WTF Is Going On With Zayn Malik, Gigi Hadid, And Yolanda Hadid?

Between Thursday afternoon and Friday morning, allegations have surfaced that Zayn Malik struck Yolanda Hadid and verbally harassed his partner Gigi Hadid, and reports emerged that the singer/supermodel couple has broken up. That’s a lot, I know. If you were busy binging old seasons of Selling Sunset last night with your phone turned to silent, that news probably hit you harder than your last hangover. So let’s start from the beginning and break down a comprehensive timeline of the allegations and responses so far.

On Thursday afternoon, TMZ released a shocking report that Yolanda Hadid was alleging she was struck by Zayn. That initial report included vague details, no citation to court documents, and didn’t have any direct quotes from Yolanda or her reps. 

Since the initial report Thursday afternoon, TMZ has obtained and reviewed court documents which state that Zayn, who shares a 1-year-old daughter with Gigi, was charged with four counts of harassment against Yolanda AND Gigi. 

Shortly after that initial TMZ report was released, Zayn took a page from the canceled-celeb-trying to apologize PR handbook and tweeted a screenshotted iPhone Notes App explanation that vehemently denied any physical action taken against Yolanda. The tweet also stated that the allegations of him striking Yolanda were “‘leaked’ to the press”, and that he wanted to keep this matter private in an effort to protect Gigi and their daughter, Khai. 

Although he denied any physical altercation, he didn’t deny that an incident took place. He wrote that he and a member from Gigi’s family got into an “argument… while my partner was away several weeks ago”. We later learned that “several weeks ago” = September 29, while Gigi was in Paris for fashion week. 

Following Zayn’s adamant denial, Gigi issued a statement to People via a rep asking for privacy and explaining that she’s “solely focused on the best for Khai”.

Then, the news broke that Gigi and Zayn had split. 

So that’s what we went to bed with: Zayn allegedly struck Yolanda, Gigi wanted privacy, and the couple had split. That’s all the tea that could possibly be split about an A-list couple with PR tightly under wraps, right? Nope.

Shit really hit the fan Friday morning. Court documents were discovered and reviewed by outlets including Elle and TMZ that state that Zayn was charged with four counts of harassment. The documents contain allegations that Zayn called Yolanda a “f***ing Dutch slut” and that he “grabbed and shoved into a dresser causing mental anguish and physical pain”. 

Zayn also allegedly harassed Gigi, yelling at her on a phone call to “strap some f”*cking balls and defend your partner against your f*cking mother in my house”. Zayn also allegedly yelled at a security guard, whom TMZ says he “tried to fight”. 

Zayn has pleaded no contest to the harassment charges and was fined. TMZ reports that Zayn received 90 days probation for each charge, or 360 days in total, and has to take an anger management class and complete a domestic violence program. He is not permitted to have contact with Yolanda or the security guard.

Sources “familiar with the situation” tell TMZ that Gigi and Zayn aren’t together anymore “and it’s been that way for a while”—since about a month ago.

Image: Stephane Cardinale – Corbis/Corbis via Getty Images

Did Gigi Hadid Have Her Baby? An Investigation

Literally the only thing that’s been getting me up out of bed in the morning during these harrowing times is knowing that Gigi Hadid and Zayn’s baby is about to strut into the world having already won the genetic lottery. When TMZ first broke the news that Gigi was 20 weeks along back in April, it didn’t even take, like, three hours for her mom Yolanda Hadid to word-vomit the news against Gigi’s will

For the record, I’m not discrediting Gigi’s ability to pull a Kylie Jenner on us and keep this baby a secret. For god’s sake, she literally fooled us all by walking the runways during Fashion Week while pregnant, which should be a clear-cut sign that she can pop this kid out any day without ever needing to tell a soul. 

The Hadids’ inability to keep their cool, on the other hand, literally caused poor Gigi to have to confirm the news of her pregnancy to Jimmy Fallon of all people, and don’t even get me started on that. But since we’ve somehow blinked and crept right into September, aka Gigi’s due-month, the entire Hadid family has collectively lost their sh*t by writing poems, sobbing uncontrollably, and basically giving media outlets free press. And there’s one internet theory that could explain the family’s behavior: Gigi has already given birth, and they just can’t help themselves from going apesh*t. But does this theory hold any water (no pun intended)? We investigated so you can sit back and continue on your day with your Selling Sunset binge.

The Poem

Bless Mohamed Hadid and his zero regard for his very high-profile supermodel daughter’s privacy, because he wrote and posted a poem to Instagram that basically said, “Roses are red, violets are blue, your baby was born, so proud of you.” 

Mohamed Hadid is so pure. Congrats to Gigi Hadid & Zayn Malik on the birth of their child Xx pic.twitter.com/bfi0oKkdq8

— Aleesha Khaliq (@a_leesha1) September 16, 2020

Ok, so it was a little more cryptic and a lot more thoughtful, but based on the fact that he’s already calling himself a grandpa and that he vowed to protect this child ‘til death do him part, something has clearly kicked Mo square in the feels, and that something could very well be an excruciating birth contraction. 

Not to mention, he even captioned the photo, “In the name of God the merciful, I want to say l love you and I’m so proud of you @gigihadid.” Like… what else would he be referring to? Being proud of his daughter for getting knocked up by an ex-boy-bander? I think not.

