at her casting session? You’re not supposed to view your own story the same way a poor, soulless, LA grunt would, Kelsey!

Then, Kelsey went on one of the most awkward 2-on-1 dates of all time with Ashley I, she of the overactive tear ducts, and Chris Soules, the aforementioned Bachelor who giggled for an entire season instead of forming full sentences. On that date, Chris decided to ditch them both, leaving them alone in the desert with only buckets of Ashley’s tears on which to survive. 

The rose is just a rouse #thebachelor

Posted by Kelsey Poe on Sunday, February 8, 2015

All Of Chad’s Behavior

There were some admirable things about Chad Johnson, a contestant on JoJo Fletcher’s season of The Bachelorette. His commitment to fitness. His apparent ability to smuggle steroids through airport security. His affinity for protein. Unfortunately, those good qualities were overshadowed by his homicidal threats and blackout drunk episodes. If only he could have kept those pesky traits under control! Throughout the whole season, Chad was aggressive and threatening toward the other contestants. He grabbed Evan’s shirt and ripped it. He said he would dismember the other guys (that was a little funny). He even threatened to find Jordan after the show. Look Chad, you’re not Isla Fisher in Wedding Crashers, and this is not cute. 

Except I guess ABC did think it was cute, because after JoJo kicked him off The Bachelorette, ABC cast him again for Bachelor in Paradise. And he was kicked off after the first night for “shockingly offensive behavior.” He got wasted, called multiple women bitches, and pooped his pants. He even had the gall to insult Chris Harrison AND mimosas when he was sober the next day. I am shocked!! It’s almost like the producers didn’t watch their own show! How could they have known he would behave this way? Oh wait, they totally could have. Stop casting toxic abusive assholes, ABC. How many homemade signs do I have to wave outside your office that say that? I only have so many glitter markers!

Raven’s Orgasm Dance 

Did you think I was going to mock Nick Viall only one time in this article? I’d hoped you knew me better than that. Nick finally wormed his way to the top even after nobody wanted to see him on TV again, and was named the Bachelor. Raven Gates was a contestant on his season who confessed that she never had an orgasm before. And for some reason, she thought Nick was going to be the one to change that. They had their fantasy suite date, and in the morning Raven said “Nick is really good at what he does” and LITERALLY DID AN ORGASM DANCE around the town. Not only was this more embarrassing to me than the time my grandmother walked in on me watching Black Swan and I had to scream “look away!”, but I also just don’t believe it. There’s no way that Raven went 25 years without an orgasm, only to meet a man on a reality TV show who I’m pretty sure has a beard transplant, and THAT’S what finally does it for her? It’s just implausible, is all I’m saying. The numbers don’t add up. 

And those are the wildest moments from The Bachelor that you forgot about. Did I forget any moments you forgot in this article?  Let me know!

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Images: Tinseltown / Shutterstock.com; Giphy (5); Kelsey Poe/Facebook; doyoucallthisimmature/Instagram

UPDATED: How Bachelor Nation Has Responded To The Hannah Brown Controversy

As you may know, I usually love documenting the messy behavior of our favorite (and least favorite) Bachelor alums. From Amanda Stanton maybe stealing a Chanel bag to TikToks that make me want to die, it’s usually a fun ride. But over the weekend, things went from fun to depressing real quick. On Saturday, Hannah Brown said the N-word on Instagram live, and the resulting fallout has been anything but fun to watch.

On the IG live, Hannah was trying to learn the TikTok dance to DaBaby’s song “Rockstar,” and she said some of the lyrics that happened to include that word. When people on the live first called her out, she said she was sorry, but also that she didn’t think she said it, and she was also laughing the whole time. She later said she would “never use that word”, and that “y’all can think I said whatever I did or think I’m something I’m not, but I’m not that.” Yikes. On Sunday, she issued more of an actual apology, but the whole thing has just left an awful taste in my mouth.

Aside from all the reasons why this is obviously not okay, it’s been interesting to see which members of Bachelor Nation have spoken out publicly. While many have sadly said nothing, at least there are some people in this weird world who have their heads on straight. Here are the most notable reactions.

Rachel Lindsay

 

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Rachel Lindsay has got to be one of smartest, most well-spoken people in Bachelor Nation, and she also happens to be the only black lead in the history of the show. With that in mind, I was really interested to hear what she had to say about this situation. In an Instagram Live video, she said she was personally offended, but rather than call Hannah out, she reached out to her directly. Rachel asked Hannah to address her comments on video, saying, “When you’re bold enough to say the N-word on your platform… you need to be bold enough to use your face, on camera, and apologize in the same way that you said the word.”

Understandably, Rachel was disappointed and hurt when Hannah only apologized through a text post on Instagram stories. This may seem like a small thing, but there’s something important about showing your face and admitting you were wrong. In her video, Rachel said she’s “tired of feeling like I have to be the one to speak,” and I totally get it. It’s not fair for pressure to be placed on her to react in these situations, but she did an excellent job of communicating her feelings.

