Was Greg Gaslighting? What ‘The Bachelorette’ Can Teach Us About Toxic Habits

Okay yes, we’re still talking about this. But this one has been a real journey and honestly, those of us who have committed to 3-hour, back-to-back, Greg Grippo-focused episodes of The Bachelorette have been through a lot, and the least we could do is learn a lesson at the end of all this. In case you need a reminder (you don’t), recently millions of people watched as Greg Grippo, one of three contestants remaining on season 17 of The Bachelorette, had an intense emotional meltdown when the lead, Katie Thurston, was unwilling to communicate her love to him in a way that felt reciprocal. He said, “You fill a hole in my heart.” She said, “Nice face.” I’m paraphrasing—a little. A meltdown ensued, an unexpected and painful (for all of us) breakup followed, and Bachelor Nation took to the streets (social media and podcasts, primarily), to debate: Team Katie? Team Greg? Was Greg gaslighting or having a justified emotional response? Was Katie cold and withholding? The answer, I think, is yes. Both things, all things. Whatever reaction you had to those horribly uncomfortable breakup scenes likely held some truth, because ending relationships is complicated and messy and usually pretty gross. For the record, as a Master’s-level Counselor with professional experience in relational communication, there are some specific examples of gaslighting behaviors in their interactions and I bet if we got to watch back any of our own breakups, we’d see some gaslighting there too. Humans with big emotions, especially about love and intimacy, will do some wild things to get what they want, including using tactics to confuse and manipulate each other.  

Let’s be clear about one thing, though. While we might not all agree on the level of gaslighting Greg Grippo engaged in here, he most definitely wrote us a playbook for Emotional Manipulation 101. He relies on the narrative that being with Katie is the only thing that’s made him happy in the two years since his dad died. His family and friends then come in to reinforce this, telling Katie that he just hasn’t been himself, but now that she’s here, the Greg they know is back. Yikes. 

I believe them. I believe that Greg is finding joy in this process and that he is genuinely feeling lighter and happier. I don’t think he’s acting (ahem, cue the Meryl Streep moment). I think he’s coming out of very regular, grief-induced depression because he’s had time to heal and now he’s on a TV show with a bunch of dudes he likes to hang with and a cute girl he likes to make out with, mostly in the rain. (In the desert. It’s fine.) But to frame his happiness as solely dependent on Katie is setting a fertile ground for a relationship built on emotional responsibility and caretaking. It’s so much to take on. And it’s manipulative. 

And this, my friends, is a lesson we can all learn. If watching Greg and Katie in these final scenes together felt just a little too familiar, then it’s likely you have experienced emotional manipulation. You’ve probably even done it. Honestly, who hasn’t at some point? A little silent treatment here and there can be pretty passively impactful. Or maybe using the old “Well if you don’t know why I’m upset, I’m not going to tell you!” technique when you can’t articulate the reason for your feelings, you just know you’re having them and someone needs to pay attention ASAP! Storming out of the room during an argument without telling your partner you plan to return? We’ve all done it. These are all forms of emotional manipulation we see Greg use. They aren’t healthy modes of relational communication, but we’ve all done them, haven’t we? We’re all human here. If these are your primary methods of communicating during conflict, then maybe the lesson for you here is to practice something new. Maybe begin practicing expressing your emotions directly and clearly. Maybe examine why it might not feel like you can? We could all probably work on this more, and maybe GG was sent here to inspire us. Get to work! 

Or, hear me out, maybe you watched all this go down and had an even stronger reaction. Maybe you were like me and the familiarity was TOO specific. Maybe, like me, you’ve lived it over and over again. Honestly, any moment of the GG drama could have been picked from any of my previous relationships. This is because I have spent a lifetime choosing partners out of a compulsion to be with highly emotional people who depend on me for emotional caretaking. I have been “Caught in the Grip(po)” of this compulsive cycle without ever even knowing why or how until recently.

It turns out, I have a thing called Love Avoidance. It develops through some specific childhood trauma related to family enmeshment and it manifests into issues with intimacy. There is a range for Love Avoidance, but mine happens to be severe. Unlike avoidant attachment, which people seem to be more familiar with, a Love Avoidant craves intimacy. We don’t run from it—we seek it out. But because in childhood we took on some kind of overly mature role protecting or nurturing our families, we think we can only be loved by people if they need us to manage their emotions or they depend on us to take care of their emotional needs. Like, a lot. In fact, we take this role with so much determination that we become absolutely suffocated by it. Intimacy feels like drowning. Maybe even dying. It’s called Engulfment and we engage in all kinds of avoidant behaviors to find relief from it, but because it’s a cycle, we continue the compulsive behavior of choosing people who need emotional caretaking because they will let us. And then we all end up in the cycle again. It’s pretty torturous for everyone involved.  