Anyway, Mohamed has since deleted his poem on account of the internet literally shattering, and his Instagram being bombarded with One Direction stans asking if Gigi and Zayn had their baby. He even responded to a fan who straight-up asked for the no-B.S. truth about whether or not Gigi had given birth, saying, “no not yet.”

. Mohamed Hadid via IG

“Did Gigi give birth to her baby”

Mohamed: “ no not yet” pic.twitter.com/JwAUvF9saC

— ZTΔTUS (@ztatus) September 16, 2020

Yeah, sure Jan.

Bella’s Food Baby

 

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june 11, 2020 …🖤two buns in the oven except mine is from my burger and gigi’s is from @zayn ✨👼🏼✨ i love you both so freaking much -can’tstopcrying 🥺

A post shared by Bella 🦋 (@bellahadid) on

K, first off, I have a bone to pick with this photo that Bella Hadid posted earlier this week. How do you look like THAT after ingesting an entire burger? Someone please humor me. Like, people actually have to pay work to get that belly (or lack thereof), but whatever, my raging jealousy is not why we’re here today.

What really made people believe that Gigi gave birth or had already gone into labor was the fact that this photo was taken back in June and was posted three months later… literally out of nowhere. Also, Bella wrote at the end of her caption, “I love you both so freaking much—can’t stop crying.” Bella was def motivated to post this by something, and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t remorse from pretending to inhale that quarter-pounder.

Gigi’s Livestream

Ok, so I’m totally reaching here, but nobody voluntarily turns on a country music award show unless they’re bored out of their mind or in need of some white background noise. A fan noticed that Gigi joined the livestream for last night’s ACM Awards, so could it possible that Gigi finally had some down time after learning how to swaddle in Hospital Room A?

GIGI HADID JUST JOINED THE LIVE STREAM FOR THE ACM AWARDS OMGHAJDDJ SHES SO SUPPORTIVE I LOVE HER pic.twitter.com/WljDQf4CGa

— cody (@codyswiftgomez) September 17, 2020

It’s possible, but she probably just joined in to watch her BFF Taylor Swift perform, because if we’re being real here, that’s the only reason anyone would’ve watched. 

Yolanda’s Mouth

Why is it that the Hadid parents that can’t seem to keep their mouths shut on behalf of their children? Not that I’m complaining, because shout-out to Yolanda Hadid, who just made my job that much easier, but literally a day after TMZ broke the news about the pregnancy, Yolanda let the cat out of the bag. 

She appeared on a Dutch celebrity news show RTL Boulevard, and not only gushed about how excited she is to become an “Oma” but even gave away Gigi’s due date. She said, “Still shocked our little secret got leaked to the press. Of course we are so excited. I’m excited to become in Oma in September, especially after I lost my mom so recently.”

 

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It’s official! Yolanda Hadid heeft aan ons bevestigd dat haar dochter Gigi inderdaad zwanger is. In september wordt ze oma. 💕 #rtlboulevard #gigihadid #zaynmalik (📸: @yolanda.hadid)

A post shared by RTLBoulevard (@rtlboulevard) on

This interview also came at the end of April when it was reported that Gigi was already 20 weeks along, which would mean that if she got pregnant at the end of December, she’d be due in 9 months aka September. But whatever, none of this hard-hitting investigative journalism even matters as Yolanda clearly did the lord’s work.  

Moral of the story? The Hadid family couldn’t keep a secret if their lives (and NDAs) depended on it. While we can’t say for sure whether or not Gigi has actually had her baby, it wouldn’t surprise us if she kept her birth super low-key. And can you blame us for being excited to behold the baby who will probably rule over us all one day?

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Images: Shutterstock.com; rtlboulevard, bellahadid, / Instagram; @codyswiftgomez, @a_leesha1, @ztatus / Twitter

All The Current Celeb Pregnancies You Need To Know About

Am I the only one who feels like every single celebrity is having a baby this year? In the last month alone, Katy Perry, Lea Michele, Hilaria Baldwin, Teyana Taylor, and Katherine Schwarzenegger have all given birth. Just in the last month!! But the 2020 baby train isn’t slowing down anytime soon. In the past several months, there have been many celebrity pregnancy announcements, from A-listers to reality stars, and it’s honestly too much to keep up with. But we can at least try, right? From the ones you’re sick of hearing about, to the ones you’re not sure if you ever heard about in the first place, here are all the celeb pregnancies you need to know about.

Ashlee Simpson Ross

 

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We are pregnant and we are so excited to share it with everyone. Baby #3 ♥ Thank you @clearblue #clearbluepartner #clearblueconfirmed During this unprecedented time, we know pregnant women may be under greater stress which is why we are supporting @marchofdimes Mom and Baby #COVID19 Intervention and Support Fund. Check out their Instagram page to see how they are helping moms and babies get the care they need now and in the future.

A post shared by Ashlee Simpson Ross (@ashleesimpsonross) on

Ashlee Simpson, who is now married to Diana Ross’s son Evan (tbt to Pete Wentz), announced her third pregnancy back at the end of April. You’ll notice that Ashlee’s announcement is part of a trend throughout this list: announcing your baby in partnership with a pregnancy test brand. We thought this was wild last year when Malika Haqq did it, but it turns out she was just ahead of the curve. In a nice twist, Ashlee and Clear Blue also partnered to support COVID relief through the March of Dimes, so this is one case of pregnancy test spon that I can really get behind. Ashlee’s fam is actually super adorable, so stalk her Instagram if you need some cute kids in your life.