Bekah Martinez

Bekah was one of the first people in Bachelor Nation to publicly comment on what happened, and she had a lot to say throughout the day on Sunday. First, she called Hannah out (without naming her) in a couple of stories, urging that we need to do a better job of holding people accountable. She also addressed the people who apparently think it doesn’t count when you say the word in a song, which I didn’t realize was something people still legitimately thought in 2020.

In a subsequent video, Bekah acknowledged that she’s not perfect either, and that she’s worked hard to “unlearn” the ignorance that she grew up with. She says that this process was “difficult and uncomfortable,” but that it’s disappointing to see others not putting in that work and acknowledging their mistakes.

Then, later in the day, she hopped back on stories, saying that she wishes she removed the “call out” part of her initial stories, and instead focused on the educational aspect. That’s all well and good, but she has no reason to apologize. Hannah f*cked up, and there’s no reason people need to tiptoe around holding her accountable.

Mike Johnson

In an Instagram story on Sunday night, Mike said that he received DMs calling him out for not addressing the situation sooner, accusing him of “not defending women of color.” While he said he hadn’t seen the video yet, he made his thoughts clear: “she shouldn’t have said the N-word, it’s pretty damn simple.” He then asked people not to come for him for not keeping up with every little thing that happens in Bachelor Nation. Honestly, relatable.

Tyler Cameron

If I’m being honest, Tyler Cameron’s responses to this whole thing have felt a little wishy-washy. In an Instagram story, he said that Rachel Lindsay “hit the nail on the head,” and that “we have a long ways to go on this issue.” That’s certainly true, but then he changed gears to sort of defending Hannah. Uh, what?

He said, “This is not about dragging HB. This is about using your platform for reasons like this. So we can educate those who don’t get it. This is bigger than HB. This is a societal problem.” Like, yes, it is definitely a societal problem, but it’s also an HB problem. No one should be sending Hannah threats or anything, but it’s absolutely justified for people to be hurt and angry, and to call her out for what she did.

In a response to a DM, Tyler also took kind of an odd stance: “In these moments you have the opportunity to burry someone or lift them up. We need to lift HB up from this. She is learning and growing just like every single one of us. Love rids hate. Hate only makes more hate. Let’s learn and lift each other up with love.” Whatever Tyler is smoking, I’d like some. Of course, it’s important to educate and grow and love and all that sh*t, but it’s been one day. People are still mad, which is a completely valid response, because Hannah used a racial slur with centuries of hate-filled baggage attached to it, and nobody should be dismissing those feelings of anger and hurt so quickly. A quick glance through Instagram comments will show that the majority of the people who are rushing to forgive her are not the ones who have truly felt the damage that this word can cause (TL;DR: they’re white). And not only did Hannah use the word, but her initial response was so flippant, you’d think it was no big deal. Of course I hope she grows and learns and takes meaningful actions to do better in the future, but that doesn’t mean we should give her a free pass because “everyone makes mistakes.”

Nick Viall

Nick Viall was just trying to do a normal Q&A on Sunday, but naturally a ton of people wanted his thoughts on the Hannah controversy. He kept it simple, saying “There is no excuse. Period. Super sad and disappointing to see.” Honestly, that’s about all I need from someone like Nick. I actually really like that he directed people to Rachel’s Instagram Live, rather than trying to make this about him sharing his own thoughts.

UPDATE: Another day has passed, and thankfully, more people from Bachelor Nation have spoken out about the whole situation with Hannah Brown.

Diggy Moreland

I had no idea what was going on until last night, & didnt get the full story/see the video until this morning.

Watching her get quiet when she approached the N-word in the lyrics tells me she knew she shouldnt have said it. Ive heard more sincere apologies from a box of cereal. https://t.co/g0rNXsOcx0

— Diggy Moreland (@diggymoreland) May 18, 2020

I love Diggy so much. He keeps it real 100% of the time, and he has no time for any of this nonsense. He made a good observation about how Hannah seemed reluctant to say the word in the first place. Others have also pointed out that she specifically didn’t say the F-word in the same song. Interesting, for sure. But yeah, can’t argue with Diggy’s opinion on her apology.

Taylor Nolan

 

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I didn’t want to have to say anything, and I honestly shouldn’t have to say anything. ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Ya’ll know what is wrong here, I don’t need to break it down. ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣ I will say this…this is an opportunity for white people, especially those in bachelor nation, to practice being an ally to black people. It is an opportunity for you to hold other white people accountable when they’re not living or acting in a way that is anti-racist, to educate them and to educate yourselves on how to be an ally. Being an ally is a practice, and I’m going to call on you today to put that into practice. ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣ On a daily basis, black people put in an exhausting amount of emotional labor to educate white people on matters of race. When a black person puts in that emotional labor to educate, they then are often met with white fragility and put in even more emotional labor and support to console that white person in an attempt to sooth them so they can actually get to the root of the issue, be heard and seen, and actually educate. ⁣ ⁣ So, let’s not put this on black people to explain to other white people why saying the n word, in any context, is not okay…cause y’all know, and ya’ll need to start having these conversations with each other. ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣ You all know where I stand. Frankly, I’m not surprised. I have had countless interactions with a white person in that situation, and I’m just triggered. I have repeatedly had the word personally used against me throughout my life, in a way to belittle me, make me feel less than, and frankly to de-humanize me to justify treating me like shit. ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ Words carry weight. Words are powerful. Be intentional and thoughtful with the words you use, even in what you think is a playful settings, because your words matter. ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ So, #bachelornation, how are you going to show up as an ally?⁣⁣⁣