The good news, for people who experience some level of Love Avoidance, is that you can recover. The first step is the most difficult one because it requires some brutal honesty about our choices and patterns. But it’s just possible that Greg Grippo can help.

Do you constantly choose a partner with high emotional needs? Are you drawn to the Greg Grippo in the room, someone who needs constant reassurance and/or attention? The person whose eyes seem to be masking something intense and mysterious? Do you always pick partners who have an emotional connection or response to every single thing that happens? Do you feel constantly drained in your relationships but still choose people who just need and take so much from you? Do I sound like a 2am infomercial trying to convince you to buy my self-help program DVD box set? Yes. I do. And I’m sorry, but this could be really important if it’s the first time you’re hearing it!

Before my recovery, I would have been obsessed with Greg. It would have become a full-blown TV crush by the end of the season. From night one, I would have chosen him. He would have had his emotional meltdown and shown his propensity for emotional manipulation, and I still would have chosen him. I would have taken care of all of his emotions and he would have let me until we destroyed each other. We don’t get “Caught in the Grip(po)” over and over again because of “fate” or “true love.” We do it out of compulsion. It took a series of devastating losses (and a lot of therapy) for me to recognize these patterns in my own life. Maybe watching Katie Thurston making a different choice this season will be the start for you.  

Image: Craig Sjodin / ABC

‘Too Hot To Handle’ Star Harry Jowsey Told Us About His Dramatic Breakup

First comes Love Is Blind, then comes marriage, then comes yet another f*cking reality dating show. It’s 2020, and most of us can relate to being isolated and isolated and sex-starved, but imagine this: you’re champagne-wasted on a free beach resort vaca surrounded by super hot people…the catch is, you’re literally not allowed to hook up with anyone unless you want to lose money. Harry Jowsey, the Australian hunk from Netflix’s reality dating show Too Hot To Handle, has experienced this ~traumatic~ experience firsthand. On the most recent episode of the Let Me Finish podcast, Taylor Jackson and Abby Lloyd sat down with Harry to discuss his recent breakup, sex, and breakup sex. 

Harry and his THTH costar Francesca Farago, a Canadian model and Instagram personality, left the show together, broke up, then got engaged during the reunion special. But, in true influencer fashion, Francesca announced their second split via a YouTube video entitled “Our Break Up.” According to Harry, he was totally blindsided by the video, since he and Francesca had actually filmed a joint video explaining their breakup. “Everything was going to be civil, but she posted her video and it kinda just had a whole bunch of fabricated stories to attack me,” he said. “And I was like, I’ve got receipts and everything.” (Screenshots, screenshots, screenshots, people.)

The dramatic breakup has, understandably, been pretty tough on Harry’s mental health. In addition to anxiety attacks and a loss of appetite, he’s been getting attacked by commenters on his Instagram and TikTok accounts. “I don’t know what happened with me and Francesca because we had a great relationship, the breakup wasn’t bad, we just didn’t see eye-to-eye on a whole bunch of stuff,” he said. “Then that video got posted and then she just kept sending this tirade of hate toward me and my friends and my family, and I was like, ‘I don’t know who she’s talking to or who’s in her corner, because this isn’t the girl that I know.” As if the heart-wrenching breakup weren’t bad enough, Harry now has to call in his lawyers. “It’s gotten to a point where it’s affecting my brand…so I’m like okay, everything you’re saying is a lie, so…” We’re here for this passive aggression.

Francesca rebounded quickly, while Harry—who really is too hot to handle IRL, Abby confirms—has been easing back into the dating game. Just this weekend, he took a girl to dinner then to a party with a bunch of Gen Z TikTok stars (seems like a pretty sh*tty date idea, but that’s just me). Turns out, his date had ~history~ with one of the other guys there and ended up leaving with him, so Harry ended the night, declaring, ”Okay, I’m calling an Uber, I’m going home.” I mean, we’ve all been there. On the bright side, this means that Harry is single….He reports that he’s into tattoos, girls that text first, and post-breakup sex, so slide on into those DMs, ladies.

For more on Harry’s love and sex life, listen to the full interview on the latest episode of the Let Me Finish podcast.