Jade Roper Tolbert

 

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HERE WE GROW AGAIN!!! It feels so good to be able to finally talk about this pregnancy! If you noticed I haven’t been on social media much the past couple of months, it’s because I was dealing with terrible nausea and fatigue, on top of taking care of two kiddos during a pandemic. Although this time has its uncertainties, we are so thankful and excited for this baby. I truly believe babies being born during this time are here for a special reason, to be light workers. We are beyond happy to love another baby, to give Emmy and Brooks another sibling and to have our children be so close! #partyof5 #babynumber3

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It’s baby number three for Bachelor In Paradise alums Jade and Tanner! After kicking off this year by winning, and then losing, a million dollars in fantasy football due to ~cheating~, things have taken a positive turn for the Tolberts, with their latest pregnancy announcement coming in May. Jade posted this week that she’s at 29 weeks, so we can expect another fall baby. Whether you closely follow these two or not, they seem to be one of the least messy couples to ever come out of Paradise, so I say cheers to that.

Stassi Schroeder

 

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We’re having a baby girl 💕

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It was a tumultuous start to the summer for Vanderpump Rules OG Stassi Schroeder, who announced her pregnancy just days after being fired from VPR along with three other cast members for past racist behavior. For those who watched the show, the baby news seemed to come out of nowhere, and the timing of the announcement seemed… strategic. But regardless, Stassi’s pregnancy is definitely real, and she updated her followers later in June that the baby is a girl. As for Stassi’s next career move now that Pump Rules is off the table, we still don’t know, but next week, she’ll sit down with Tamron Hall for her first interview since her firing.

Nicki Minaj

 

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#Preggers 💛

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Fans were skeptical last fall when Nicki Minaj announced she was retiring to have a family, but it turns out that was half true. She’s released music since then, and even scored her first two number-one songs, but she is, in fact, starting a family with husband Kenneth Petty. She announced her pregnancy with a typically over-the-top photoshoot in July, complete with yellow and blue wigs, bedazzled bikinis, and heels that I don’t believe anyone could possibly walk in. She hasn’t shared much about her pregnancy since then, but she’s been featured on new songs from A$AP Ferg and Ty Dolla $ign, so she still doesn’t seem too committed to the whole
“retirement” thing.

Morgan Stewart

 

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She may not be great at math but at least we know she’ll be well dressed 🥰

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It’s been a whirlwind summer for Morgan Stewart, who got engaged to Jordan McGraw (Dr. Phil’s son) in July, and announced her pregnancy in August. Honestly, she’s making the most of her time during this pandemic, which begs the question, should I be engaged and having a baby right now? Much to consider. Last summer, people (me) were heartbroken when Morgan announced she and her Rich Kids of Beverly Hills co-star Brendan Fitzpatrick were divorcing, but now she looks happier than ever, so good for her.

Khadijah Haqq McCray

 

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I’m pregnant!!! I couldn’t wait to share that my family is growing and we will soon welcome a new baby in our home. I decided to use @ClearBlue because this has always been the most important result in my life. I love how their digital pregnancy test builds excitement by showing a countdown feature, assuring your answer is coming… And for me it displayed PREGNANT! No time for guessing, I need accuracy. Thank you #ClearBlue for delivering this amazing news to myself, my family and friends! #ClearblueConfirmed #ClearbluePartner

A post shared by Khadijah Haqq McCray (@foreverkhadijah) on

This summer, Khadijah followed in her twin sister’s footsteps, and announced her pregnancy with a Clear Blue ad—it runs in the family! For Khadijah, this is her third child with husband Bobby McCray, a former NFL player whom she married in 2010. Khadijah flies under the Kardashian radar, but low-key it seems like she has the healthiest relationship of anyone in their circle.

Chrissy Teigen

 

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important

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Chrissy Teigen and John Legend already have two of the cutest kids in Hollywood, and they recently announced that they have a third baby on the way. Chrissy did a classic bump reveal in John’s most recent music video, and later officially confirmed the news on social media. Naturally, Chrissy has been having fun with pregnancy content on social media, like when she posted this tabloid headline about herself. We love a queen with a Google Alert set for her name. This week, she shared that her doctor put her on bed rest for two weeks, so hopefully everything is okay, but she said she’s taking this time to learn how to sew costumes for her kids—can’t wait to see how that turns out.

Emma Roberts

 

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Me…and my two favorite guys 💙💙

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Last spring, Emma Roberts began dating Garrett Hedlund shortly after ending her seven-year relationship with Evan Peters, and a little over a year later, she announced that she and Hedlund are expecting their first child. She shared that the baby is a boy with a cheeky Instagram caption, commenting that Garrett and her baby are “my two favorite guys.” To anyone thinking about doing an elaborate gender reveal that may start a wildfire—this is enough.

Bindi Irwin

 

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Reflecting on when we found out that we are going to be parents. ❤️ Discovering that I was going to become a mother will forever be a moment where time stood still. I took a test and ran into the kitchen where Chandler was making us tea. He didn’t hear me come in so I speechlessly watched him pouring the water into my most loved hedgehog mug. This news would change the course of our future in the best way. I started crying tears of pure joy and told my sweetheart husband that my test was positive. We were beaming while our adorable puppy Piggy sat on our feet wondering what was going on. It reminded me of just how perceptive animals are. We sat together with tea talking about the future and how we were going to share such wonderful, life changing news with the people that we love. In that short span of time the gorgeous baby I’m carrying became the most important part of our lives. It is such a blessing knowing that this tiny person has chosen us as parents. Our baby Wildlife Warrior is going to be so very loved by our families and entire Australia Zoo team. I can’t wait to find out what this amazing new soul loves in life, and experience the world all over again through their eyes.