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Taylor Nolan made a post with a caption that called on white people, and especially those in Bachelor Nation, to take this opportunity to be true allies to people of color. She writes that how black people put in “an exhausting amount of emotional labor to educate white people on matters of race,” but that white people often aren’t receptive to what they hear. Particularly in Bachelor Nation, this is an important moment, and it’s telling who has spoken up, and who has remained quiet.

Danielle Maltby

Danielle Maltby, from Nick Viall’s season, put a couple great posts on her Instagram story. She echoes Taylor’s post, saying that “It is not the job of black women to educate white people.” She also addresses all the people who think that singing it in a song is okay, or that it’s okay because black people say it all the time. Those are terrible excuses, and Danielle is having none of it.

Cassie Randolph

I never thought I’d say this, but I’m really impressed by Cassie. Right off the bat, she says that saying the N-word is never okay, and acknowledges that her feelings don’t matter here. She cites the black women in Bachelor Nation who have already spoken on the topic, and says that we can all learn from this. While Tyler Cameron seemed too quick to forgive, Cassie really hit the right note of learning and growing, without acting like nothing bad happened in the first place.

It’s great that more people have spoken out in the last couple days, but there are still so many who have kept quiet. Chris Harrison, care to comment? No? Cool. I guess this shouldn’t be too surprising, but it’s still disappointing.

Images: Charley Gallay/Getty Images for PUMA; bachelorteaspill, Bekah, tylerjcameron3, nickviall, taymocha, dmmaltby, cassierandolph / Instagram; diggymoreland / Twitter

5 Celebs Who Missed The Point Of Earth Day

If you checked Instagram at all on Wednesday, you probably know that it was Earth Day. Established in 1970, the whole idea of Earth Day is to show support for environmental protection, and acknowledge the importance of protecting our planet. Pretty simple, right? Well, for most of us, this translates to an excuse to repost old travel photos, and write some caption about how much we love the planet. And that’s fine! Especially now that coronavirus has forced all of us to cancel our travel plans for the foreseeable future, it’s good to remind ourselves how great our planet is.

But, as with most things, celebrities love to put their own spin on the meaning of Earth Day, which often means missing the point completely. Here are some celebs who might need a little refresher on what Earth Day is supposed to be.

Paris Hilton

 

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Happy #EarthDay 😍🌏 Which city on Earth do you live in? 🤔

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I love Paris Hilton deeply, but her Instagram is pretty deranged. She exclusively posts videos, most of which are just photos with like, glittery backgrounds. For Earth Day, she posted a few times, but my favorite is this one of her holding a dog (I think?) in front of a picture of Earth. In one of Paris’ other posts, she said that “we have to take care of our world together,” but in this one, she just asks her followers “Which city on Earth do you live in?” I’m not sure exactly what’s wrong with the wording of this question, but something feels off. Either way, Paris is great, and I’m glad she loves Earth.

Kameron Westcott

When it comes to Earth Day on Instagram, posting your coolest travel photos is par for the course. The thing is, most of us could do a lot more to make our trips as sustainable as possible. But while we can all do little things to help the planet while traveling, you know what big thing rich people could do? Stop flying private! Private jets are horrible for the environment, which is why it’s so wild that Real Housewives of Dallas star Kameron Westcott thought she should include a PJ pic in her Earth Day carousel. Kam, no!! I’m not naive enough to think that most of these celebs aren’t flying private, but at least don’t post the jet on Earth Day! It’s just not that hard.

Scott Disick

 

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Earth day at its finest on my @juicedbikes

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Most of the Kardashian Krew didn’t even post about Earth Day, which might be for the best. God knows we don’t need to see Kylie Jenner posting environmental thirst traps. But Scott Disick didn’t forget about Earth Day! To mark the occasion, he shared a pic of him riding an electric bike on the beach. On the one hand, I guess an electric bike isn’t bad for the planet, but maybe keep it on the sidewalk? Idk, celebrating Earth Day by riding your $2,000 motorbike in nature just feels off to me. Also, is this post sponsored? Because it kind of feels sponsored.

Vanessa Hudgens

 

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Tea, wind, new moon and earth day. A pretty great combination 🌑🌍🌿🐚💚

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Our sometimes-problematic Coachella queen Vanessa Hudgens obviously had to celebrate Earth Day, which she did… indoors. What’s going on with her? This caption and look are giving me seriously weird vibes, and I need to know if Vanessa is okay. I feel like she’s going to come out of this quarantine as one of those women in Union Square who claims they can read your palm and predict when you’re going to die. Big Professor Trelawney energy, and it’s freaking me out.