Images: harryjowsey / Instagram

5 Types Of IG Posts That Tell You A Couple Is About To Break Up

Here’s to annoying couples: may we know them, may we judge them, may we actively avoid them. Unfortunately, the latter is nearly impossible in our culture of oversharing. The good news is that the most flagrant offenders probably won’t be blowing up your feed for too much longer. Read on for the telltale posts that indicate there is trouble in paradise.

1. The -Month “Anniversary”

I feel the need to start this section with a brief etymology lesson. The word “anniversary” comes from the Latin adjective anniversarius, which means “returning yearly,” as well as the Latin noun annus, which means “year.” So it always baffles me when I see couples commemorating their “3 month anniversary!!!” on social media. While it’s severely premature cute that you’re celebrating your relationship’s survival over the course of a fiscal quarter, it makes absolutely no sense. What’s more, it reeks of insecurity. How dicey are things that you feel the need to prove the legitimacy of your relationship with a fake anniversary?

2. Gratuitous Tributes

These eyesores come in many forms, the most common being a weekly #WCW or #MCM post. Don’t get me wrong. I love love and think it should be celebrated, but it feels more authentic when it happens organically in the context of an actual milestone, like a birthday or a (real!) anniversary. We should appreciate our partners, but must this appreciation be constantly performed on a public forum on a weekly basis? These posts are where the cracks (say crack again) really begin to show in a relationship. They come across as reactionary, like the poster is trying to make up for something he or she did wrong, leaving the sentiment reading more like a coded mea culpa instead of the undying declaration of love it claims to be. Why should Chad send flowers to his girlfriend after she catches him texting bitches when he can overcompensate by firing off a #WCW thirst trap on the ‘gram and call it a day?

3. Incessant Vacation Pics

I will confess that I am guilty of posting way more than I normally do when I am on vacation. But I do try to space out these posts and be cognizant of the fact that while I’m posting basic shots of my third pasta lunch in a row, my followers are toiling away at their work desks, secretly hoping that my Aperol Spritz goes down the wrong pipe. Couples on the brink of a breakup, however, don’t seem to have this sort of self-awareness. Instead, they assault your feed with daily posts and endless selfies from their romantic seaside dinner in Santorini (btw, it’s kinda hard to see the scenery in your selfies, Susan) to make up for the fact that they spent the majority of said dinner arguing about when Matt is finally going to propose. The frequency of these posts is the big tell: the more they are posting, the more they are trying to convince their followers and themselves that EVERYTHING IS FINE! The reality, though, looks something more like this:

4. PDA Overload

Beware of the PDA pictures, my friends, for these are the death knell for many a relationship. Kissing pictures are generally tough. I’m willing to overlook them, say, on one’s wedding day, but anything else feels voyeuristic and leaves me with a lot of questions, the most important being: Who TF is taking these pictures?! The more performative the pose (looking at you, dips), the less likely the couple is to stay together. Case in point: I watched an acquaintance post a monthly kissing pic with her boyfriend for several months, only for this gentleman to disappear in the night from her feed just three months later.

5. Inspirational Quotes

Call the coroner and prepare the morgue, because this relationship is deceased. There is no clearer sign that a relationship is on the outs than when one party begins posting inspirational quotes, especially when those quotes are passive-aggressive digs at the other person. My personal favorite is, “Never Let Anyone Be Your Priority If You Are Only Their Option.” In other words, Chad graduated from texting bitches to actually f*cking at least one of those bitches and YA GIRL IS PISSED.

Actual footage of me reading these kinds of posts:

As sure as the Kardashian-Jenners will find a way to remain relevant, annoying couples will continue to torture us with their undying proclamations of love on social media. I only ask that these couples be consistent in their oversharing. If they’re going to be this extra when things are going up in flames well, then the least they can do is spill the tea on the circumstances surrounding the breakup. Don’t leave us hanging, it’s rude. In these dark times, a fire selfie with the full breakdown of how Angela caught Todd in bed with her barre instructor is the kind of post the people need.

Images: Austin Loveing / Unsplash; Giphy (5)

UPDATED: We Called It—Bella Hadid And The Weeknd Broke Up

UPDATE: I wanted to say that I called it, but really, our lovely tipster Tamara called it. E! News is now reporting that Bella Hadid and The Weeknd have called it quits again, after a source exclusively confirmed it. The source claimed that distance played a role in their breakup and explained, “They are in different places right now, physically and mentally.” The “physically” qualifier seems unnecessary, but ok. On the one hand, Bella is prepping for fashion week stuff and The Weeknd is working on his new album and—get this—”his upcoming acting debut”.