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In case you want to feel old today, Bindi Irwin—yes, the late Crocodile Hunter’s daughter—is now married, and expecting her first child. She’s dedicated her life to carrying on her late father’s legacy, including marrying her husband Chandler in a very intimate ceremony at Australia Zoo at the beginning of the pandemic. Chandler and Bindi both work at the zoo, and their baby will no doubt be wrangling snakes before it can form full sentences.

Lala Kent

It was only a matter of time before the Vanderpump Rules cast started popping out kids, and Lala Kent was the second former SURver of the summer to make a pregnancy announcement. She’s currently engaged to Randall Emmett (who already has two adorable kids), and with their wedding postponed until 2021 due t0 the pandemic, what better time to start a family? They announced the news on their podcast on Lala’s 30th birthday, and this week Randall posted an ultrasound—revealing that Lala is 10 weeks along—on his Instagram story. Cheers to these two, because they’ve certainly come a long way since the days of Lala only referring to Randall enigmatically as “my man”.

Ashley Darby

 

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There’s no hiding this big belly anymore! We are elated to share our news with you! To say we are thankful is an absolute understatement ♥️ #RHOP

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We’ve seen Ashley Darby go through a lot on The Real Housewives of Potomac, and on the current season, she’s struggling with postpartum depression after giving birth to her first baby, Dean. But she’s come a long way since then, and this week, she shared that she and her husband Michael are expecting a second child in early 2021. Looks like her storyline for season six is all set—hopefully she can mostly steer clear of drama with the other ladies and enjoy a smooth pregnancy.

Mandy Moore

 

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Baby Boy Goldsmith coming early 2021 💙

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On September 24th, Mandy Moore announced via Instagram that she and husband Taylor Goldsmith are expecting a baby boy together in early 2021. Mandy and Taylor got married back in 2018, and they’ll both be first-time parents. Considering that we’ve known Mandy Moore for basically forever, it’ll be exciting to see her on the journey of becoming a mom.

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Images: Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com; gigihadid, ashleesimpsonross, jadelizroper, stassischroeder, nickiminaj, kelis, morganstewart, foreverkhadijah, chrissyteigen, emmaroberts, bindisueirwin, randallemmettfilms, ashleyboalchdarby / Instagram

The Complete Timeline Of Gigi & Zayn’s Relationship

On Tuesday afternoon, we were all just minding our own business, watching TV and drinking wine while pretending to work, when TMZ hit us with the bombshell that Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malik are having a baby. While this is exciting news, and a welcome break from the nonstop mess that has been 2020 s0 far, I was not at all prepared. A baby? Now?!? And Gigi is allegedly 20 weeks pregnant already! How long have they even been back together??

Basically, I had a lot of questions, and judging from lots of tweets and posts I saw, I wasn’t the only one. Obviously, Gigi and Zayn have been a ~thing~ for a long time, but it feels like they’ve often flown under the radar as a couple. So, now that a Zigi baby is (likely) coming soon, this feels like the perfect time to break down the timeline of Gigi and Zayn’s relationship, once and for all.

November 2015: Round 1

Gigi and Zayn first started dating in November 2015, which feels like it was a century ago. Zayn later told The Evening Standard in an interview that they met at a Victoria’s Secret party, when he recognized her “from her picture.” Lol, sure. When Us Weekly first reported that they were together, Gigi was fresh off her breakup with Joe Jonas, and Zayn had most recently dated Little Mix’s Perrie Edwards. Gigi was already at the top of the modeling game, and Zayn was getting ready to make his solo debut after leaving One Direction earlier that year. What a time to be alive, truly.

Zayn just posted this pic of him and Gigi pic.twitter.com/Oqj9DSuAgH

— Zayn Daily News (@zayndailynews) December 20, 2015

In December, Zayn made their relationship Instagram official with this Polaroid post. It’s since been deleted, because a lot has gone down since 2015, but thankfully the dedicated Zayn fan accounts of the internet have preserved it for posterity. The next month, Gigi posted a faceless picture of Zayn holding her cat, so things were officially official. Ah, young love.

In January 2016, Zayn released his debut single “Pillowtalk”, and Gigi Hadid was heavily featured in the video. Actually, the whole video is pretty much them making out with trippy effects. We all knew that they were dating, but Zayn making Gigi the star of his first solo video (and the heavy PDA) felt like a major milestone.

They posted some more low-key pictures of each other in early 2016, but things were kicked into high gear that spring. In April, they did their first photoshoot as a couple (for Vogue, naturally), and in May, they made their red carpet debut at the Met Gala. I can’t even get a guy to make a debut at a casual happy hour with friends, so needless to say I’m impressed. I love that Gigi writes in her caption “I love a themed party”, as if this is a frat luau and she’s excited to wear her boyfriend’s Hawaiian shirt. Stars, they’re just like us.