Nick Viall

 

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Crazy to think Dinosaurs once roamed this planet. #happyearthday🌎

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Is this what comedy has come to in 2020? I’m supposed to laugh at Nick Viall’s Earth Day post of him running around on a beach with dinosaur arms? Nah, I’m good. I really need to stop following all these Bachelor people on Instagram, because I’m just giving myself a headache at this point.

Among the celebs I stalked, there were lots more Earth Day thirst traps, but whatever, I’m not the bikini pic police. We’re all losing our minds right now, so if you want to post a pic of you looking hot and pretend it’s about the planet, go for it. But don’t forget to like, actually be good to the planet, okay?

Images: Featureflash Photo Agency / Shutterstock.com; parishilton, kameronwestcott, letthelordbewithyou, vanessahudgens, nickviall / Instagram

The Problem With ‘Bachelor’ Stars Dating Real Celebrities

I’ve been a loyal member of Bachelor Nation for longer than is psychologically recommended (according to my therapist). In fact, I’m so invested in them that I spend almost seven months out of every year chained to my TV for two hours on Monday nights, just to watch these people find love while simultaneously bringing dishonor to their family name. I then meticulously record this aesthetically-pleasing car crash in a weekly recap so that we can all remember that one time Chris Harrison had to explain to Colton which hole to put it in for posterity purposes. One could even argue that watching The Bachelor has been my longest relationship to date. 

And, like any other toxic relationship in my life, I’ve put up with my fair share of bullsh*t. Getting rid of Jorge The Bartender on Bachelor in Paradise in favor of Wells, who is about as much a mixologist as I am a person with good credit? Fine. Letting Chris Harrison negotiate a new contract that allows him to speak seven words or less per episode, despite the fact that he is the glue that holds that insane asylum together? Also fine. Giving Nick Viall not one, not two, not three, but FOUR separate seasons to con the American public into thinking he could ever be a catch? Fine, fine, fine. But what I won’t stand for—what I absolutely refuse to allow—is Bachelor Nation infiltrating the lives of real celebs. 

For those of you who haven’t been paying attention, recently there has been a number of former Bachelor contestants vying for the hearts of actual celebrities, like Tyler C and Gigi Hadid, Demi Lovato and Mike Johnson, and as of last week, potentially Nick Viall and Rachel Bilson. And these are just the most recent couplings! 

When I first found out about Tyler C hooking up with Gigi Hadid, I was disappointed and a little upset. My friends, on the other hand, were ecstatic. “Good for Tyler!” They’d say. “He deserves only good things!” Look, I’m not going to pretend that watching 30 hours of TV footage of the man makes me an apt judge of his character, but I was inclined to agree. Good things? Sure. But going from dating a girl who names her zits and regularly butchers the English language to dating one of the highest-paid models in the world, who also happens to be an international superstar? Are you f*cking kidding me, Tyler?

Are you fcking kidding me

Bottom line? I felt lied to. I had just spent weeks this summer watching Tyler profess his love for Hannah B, a girl who is the definition of “hot mess” in Urban Dictionary, only to find out that what he was really searching for in a partner was 108 pounds of hairspray and coconut water. Part of those feelings of betrayal came from the fact that these guys are supposed to be somewhat attainable. These are supposed to be guys who would theoretically be into us, the viewer (assuming we are under a size 4, have at least 10K followers on Instagram, and look professionally airbrushed at all times). AND GIGI F*CKING HADID IS NOT LIKE US, THE VIEWER, IS SHE TYLER C?!

Furthermore, I’ve always considered the stars of Bachelor Nation to be their own sad, demented sorority/fraternity, that real stars—people with certifiable talents and ambition that goes beyond which Instagram sponsorship will pay for their Revolve credit card—would look down upon. Bachelor contestants are willing to debase themselves on national television, wear chicken suits and cry about being seagulls instead of pigeons. Why would a person who has won Emmys for acting or hit the Billboard Hot 100 want to date a person whose bio can be summed up as “social media participant” or “former high school athlete”?

Take Mike Johnson and Demi Lovato, for instance. Do I love them both? Yes. Do I want both of them to be happy? Also, yes. But Demi is a rockstar, a huge advocate for mental health, and has a world-wide fanbase, while Mike… has a really great smile? Calls women “queens”? Seriously, what does this guy do for a living and is he really good enough for MY queen Demi? Their budding relationship feels mismatched and off-kilter. That’s not to say some relationships can’t be mismatched, but this feels like something more than that.

And for the most part, it’s the men of BachelorNation who are sliding into the DMs of A-list stars. You don’t see Bibiana hitting up Michael B. Jordan’s IG comments section with flirty emojis or Kristina Schulman going on dinner dates with Chace Crawford. Which brings me to the real reason I’m so offended by these recent couplings: why is this phenomenon so one-sided?

We’ve talked at length about how The Bachelor men dating A-listers won’t be great for the franchise. It already felt like a real suspension of reality that these conventionally attractive, mildly successful men weren’t able to find love in real life and that’s why they came on the show. Over the years, it’s felt like less of the contestants are actually there to find love with the lead and more of them are there to find fame and careers on Instagram. And now the female leads must contend with the likes of Demi Lovato and Gigi Hadid potentially sliding into the guys’ DMs post-production, apparently. 