According to the source, Bella and Abel hope to get back together at some point but for now “are focused on themselves and their projects.” I mean, don’t we all? Anyway, wow. Now that we know for sure that The Weeknd and Bella Hadid are broken up, all I can say is: I cannot wait for the new Weeknd album.

There are a lot of celebrity couples I’m constantly thinking about, but I’ll be honest, The Weeknd and Bella Hadid are not one of them. That’s not to say I’m not a fan—I am actually a huge fan and never understood his relationship with Selena Gomez—but they seem pretty stable. As a couple, they’re not really in the news all that much, and we don’t hear a lot of drama about them. As far as celebrity couples go, they seem like a nice constant presence I can take for granted without having to constantly monitor. That is, until a hot tip came into my inbox this morning from Betches fan Tamara Barracosa, who thinks The Weeknd and Bella Hadid have broken up.

First, a brief timeline of The Weeknd and Bella Hadid’s relationship. Bella and Abel got together in May 2015 and broke up in November of 2016. He dated Selena Gomez for 10 months, and then in November of 2017, was spotted leaving Bella Hadid’s apartment. (Who among us has not hooked up with an ex as a rebound?) They have more or less been together since May 2018. However, there might be trouble in paradise… literally. Our girl Tamara noticed that Bella Hadid has been on vacation a lot, with no sign of The Weeknd. To be fair, he could just be busy with other things (he’s working on an album), but it’s a little out of the ordinary for there to be no sign of The Weeknd on Bella’s social media in months. In June, she posted him to her Instagram story when he surprised her with a visit. And on May 23, Bella was missing her mans, so she posted a TBT pic of them in Abu Dhabi, writing “I miss my king”. So, even though they’re a pretty private couple, they do post about each other. Or at least, Bella will post about Abel regularly enough. His absence could be telling of something more serious.

Sadly, all good things must come to an end, and their relationship might be on the rocks. Two weeks ago, tabloids were reporting that their relationship is “at an all-time low” and they’re constantly fighting. On July 31, The Weeknd posted a selfie to Twitter (weird move, but ok), where he’s drinking a cocktail and living some semblance of his best life.


— The Weeknd (@theweeknd) August 1, 2019

Noticeably absent from that selfie? One Bella Hadid—though, to be fair, a browse through The Weeknd’s Twitter history shows that he doesn’t really post about her on there, ever. (He mostly retweets news articles about himself.) So it’s not that weird that he wouldn’t tweet about his girlfriend, especially since Twitter isn’t really the platform you go to to post about your relationship—Instagram is. But guess what’s on The Weeknd’s Instagram?


UPDATE: !!!!! he deleted his insta and she deleted recent pics of him!!!

— Tam Hanks (@TamaraBarracosa) August 1, 2019

That’s right, The Weeknd deleted his Instagram. That’s definitely suspicious, and could point to a breakup, but there are easily other explanations. Mainly, The Weeknd is currently working on a new album, Chapter VI, and according to some music blogs, his fans have been bugging him nonstop on social media about it. Yeah, if strangers were constantly DMing me about my latest article or whatever, I’d be annoyed too, and might just go nuclear and slash and burn my entire account. Also, artists delete their Instagrams in the time leading up to a new release all the time. Taylor Swift did it for Reputation, and Cardi B did it as well after the 2019 Grammys. Fans thought it was in response to the backlash of all her wins, but then she ended up back on Instagram a short time later to promote a new song. With The Weeknd deleting his Instagram, I’d bet this is less of a sad boy thing and more of a PR maneuver.

However, Bella’s Instagram is also kind of suspect. She hasn’t posted a picture of The Weeknd since March 30th, which is a long time ago, but then again, Bella Hadid’s Instagram is mostly professional shots of her anyway. It makes sense that she’s not actually using Instagram for its intended purpose, i.e. posting real photos of her life taken on an iPhone, considering she’s a model and also a celebrity. Unless Bella Hadid has a finsta, this is kind of a dead end. Could it be indicative that their relationship has come to an end? It could. But it could just mean that she doesn’t post her boyfriend to her feed to begin with. I don’t have a photographic memory of Bella Hadid’s Instagram feed, so I can’t say for sure that she did have photos that were taken down. I checked out a few Bella Hadid fan accounts (I know), and even they don’t have many photos of her with The Weeknd. So could it just be… that she doesn’t take many photos of him to begin with? Sometimes the most obvious answer is the correct one.