 

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love a themed party 😉 🤖 #manusxmachina Thank you so much @voguemagazine for another beautiful Met Gala xx

A post shared by Gigi Hadid (@gigihadid) on

June 2016: Breakup Rumors

Then, in June 2016, E! News reported that Gigi and Zayn had called it quits. E! reported to have confirmation of the breakup from two different sources, but Gigi shut down the rumors in an interview with Elle, in which she mentioned her boyfriend multiple times, despite never actually saying his name. Things remained pretty drama free for the rest of 2016, and they attended many events together, including London and Paris Fashion Weeks.

2017: No Stress, No Drama

2017 kicked off with some fresh gossip, when photos of Gigi wearing a ring on that finger sparked rumors of an engagement. The ring is like, the world’s thinnest band of plain gold, so I’m pretty sure it was just like, jewelry, because I doubt Gigi would accept an engagement ring like that. Things stayed strong for pretty much all of 2017, and that summer, they became just the third couple to be featured on the cover of Vogue together. At this point, they were a power couple, no doubt about it.

 

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March 2018: Breakup No. 1

pic.twitter.com/4st0iU9zHg

— zayn (@zaynmalik) March 13, 2018

After more than two years together, and essentially no public-facing drama, Gigi and Zayn suddenly broke up in March 2018. After the news was first reported by The Sun, both of them confirmed the news on Twitter with written statements. Neither of them went with the typical Notes App screenshot, which I appreciate, but I need to know what Zayn chose this obnoxious fake typewriter font.

pic.twitter.com/dEDHlyH8P3

— Gigi Hadid (@GiGiHadid) March 13, 2018

Gigi’s statement, with completely different formatting, struck a similarly positive tone, but neither of them gave us any glimpse into what actually happened to cause the breakup. This made sense, considering that they had always kept things pretty private, but it wasn’t very satisfying for us, the viewers.

Summer 2018: WTF Is Going On?

Over the next several months after the official breakup, things remained hazy. In April, Gigi and Zayn were spotted kissing each other, and throughout the summer, there were various tabloid stories about how they were spending time together, or keeping things casual, or they weren’t on the same page about their relationship.

October 2018: Round 2

Things finally went back to normal in October 2018, when Gigi posted a photo of her snuggling Zayn, with a caption about her “happy place.” Judging from all the rumors and sources, it seems like Gigi and Zayn were never like, fully broken up for more than a month or two, but I think we can all relate to needing time to figure out what the f*ck is going on in a relationship.

Gigi Hadid & Zayn cuddle up in new Instagram photo: “flyin home to my happy place ❤️” pic.twitter.com/HpMEYUsQO4

— Pop Crave (@PopCrave) October 22, 2018

January 2019: Never Mind

But things didn’t last so long the second time around, and in January 2019, both E! News and ET separately reported that Gigi and Zayn had broken up once again, “after trying for a long time.” Unlike their breakup in 2018, this one seemed pretty final. There were no more paparazzi pics of them sneaking around together, and no more anonymous sources making claims about a reconciliation. After more than three years of total time in each other’s lives, it seemed like things were really over.

August 2019: Tyler Enters The Picture

Then, in August of last year, things really seemed like they were over when Gigi started hanging out with Tyler Cameron. For several weeks, they were spotted together nearly every day, and things looked like they were getting pretty serious. Tyler met Gigi’s famous friends, including Serena Williams and Taylor Swift, and he even went to the Netherlands for her grandmother’s funeral!

November 2019: Tyler Leaves The Picture

But after things fizzled out with Tyler, it was reported in November (by E! Newsof course) that Gigi was talking to Zayn once again. Gigi basically confirmed this in December when she tagged Zayn’s mom in an Instagram story, but we got the real confirmation in January, when they were finally spotted together by the paparazzi, almost exactly a year after their previous breakup.

February 2019: Round 3

 

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HEY VALENTINE Z on the farm ♡ Dec 2019

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Gigi made things officially official on Valentine’s Day, when she posted a pic of Zayn on her disposable camera Instagram. We’re back in business, baby! Then, just a week later, came my favorite moment of this entire relationship. After Jake Paul tweeted complaining that Zayn didn’t want to hang out with him and his friends in Vegas, Gigi mercilessly clapped back. While I’m not usually a fan of calling straight guys “kings,” this is just too good. I will never be over “unbothered by your irrelevant ugly ass”, and I might just need it on my grave.

Lol cause he doesn’t care to hang w you and your embarrassing crew of YouTube groupies ..? Home alone with his best friends like a respectful king cause he has me, sweetie. Unbothered by your irrelevant ugly ass. Go to bed …

— Gigi Hadid (@GiGiHadid) February 23, 2020

And of course, this entire four-year journey culminated yesterday, with the reports that Gigi is pregnant with Zayn’s baby. Considering that the soonest they got back together was November, if Gigi really is 20 weeks, that would mean she got pregnant pretty quick after they started hanging out again. While we’re still waiting for official confirmation, which we’ll probably get in the form of a grainy polaroid four months from now, I hope the report is true. These two obviously love each other, and something about this time just feels different. I don’t know why I care so much about these people, but I hope they’re happy!