Hannah Brown

Aside from Lauren Bushnell’s recent engagement to country music singer Chris Lane, the majority of the ladies in Bachelor Nation are single or are dating in the Bachelor pool of potential suitors, but the men aren’t playing that game anymore. While Nick Viall serenades Summer Roberts on his podcast, Caelynn felt so desperate for a happy ending that she settled for a man who lives in his van.

More and more I watch this show and think, “man, she’s settling” and I’ve realized that’s not the kind of reality TV I want to watch anymore. This used to be a show about real people looking for love. Over time, that’s shifted into cosmetically enhanced, famous-adjacent people looking for love, and I was fine with that too. But I can’t stand for this new turn of events. I don’t watch The Bachelorette or Bachelor in Paradise to find out how a good looking dude from Florida somehow managed to bag a supermodel. I watch this show to root for the women, for them to find themselves and maybe find love too.

Hannah B set a new precedent  for Bachelorettes: that we can be funny and messy and say the wrong things and STILL be desirable—still be wife material. But watching her men declare that’s what they want in a wife and then go out and date international superstars in the next breath is enraging and upsetting. If this is what the next generation of Bachelor looks like, then count me out. 

Images: ABC; Giphy (2)

Nick Viall And Rachel Bilson Are Flirting On Instagram

Honestly, every single Bachelor alum needs to chill out. This morning, I was in the middle of writing an article about how Mike Johnson is hanging out with Demi Lovato, when someone sent me a brand new story about how Nick Viall and Rachel Bilson might be a thing. It’s a tough time when I have to interrupt thinking about Bachelor Nation’s next power couple to think about Bachelor Nation’s next next power couple. Seriously, it’s too much.

Out of all the Bachelor guys who have been linked to more famous women, Nick might make the most sense. After his appearance on four different Bachelor shows, he’s one of the best-known people in the franchise, and he’s always had kind of a celeb energy. He even dated January Jones, way back when Tyler Cameron was just a twinkle in Gigi Hadid’s eye.

But in the year and a half since Nick and January split up, he’s mostly just been single. Enter: Rachel Bilson. In the past, she famously dated her The OC costar Adam Brody, and she was engaged to Hayden Christensen until approximately two years ago. Since then, she’s kept her personal life low-key, and we don’t really know anything about who she’s been seeing for the last couple of years.

Back in July, Rachel Bilson was a guest on Nick’s podcast The Viall Files, which wasn’t really suspicious. He often has pretty good guests, and their conversation didn’t suggest that they were dating. Rachel said that she was dating, but hadn’t met anyone that she would introduce to her daughter. She said that “It would have to be a very serious relationship,” and that it’s a major red flag for her if a guy doesn’t seem enthusiastic about her daughter.

Her podcast appearance itself didn’t raise a lot of questions, but Nick’s Instagram post about the episode definitely made me raise an eyebrow.

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Will we choose to forgo our individual rooms…

A post shared by Nick Viall (@nickviall) on

How dare he tease us with a caption about fantasy suites?! This is unacceptable! But while Nick’s caption was funny, Rachel’s comment on the post sent me into a full-blown stress spiral.

Oh. My. God. The thing is, this could purely be two friends joking around, or it could be public foreplay. The flirty comments worked for Mike and Demi! While this happened a couple months ago, these two have still been interacting on Instagram more recently. Nick comments on a lot of her photos, and he commented on her most recent pic this weekend.

Most of Nick’s comments 0n Rachel’s photos are like this. It’s the kind of thing a middle school boy would say to his crush, and then she’s not sure if he hates her or wants to be her boyfriend. Honestly, this checks out for Nick Viall, because I feel like he exudes the emotional maturity of a middle school boy.

While these comments aren’t enough to assume that they’re officially dating or anything, I could definitely see it happening. This stuff would be kind of typical if they were seeing each other, but wanted to keep it low-key. Because of her appearance on his podcast, they don’t have to keep it a secret that they know each other, and now we all have to keep guessing about whether something more is going on.

So yeah, Nick Viall and Rachel Bilson may or may not be dating, and at this point we just don’t know. At this point, I’m already on the look out for the next next next Bachelor/celeb pairing, because it’s only a matter of time. Will Blake date a country music star? Will someone date Scheana from Vanderpump Rules? It’s a new world, and these are just the rules now.

Images: Shutterstock; nickviall (2), rachelbilson / Instagram

What Does ‘Bachelor’ Guys Dating Celebrities Mean For The Show?

When, oh when will I learn that scrolling through Instagram is only going to f*ck up my life? Apparently never. Last night, I was looking at my memes at like 10:30pm, as one does, when I came across one that seriously (and I mean seriously, not in the hyperbolic way I often mean it), upset me to my core.

 

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This ? is ? not ? a ? drill ? #TheBachelor #TheBachelorette #BachelorInParadise #BachelorNation #Bachelormemes

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Thanks for ruining my life, Brett!