Basically, when an already quiet couple goes even more quiet, it’s hard to determine what’s up. It’s equally likely The Weeknd and Bella Hadid broke up as it is that The Weeknd has just been sequestering himself away somewhere while he finishes his album, so I’m sorry to give you all blue balls, but it’s impossible to say for sure. Looks like I’ll be adding The Weeknd and Bella Hadid to my roster of celebrity couples I need to keep constant tabs on to make sure they’re okay, right after Chrissy Teigen and John Legend.

If you have a tip you need the one and only Sgt. Olivia Betchson to investigate, send us an email to [email protected] with your piping hot tea.

Images: Shutterstock; TamaraBarracosa, theweeknd / Twitter

Bella Thorne And Mod Sun Broke Up

Bella Thorne has spent her whole career breaking boundaries and surprising us, like last week, when we found out she’s publishing a book of poems. But today, we gather to talk about Bella Thorne for a less happy reason—Bella and Mod Sun broke up. That’s right, the grungiest couple the world has ever seen is no longer. Pour out a bottle of the cheapest vodka you can find, because this is the saddest news I’ve heard all week.

Luckily, Bella did us all a favor and confirmed the news on her Instagram, so we don’t have to wonder whether rumors about the split are real. In true Bella Thorne style, the post is instantly iconic. It’s a mirror selfie of her wearing a dress with a large boob window, and then Mod Sun is just kinda lurking in the background. Honestly, this seems on par with what I know of his personal brand. I don’t know what the usual etiquette is for a breakup Insta, but Bella Thorne is a queen and I’m living for this photo.

View this post on Instagram

I will always love you. All good things must come to an end. ?

A post shared by BELLA (@bellathorne) on

Bella’s caption isn’t especially noteworthy, aside from the fact that it’s confirmation that she and Mod are no longer together. With a post like this, it seems like the breakup must have been pretty amicable, otherwise we would’ve just gotten a lot of moody subtweets and confusing outfits. I mean, Bella will still probably do that stuff, but it seems like things ended on at least decent terms.

To put things into perspective, Bella Thorne’s split with Mod Sun comes less than two months after her split with Tana Mongeau, so it must be a tough time for her. I’ve never thought about it this way, but I guess this is the biggest hazard of getting into a throuple in the first place. One breakup is bad enough, but two just seems unfair. The only way this could get worse for Bella is if Mod Sun and Tana start dating each other separately, but I think we’re safe for now.

Before posting her breakup Insta, Bella also shared this photo from Coachella, so we all knew something was up. Captioning an Instagram “Hug me I’m lonely” is basically a plea for random dudes to slide into your DMs, so I’m sure Bella already has plenty of eligible men in need of a shower knocking on her door.

View this post on Instagram

Hug me I’m lonely ?

A post shared by BELLA (@bellathorne) on

If I start using captions like these, will I finally be able to find a sugar daddy? Bella, lmk what kind of responses you get so I can assess my options. Seriously, I hope Bella’s doing well, because it’s obviously sh*tty to go through two breakups in such a short amount of time. Maybe I’ll show my support by preordering that poetry book. No, I definitely won’t, but I’ll at least stream “Bitch I’m Bella Thorne” a few times on Spotify. It’s the least I can do.

Images: Shutterstock; @bellathorne / Instagram (2)

The Most Shocking Celebrity Breakups Of 2019

We’ve barely made a dent in 2019, and we’ve already had some major sh*t thrown at us. Aunt Becky is a hardened criminal facing jail time, A-Rod gave J.Lo an engagement ring big enough to make her forget the cheating rumors, and now Kim Kardashian is apparently going to become a lawyer without ever attending law school. And if that wasn’t enough to process, we’ve also had some major celebrity breakups of 2019. It turns out even celebrities just want someone to face their racist grandma with at the holidays, and then they want to drop them as soon as the honey baked ham goes cold.

Unfortunately for me, this does not apply to my crush who is currently cruising the Caribbean with his girlfriend and her family and probably enjoying the all-you-can-eat buffet or proposing or something equally horrifying. I’m totally handling it well, and not at all writing this article from my darkened room where my only companion is a bag of Doritos. But I digress. Let’s forget about my tragic reality, and instead take a look at the celebrities that have broken up so far this year, and TBH we’re lucky a few of them didn’t end in murder-suicide.