Images: Stephane Cardinale – Corbis / Contributor / Getty Images; zayndailynews, zaynmalik, gigihadid, popcrave / Twitter; gigihadid / Instagram; ZAYN / YouTube

TMZ Reports Gigi Hadid Is Pregnant

Ask for more celebrity gossip amidst quarantine and ye shall receive, friends. On Sunday, Kristin Cavallari announced her unexpected divorce from Jay Cutler, and between that news alone and the inconsistent details regarding the cause of their split, I thought we were set for the month as far as celebrity news goes. But now we have bigger fish to fry, and by fry I mean analyze, since TMZ reports that Gigi Hadid is pregnant, expecting a baby with Zayn Malik.

TMZ broke the exclusive that Gigi Hadid is pregnant, claiming “family sources for the couple tell us … Gigi is 20 weeks along.” They also claim that it’s unclear if they know the sex of the baby yet, but “both of their families are very excited”. Now, I know that this is just one report from TMZ, but I do feel like they don’t usually tend to get it wrong. They broke the news of Kylie’s pregnancy, so I feel like, at least when it comes to secretive celebrity pregnancies, they can be trusted.

Just two days ago, Gigi posted a Boomerang on her Instagram from her 25th birthday celebration, featuring those giant number balloons every Instagram influencer is probably contractually obligated to pose with. Gigi’s birthday is April 23rd, and although the photos were posted on the 26th, she does not look even remotely pregnant, so the fact that TMZ is reporting that she is already 20 weeks along is definitely interesting. Like, she doesn’t even look like she’s pregnant with a food baby here. Then again, I could 100% see Gigi Hadid being one of those women who remains tiny throughout a pregnancy. She just would. Sigh, some people just have it all.

 

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According to another Instagram post, Gigi celebrated her 25th birthday with her mom, Yolanda, her sister, Bella, Zayn, and also a giant cake shaped like a bagel made by the Cake Boss, Buddy Valastro himself. Cool, so that’s two foods I’m not convinced Gigi actually eats.

 

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Had the sweetest day celebrating my 25th birthday with my quarantine family, who made it so special for me, along with all the love I felt from all over the world! Thank you to everyone for the birthday messages, I carried you with me yesterday!! 💛🙏 I am grateful and lucky that my family and friends -near and far- are healthy and safe, and although I missed loved ones I wish I could have celebrated with, know that these times will make us even more grateful for togetherness to be had in the future ! I will never forget my 25th bday! +++The icing on the perfect quarantine bday was finding out my surprise everything-bagel-cake was made by the one and only Cake Boss @buddyvalastro who I have watched for over a decade. I CRIED REAL TEARS! BUDDY! This is a dream come true. I can’t believe you made this cake for me while the bakery is closed. It means more to me than you know, and when we hopefully meet some day you will truly know that there almost isn’t an episode I’ve missed. 10/10 would be a Carlo’s intern whenever needed. 😆 Grateful, honored, your biggest fan. 🥯🥯🥯🥯🍰

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I for one wish Gigi and Zayn all the best, and would like to congratulate them in advance for having the most beautiful child the world has ever seen.

Images: Shutterstock.com

5 Lies The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Told Us

Pour your zero-carb appetite suppressant out for the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show, which was officially canceled yesterday in a statement by their parent company, L Brands. Apparently, the VS fashion show is taking the year off to “evolve the messaging” of the brand, aka to consider working with people who are not six foot tall cis women that weigh the same as an apple. In the #MeToo era, it comes as no surprise that a show as blatantly male gaze-y as the VS Fashion Show would have to rebrand (also, model Shanina Shaik leaked the news to the Daily Telegraph back in July). As someone who, for whatever reason, found herself watching the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show year after year, the news is bittersweet. Sure, I won’t be subjected to a parade of damaging body standards that leave me seriously considering an all-soup diet, but I also won’t get to see Kendall Jenner wearing a space bra covered in glitter.

Obviously, I’m kidding. I will not miss wasting three hours on this event, which I inevitably would have done because I’m a sick millennial who is addicted to screens. But in honor of this iconic show’s demise, here are five iconic lies they’ve told us over the years. Here’s hoping the Hadid sisters use the show’s end as an excuse to let loose and try a piece of cheese.

1. This Is What Normal People Look Like In Underwear

Let’s be clear: I’m not saying that nobody looks like this. Some people do! And all 20 of them are in the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Yes, there are a blessed few who pop out of the womb with the genetics to be 5’10 and 119 pounds, but for most of us, that is just not happening. And for the people who are 5’1o and 119 pounds? Yeah, they mostly don’t look like this:

Anyway, back to watching Netflix on my couch wondering why I don’t have a six pack even though I went to the gym for 20 minutes three months ago.

2. This Is An Appropriate Costume

Yeah…don’t do this. Don’t even think about doing this. Unless you’re actually Native American*, in which case do whatever the hell you want. You’ve been through a lot. This photo is of Karlie Kloss from the 2012 VS Fashion Show, approximately 500 years after Columbus sailed the ocean blue and made this not okay to do. (Rhyme intended.) Funnily enough, Karlie stopped walking for VS in 2014 after “studying feminist theory” at NYU and realizing it sent harmful messages to young girls. Models! They’re just like us! (Getting woke after taking one women’s studies class in college.)

Also, anyone who wants to comment on this post saying VS was just trying to “honor” Native American culture is welcome to do so, but they also legally must Venmo me $12. Call it an ignorance tax.

*finding out you’re .00007% Chippewa on 23andMe doesn’t count. 