Yep, apparently should-be Bachelor, Mike Johnson, and Demi Lovato are flirting. Because it wasn’t enough that Tyler C. started dating Gigi Hadid milliseconds after getting a drink with Hannah Brown, now we had to go lose another Bachelorette guy to an infinitely hotter female celebrity that none of us will ever come close to being. And as happy as I am for these ladies (especially Demi, more than anyone, she deserves a win), I also can’t help but feel bitter as all hell for the rest of us in Bachelor Nation. 

Over the past few seasons, my problem with The Bachelorette in particular, even compared to The Bachelor, has become increasingly hard to ignore. The whole premise of the show hinges on this: we are meant to believe that conventionally attractive, tall (I’ve met many of these guys—even the ones you would not expect are, in fact, tall), decent men with jobs just can’t find a woman to settle down with no matter how hard they try. They haven’t met the right woman yet! It just hasn’t happened for them! Yeah, right. Compound it with the fact that most of these guys are barely even 30, and it’s just impossible to suspend your disbelief quite that far. Like, hi, in the real world? If you’re a hot guy who isn’t a complete monster and you want to find a girlfriend? Step outside. Announce yourself. The women will find you. On the other hand, if I had a dollar for every smart, gorgeous, funny woman I know who can’t find a guy to commit, I’d have enough money to pay for at least a few therapy sessions, because clearly this all is dredging up some unresolved issues.

We’ve known for years that celebrities have watched The Bachelor. But seeing them shoot their shot and succeeding is a whole other level. It feels weird, doesn’t it? Like an invisible fourth wall is being broken. A crossover episode from two different shows on different networks with vastly different popularities. (Okay, so maybe that one’s a bit literal.) It makes sense, considering famous people are people, and people watch The Bachelor. But it’s only the men who are making this leap. Wells starts seeing Sarah Hyland, and a few years later they’re literally relationship goals. Tyler Cameron dates Gigi Hadid and goes to her grandmother’s funeral mere weeks after sliding into the DMs. Nick Viall goes through four Bachelor franchise shows, only to break up with his final pick and then date January Jones. Mike Johnson gets put up for Bachelor talks, but ends up flirting with Demi Lovato when (spoiler alert) he gets passed over. (Sorry guys, but multiple outlets are reporting that it’s going to be Peter.) Meanwhile, Lauren B gets Chris Lane, whose 668k Instagram followers are nothing to scoff at, but he’s not exactly a household name. So now it’s real: you can get a shot at A-list fame, at least by association, but so far it’s only possible for the men.

On the one hand, who can blame these guys? Why would you settle for some Alabama beauty queen or a 22-year-old influencer when you can have a literal supermodel? Who in their right mind would set their sights on a Paradise stint when you could have red carpet appearances and trips to the Grammys? Look, obviously anyone, guy or girl, going on a reality show wants fame to some degree—but now the degree to which they want fame is out there in the open, and even crazier, it’s not even out of reach for them. 

It’s not just on these guys, or the brave celebs who shoot their shot on Instagram. The female contestants on The Bachelor have their own credibility problems, namely, that they’re angling to become influencers. But here’s the thing: being an aspiring influencer does not preclude you from also wanting to find love. You can do both genuinely. You can’t exactly genuinely fall in love with the lead while biding your time until you can have your people connect with your all-time celebrity crush. And when you think about it, which is the bigger taste of fame: selling some detox teas on Instagram and getting invited to Stagecoach, or being taken as a guest to the VMAs after-party? In short, who actually has more to gain?

Part of the fun in watching is that these guys are supposed to be attainable, if not slightly aspirational for us regular folk. They seem to have the qualities many of us want. “Peter’s so cute!” “I love Mike, he’s so sweet and has the best smile!” “I die at how sensitive Derek is!” These are sentiments I see on Twitter, in Bachelor Facebook groups I’m in, and in my group chats with friends. The Bachelorette claims to present us with the homegrown, down-to-earth, good guy who means well and just genuinely wants a wife (or so we see in those awfully long intro videos). And when even he trades up? Whatever was left of this tenuous fantasy of men really going on The Bachelorette in hopes of finding love with the lead is shattered. As these seasons continue, if they continue, we’re going to have to do Olympic levels of mental gymnastics to believe any one of those guys really gives a sh*t about the Bachelorette and isn’t just angling for his next career move or a chance at dating Selena Gomez or whoever. It’s already been happening with the rise of influencers, and now it’s going to be even harder to buy what Mike Fleiss and co. are selling us. So the question will be: Will they change up the product or continue to peddle the same bullsh*t?

Images: Brett Vergara / Instagram

Nick Viall Wants To Clear Up Misconceptions About Essential Oils

What do you do after becoming the Bachelor? For most alumni, it’s hawking fit teas and watches on their Instagram. But some of them have legit businesses, Nick Viall being one of them. The two-time Bachelorette contestant and one-time Bachelor decided to team up with his sister and start his own business, Natural Habits essential oils. Naturally, we were curious, so we sat down with Nick to discuss his new venture. Nick talks all things essential oils, including his personal experiences with oils, the inception of Natural Habits, and how his oils are different from the ones your aunt’s friend keeps messaging you about on Facebook.

Read on to learn more about the beneficial ways you could be incorporating essential oils into your daily routine.

How did you learn about essential oils?
I’ve been using essential oils for going on six years now. I got into it because, like a lot of people, I get anxiety, and that anxiety would lead to me grinding my teeth, and subsequently, I’d get headaches. My sister, who’s a holistic nutritionist, is always looking for alternative forms of self-care and improvement, and so she turned me onto them and suggested I try them. I understand that when it comes to anxiety and headaches sometimes you have to medicate, but if you can try to do other things before you get to that stage it’s always beneficial, so I wanted to avoid relying on medication for anxiety.

Did you have any doubts about using essential oils at first?
I reluctantly started using essential oils. It honestly sounded kind of hocus-pocus-y to me. And the two biggest companies and players in the space are doTERRA and Young Living, who are, as a lot of people know, multi-level marketing (MLM) companies. And there are some red flags with that concept. But there’s other, smaller brands out there so I started using those, and to my surprise, they really helped with me sleeping, relaxing, and anxiety, and then especially also with headaches.

Why did you decide to start your own essential oils company?
It was a bit cumbersome for me because you can have individual essential oils, like peppermint oil is really popular for headaches, but when you blend essential oils together you can maximize the medicinal benefits. That’s kind of time-consuming for the average person. I just wanted to use them as a way to make myself feel better. I also found it surprisingly interesting that it was a challenge for me to find essential oils that were USDA Organic Certified. So that’s kind of how Natural Habits started, with two ideas in mind: first, being able to offer an organic oil that was certified by the USDA, and then we specialize in blends.

What does it mean that your oils are USDA Organic Certified?
So I can only speak in the essential oils space, I don’t know the qualifications for shampoo or whatever, but it’s just making sure there’s no contamination, there are no chemicals, especially when it comes on the farms. Like, we have to make sure there’s no runoff that comes into the soil, no chemicals are added, no adulterants are in there, and a lot has to do with the farming. And the fact that it is a third party, it’s the USDA that we have no relationship with other than the fact that they’re approving our oils so we can legally fly that symbol. There’s a lot of companies that would call themselves organic. Anyone can say they’re organic, but they can’t say they’re verified by the USDA.

What sets Natural Habits apart from other essential oil companies?
We’re not the only ones who do blends, but we specialize in those blends, and we’ve taken time to create the blends. And we try to keep it simple and safe. So the combination of us being USDA Organic, the fact that we’re simple. Right now, we only have four blends. We’re going to keep those for a while, the same four blends will be in our diffuser line. Eventually, I’m sure we’ll have more, but these are the four blends that I’ve used for the past five years that have really helped me, and honestly, if you use these on a regular basis, they will help your emotional, physical, and mental well-being. We try to make it simple for the average user, not over complicate it. I’ve seen the memes like, “What’s the essential oil for bae not calling me?” But it’s almost a little out of control, and I think some of the companies make it more confusing than it needs to be.

Which essential oil is best for getting people to stop talking to you

— Stephen Lee ?? (@shopkins776) November 30, 2018

What products do you currently offer?
Our roll-ons are out of the box, ready to go. You roll them on just like you would a perfume, anywhere your blood flows, on your temples and like that. We created four blends, Rise, Protect, Center, and Release, with very specific ideas. The idea being that these are habit forming, to get you through the day. Rise to wake up, get your energy boost. Protect for an overall immunity boost, and anything in terms of keeping your immunity up. Center is great for headaches, so if you are prone to headaches it’ll help reduce the headache that you have, but more importantly, it helps make sure you’re not getting that headache in the first place. And then Release is perfect for sleep and anxiety.

Why is diffusing essential oils better than burning candles?
Candles aren’t good for you. Basically, the fragrances and the chemicals they put in to make them burn longer and last longer, to smell the way they do, are all things that you’re literally putting on fire, and by putting them on fire you’re breathing in toxins. Think about how much beneficial using a diffuser : You can control how much or how little is going into the air, as opposed to setting your place on fire.

What is the mission of your company?
You know for me, obviously with my platform, I reach a lot of women, but gender neutral. I use essential oils, guys have anxiety and headaches too, and everyone can benefit from what they can do. I think we’re just trying to get the message out about essential oils and how they’re beneficial, and kind of fighting against some preconceived notions of essential oils. 

Do you have a favorite blend or oil that you go to?
Mine is the Release, I use that a lot. I mean, that’s the one that’s designed for sleep and anxiety, and that’s really what got me into it, and so that blend with peppermint, clary sage, lavender, and grapefruit is the one I use the most. I use it every day when I go to sleep, and I use it throughout the day if I ever go to yoga or do meditation, which I don’t do as much as I should. Thankfully, I get less and less headaches now, but the Center’s been really helpful for that. I find that my second favorite one is probably the Protect because I like the way it smells, and when I’m traveling I put it on and it helps with the immune system. I hate getting sick, and I always try to avoid it, so I’m using it every day for that extra boost.