3. This Is What A 37-Year-Old Woman Looks Like

This photo is from last year’s show, where a 37-year-old Adriana Lima walked her final runway. Now, I’m not saying that a woman in her late thirties can’t be a gorgeous, sexy, sensual being in the prime of their life. But what we see above is an actual abomination of nature. A gorgeous abomination, sure. But an abomination nonetheless. For reference, here is what I, a 29-year-old woman, will look like in exactly one year talking about the time I went to Bonnaroo:

Time is a cruel mistress.

4. Trans Women Can’t Be Fantasies

#TBT to a little over one year ago, when Victoria’s Secret was forced to issue an apology after Ed Razek, the guy literally known as “the man behind the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show,” said he would never allow “transexuals” (his word, not ours) to walk the catwalk because the show “is a fantasy.” He then went on to say the same thing about plus-size models.

First of all, trans women are women and plus-size women are women and the whole point of the show is to sell clothes to women, so wtf are you even talking about? Second of all, anyone who doesn’t think plus-sized or trans women can be “a fantasy” is a narc who has never even glanced at porn.

Anyway, Razek left L Brands this August, and shortly before his departure, Victoria’s Secret hired Valentina Sampaio (pictured above) as their first trans model. You simply love to see it.

5. This Is What Running Into Your Ex Is Like

We couldn’t talk about the VS Fashion Show without mentioning the iconic moment, also known as “the only good thing that happened in the year 2016.” Let’s set the scene: Bella Hadid and The Weeknd had been dating for a year when they split up just a month before Bella’s first-ever VS Fashion Show. They were then reunited live on stage as Bella made her VS debut looking like a low-carb snack. And thus a million revenge fantasies were born.

Unfortunately, a moment like this is not available to the vast majority of the population. For us non-models, reuniting with an ex looks more like running into them with their new girlfriend while we are making a tampon run in old sweatpants. But this moment was amazing television, and almost makes the 23 years of toxic beauty standards and bad body image worth it. Almost.

Images: Giphy (4)

Photoshop Fail Of The Week: The World’s Most Beautiful Woman Still Facetunes

Bella Hadid is one of the biggest supermodels of our generation. Personally, I love her and Gigi. I hope we’ll continue to move away from using only the super tall, super thin, super conventionally beautiful body type as models, but in terms of their careers, the Hadids are killing it. Bella’s had a good week in general too, because she was just announced as the most beautiful woman in the world, according to science. I mean, I think beauty is subjective, and I’m super confused that this is the science we’re reading about instead of, you know, tackling global warming, but okay. She is definitely one of the most beautiful women, without a doubt. However, somehow, being the most beautiful woman still does not spare you from the siren call of Facetune.

Bella’s been caught editing a few times in the past, especially her body (which I don’t understand at all, but k). Like, if someone that thin thinks her body needs to be edited, imagine, just IMAGINE, what she’d do to a pic of my size 8 ass. She’d probably just have to throw the whole pic away. But I wanted to take a look at what regular, run-of-the-mill selfie editing Bella does on the reg. If I were the most beautiful woman in the world, I would do none. I already do none because it’s honestly too much work and I don’t care. But models are just like us, and they also have insecurities. I don’t agree with using Facetune to hide them, especially as public figures (of beauty, no less), since it creates a very toxic standard for what women are supposed to look like. But until Bella gives me control of her phone, this is just the reality we live in. That said, I will definitely continue to call it out so people can understand that it’s not real, and nothing to aspire to.

So here is Bella, looking like the most beautiful woman in the world, in a regular selfie:

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My vibration is only love and light ✨

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Like, she’s just stunning.

And here she is in a paparazzi pic that is (to my knowledge) unedited:

Also stunning.

But there are definitely a few differences I noticed right off the bat. Aside from just the basic, she has a tan, her hair color (which is dyed and not Facetuned), the amount of makeup she’s wearing, the thing that jumped out most to me was her face/jawline. Bella has a clean strong jaw, which I actually always thought was a good thing? Maybe I don’t know what’s cool with the youths now? But in her own pic, her face is really, really thin and much softer. She looks like she’s wearing less makeup in the selfie, but somehow her nose bridge is completely blended out/gone, and her nose looks smaller. Proportionately, her eyes do look bigger, although it could just be makeup/angle differences. And her lips look bigger, but still the same shape. But the pics are at different angles so it’s hard to tell.

So I moved it.

Even I was surprised when I made this GIF. Her face is basically half the size in her own selfie. But like…why though? She already apparently has the most beautiful face in the world? Her lips are made a lot bigger and her nose was definitely smoothed. It does look like the eyes are made bigger, too. One thing I will say is that it doesn’t look like she airbrushed her skin at all besides the nose, so Bella must just have perfect skin a good dermatologist. I like when we can actually see celebs with pores instead of the scary plastic-y skin they’re all so fond of.

So there you you have it. The most beautiful woman in the world and she still can’t take a selfie unedited because of the crazy standards we put on women as a society. Bella, you’re the most beautiful woman in the world, you really don’t need the editing, I promise you.

Have you seen some of Bella’s other Photoshop Fails? Do you think it’s crazy that these insanely perfect women still do this shit? Let me know!

Images: Getty Images; bellahadid / Instagram

The Most Ridiculous Things Celebrities Have Been Sued For

Human beings contain multitudes. And even though celebrities are much prettier and richer than we can ever dream to be, they’re still human beings. So, celebrities may be vain, photogenic, calculating, and insecure creatures, but they are also so much more than that. They are also quick to throw around their name for personal gain, incredibly stupid, and bad at following rules. Wow, should we stop worshipping these people, or what? *wakes up from blackout* Sorry, I didn’t mean that, I don’t know what I was thinking. I’ll never stop worshipping you, Keanu! Anyway, because celebrities are so bad at following rules, they tend to get sued a lot. We just saw it happen with Amanda Stanton (I’m obviously using the term “celebrity” very liberally here), and she’s not the only one that’s run outside the bounds of the law—right, Felicity? So, let’s take a look at some of the most ridiculous celebrity lawsuits, because it’s not like you were actually going to do any real work at work today, sorry Karen!

Celebrities Who Were Sued For Using Paparazzi Shots Of Themselves

In addition to all the qualities I enumerated above, celebrities are also hypocrites. They say they don’t want the paparazzi to take their pictures, but *spoiler alert* they often call the paparazzi on themselves. You didn’t think the paps got those close-up photos of a celebrity couple’s romantic Rhode Island beach stroll because they just happened to be hanging out there, did you? Ohhh, you did? That’s so cute. Celebs also like to use those pap photos they’re so against on their own social media, for the times when I guess the 3,000 selfies on their camera roll just won’t suffice. Unfortunately this is actually illegal, because the celebrities don’t own those photos.  

Over the past few years, this has gotten Ariana Grande, Khloé Kardashian, and Gigi Hadid into trouble. 

Gigi was most recently sued for posting a picture last October that she was eventually forced to take down. She addressed the controversy on, what else, Instagram. 

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This post was way too long for me to read to the end (when I got to the “poor me, poor me, people take my picture outside my house” stuff I started wanting to take a bleach bath), but I believe the gist of it was that Gigi does not understand why she cannot post a picture of herself that someone else already got paid for. Well, Gigi, let me introduce you to a little thing called THE LAW that perhaps you would have learned about had you not been busy yachting in Cannes instead of attending the 9th grade. Just because you’re in a picture does not mean you own a picture. Copyright law protects photographers, and infringement could cost celebrities up to $150,000 a photo. I guess the moral of the story is that we should all just stick to posting heavily-edited photos our Instagram husbands took of us, mmmkay?

Michael Jordan

Most people would love to look like a celebrity. For instance, I would sacrifice both of my brothers and my mother’s new puppy to look like Margot Robbie. It turns out for some people that is not the case. Way back in 2006, when Kim’s sex tape was just a twinkle in Kris Jenner’s eye, a man named Allen Ray Heckard sued Michael Jordan and Nike for $832 million. He sued them for defamation, permanent injury, and emotional pain and suffering because, GET THIS: he is “constantly accused of looking like Michael” and it’s “very uncomfortable.” And how did he get this exorbitant number, you ask? He says, “Well, you figure with my age and you multiply that times seven and, ah, then I turn around and, ah, I figure that’s what it all boils down to.”

Heckard eventually dropped the suit because he realized that being mistaken for one of the world’s greatest athletes is just his cross to bear in this life (and also kind of a good thing?). Either that, or someone finally smacked some sense into him. 

Mila Kunis

The Kunis/Kutcher clan is having a rough go this week, but not quite as rough as it was for Mila back in 2015 when she was sued for stealing a chicken. No, you did not just lose your grasp on the English language, yes, that did say she was sued for stealing a chicken. Let me explain. 

When Mila was in first grade and living in the Ukraine, she was best friends with a girl named Kristina Karo. Kristina had a chicken named Doggie, because she was clearly a sociopath. One day, according to Kristina, Doggie disappeared and Mila confessed to taking him. Kristina claims this caused her emotional distress and drove her to therapy. Guys, was this the most explosive story to come out of Ukraine until the phone call? I think yes. Anyways, Mila got real famous, made a ton of money, and Kristina decided it was time for Mila to pay the piper. And the price? Five grand. Sorry, Doggie. I guess your life is only worth the price of a pair of sneakers Mila would buy her 2-year-old. Eventually the lawsuit was dropped because Kristina got the publicity she wanted “found it in her heart to forgive,” and decided “only God can judge.”

Lindsay Lohan

And finally, we’ll end with Lindsay Lohan, who has been sued multiple times, for multiple bizarre reasons. In 2007, Lindsay was sued for engaging in a “high-speed chase”. According to the suit, Lindsay commandeered another man’s car to chase her former assistant! And then! When she lost her assistant’s car, she decided to chase a different car! She eventually settled the case because this absolutely sounds like something 2007-era Lindsay would do and any judge would obviously convict. 

In 2009, Lindsay was sued by Jennifer Sunday, her former business partner, for stealing the formula for Sevin Nyne tanning spray. Jennifer, are we sure we want to take any credit for this blight on humanity? It’s not even spelled correctly! Was that intentional? Or was Lindsay just tutored by a dog on the set of The Parent Trap? Plus, Lindsay’s shade of tan always ranges from Oompa Loompa to “I’m dressed like candy corn for Halloween,” so I think it would be best for anyone to keep their name off that. 

^^do not trust her. She is a fugly slut.

And those are some of the most ridiculous celebrity lawsuits! I will keep you all updated on my personal lawsuits, now that I’m sure they’ll be suing me for all the harsh words I have written here today. Fingers crossed they only ask for $5,000!

Images: Shutterstock.com; Giphy (3), gigihadid/Instagram