How do you incorporate essential oils into your daily routine?
That’s how we came up with the name Natural Habits. should be habit forming, it should be something you do on a regular basis to maintain that healthy lifestyle. It’s like when you want to get in shape, you don’t just hit the gym and eat donuts, you look at a holistic approach to having a healthy lifestyle. Essential oils have been a big part of , and they’ve really helped me.

I’m sold! If you’re officially drinking the essential oils kool-aid too, check out Natural Habits’ current line of roll-on oil blends, and the diffuser line, available now. And for a limited time, Natural Habits is offering Betches readers a discount on their purchase. Use code BETCHES for 20% off your purchase on Natural Habits

Images: Natural Habits

There’s A New ‘Bachelor’ Spin-Off Show No One Asked For

Would you like to know what I think while I’m chained to my TV by Mike Fleiss nearly every single Monday of the year? “Boy, I sure do wish there was more Bachelor.” KIDDING. I actually think “why do I willingly submit myself to such torture,” or occasionally if I’m feeling less homicidal, “oooh should I get lip filler like hers?” But never do I ever wish for more Bachelor. Unfortunately, Kinetic Content did not hear my cries for help, and have decided to give the people what they really, really do not want (I promise, we don’t want it!) in the form of Rose Buds, a new reality show that follows former Bachelor cast members in their quest for Instagram sponsored ads lives post-show.

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I always thought there should be an after The Bachelor type show……..?

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PEOPLE exclusively confirmed that the alarmingly titled Rose Buds will star former Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants including human tear duct Ashley Iaconetti and the Applebee’s manager she blackmailed into marrying her, Jared Haibon. It will also feature Jade and Tanner Tolbert and their ticket into the lucrative mommy market daughter Emmy, as well as Mr. Giggles himself, Dean Unglert, and my least favorite Bachelor of all time—seriously, I still get a shiver down my spine every time I see a turtleneck—Nick Viall.

Can’t stop won’t stop using this gif

The article quotes Ashley saying, “I feel like everyone loves seeing the friendships that form on the show, but we never get enough in the one hour and 20 minutes of air time…I think this is why people love seeing the alums together on Instagram.” Of course we don’t get enough of the friendships on The Bachelor, Ashley. BECAUSE IT IS A SHOW ABOUT LOVE! Well, actually, it’s a show about manufactured drama featuring the most TV-friendly characters that are only interested in fame, but is designed to make us all think it’s about love. But we’re just going to ignore that fact, mmkay?! Regardless, she is on to something. People do like seeing the alums together on Instagram. The key word there being Instagram. And that’s where you all should stay. Except Peter Kraus, who I would totally be fine with starring in like one gratuitous sex scene on Outlander, but that’s where it ends.  

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We can’t wait for another gorgeous Janner face to be included in this group! Congratulations to our besties on baby two!!

A post shared by Ashley Iaconetti (@ashley_iaconetti) on

I do still have a few questions that the article doesn’t address. First of all, who was asking for this show? It certainly wasn’t me. I’m very busy with my letter writing campaign to bring back My So-Called Life, which I have been spearheading since 1995, so I don’t have time to DM random producers saying, “I’ve got an idea. Jade and Tanner’s recent Instagram ad except for longer. You’re welcome.” And while I see a few positive comments on Ashley’s IG announcement, I also notice that a lot of those are from other former Bachelor cast mates, not-so-subtly trying to work themselves onto this show.

So why these specific alums? And where is Jade’s bff Carly? They already have a podcast together and Carly also has an adorable child, who I’m sure she’d love to use (more than she already does!) to help her attain more money and fame! I can only assume the reason she’s not on this show is because America as a whole has not recovered from the slobber filled Carly/Evan pepper kiss, and refuses to put them back on TV. Small mercies. The show is also giving Ashley I’s sister Lauren another chance on reality TV, after she spent her whole time on Paradise unable to hide her disdain for these people. Lauren I, you are all of us.

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Thank you golden hour for allowing me not to use Facetune and thank you @marianalvergara for keeping my brows lifted and skin glowing ?

A post shared by Lauren Iaconetti (@laurenai) on

In case you forgot that she looks like Ashley, only blonder

So what storylines will they be following on the show? PEOPLE tells us we will see Ashley and Jared moving in together prior to their wedding and Jade and Tanner preparing for their new baby. But based on this preview and literally nothing else, I will also guess that the men get spray tans together and someone accidentally sees someone else’s junk and Dean giggles about it, and that they will all go skydiving and someone will get minimally injured and Dean giggles about it. Finally, I am willing to give this show some props because it’s being produced by the team that does Married at First Sight, a show I love because I enjoy seeing people’s lives be more awkward than my own. It’s worth a watch, betches.

Rose Buds will premiere on KineticContentTV (what even is that?) on May 8th. So even though I claim I won’t be watching, let’s be real, I’ll go  chain myself to my couch now.

Images: Giphy; ashley_iaconetti, laurenai/Instagram