Emma Roberts and Evan Peters

You would think that the first time Emma was arrested for assaulting Evan these two would have broken up, but you’d be wrong. Young love is strong as sh*t you guys, hormones are no joke, and they clearly had a strong hold on Emma’s brain in her early days. The couple remained on and off for another SIX years after that, assaulting each other in private, I assume. They finally broke up in March of this year, and Emma immediately appeared out with Garrett Hedlund, who most recently played a sexy Special Forces dude in a Ben Affleck movie, which in my opinion is a major upgrade to the guy that played a nerd in Sleepover. 

Lady Gaga and Christian Carino

Lady Gaga and Christian Carino

So apparently Lady Gaga was engaged to her manager, Christian Carino, and they broke up right before the Oscars. Did literally anyone know about him? I’m sorry, she is LADY GAGA, singer, actress, dancer, mother monster, meat dress wearer, the great bambino, and I had to google his last name. I can not even picture his face. Does he even have a face? This all seems very off-balance to me. It’s definitely right that they broke up, because Gaga needs to be with someone more on her level, like say, Jesus Christ or Bradley Cooper. We all saw that mad chemistry in A Star is Born, unless you’re my mother and slept through the whole thing except the part where he pees himself at the Grammys, and you could cut that sexual tension with a knife. Now Bradley, just ditch that model girlfriend and abandon that adorable child of yours (she’s so young she won’t even remember you!) so that world can have the couple of our dreams. We deserve it.

Demi Lovato and Henry Levy

Demi Lovato and “fashion designer” Henry Levy broke up this March after dating for five months. I’m using air quotes here because I’m more familiar with Forever 21’s spring line than anything this man has ever created. I think this breakup is for the best; should Demi really have been dating only a few months after relapsing? I think they say if you’re in treatment for substance abuse you shouldn’t date someone for at least a year, and yes I did get that from a Sandra Bullock movie. I think it’s probably best she focus on her recovery anyway, because I need her to be happy and healthy so she can put out another banger like “Skyscraper”. Am I right?!

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@matthew_scott_montgomery told me that if I don’t post this on my page he will so here’s this even though it’s already in my story…. ??

A post shared by Demi Lovato (@ddlovato) on

You got this, girl

Jeff Bezos and MacKenzie Bezos

Jeff and Mackenzie Bezos

I know you youths out there probably don’t care about this one, but come on, Jeff Bezos is the richest guy in the world, and he just ditched his wife to send “u up” texts to his mistress. Kidding, he actually texts her, “I love you, alive girl. I will show you with my body, and my lips and my eyes, very soon.” Excuse me while I go pour acid into my eyeballs. Needless to say, the couple finalized their divorce a few weeks ago, with MacKenzie receiving 25% of their Amazon stock.

Jeff Bezos is 55 years old, ladies, so I can confirm men do not, in fact, get better. At least MacKenzie has that $35.7 billion to keep her warm at night instead of his body, his lips, and his eyes. I think we’d all prefer that anyway.

Khloé Kardashian and Tristan Thompson

Khloe Kardashian Tristan Thompson

We all know Khloé and Tristan broke up. I’m sick of talking about them but I also didn’t want anyone in the comments to call me a moron for leaving them out. I’m emotionally fragile right now. So here they are! Tristan is a cheating cheater that cheats, and Khloé puts up with it only until she can get the most publicity out of the breakup. You can find many articles about it on this site alone, including the one I wrote, which is the only one I’m going to pimp out here because I’m the worst. You can’t say I’m not self-aware. Enjoy!

What’s been harder & more painful is being hurt by someone so close to me. Someone whom I love & treat like a little sister. But Jordyn is not to be blamed for the breakup of my family. This was Tristan’s fault.

— KoKo (@khloekardashian) March 2, 2019

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth

Really, truly the most shocking of all. This weekend, we got the news that Miley and Liam are dunzo after less than a year of marriage, because we just can’t have nice things. Miley was then seen making out with Brody Jenner’s ex Kaitlynn Carter in Italy, because we really can’t have nice things.

So those are the major celebrity breakups of 2019. In the next three quarters of this year, prepare for many more breakups *cough* Emma and Garrett *cough* and I hope you’ll all pray that my crush and his girlfriend are also one of them. Thanks!

Images: Giphy (3); ddlovato/Instagram; khloekardashian/Twitter

The Latest ‘Bachelor’ Nation Breakup Is So Dramatic And Weird

For the last few weeks, our Bachelor Nation energy has been firmly focused on the nightmare that is Jordan Kimball and Jenna Cooper’s relationship. From a feud with Reality Steve to an “extraction” device, Jenna has been a complete sh*tshow. But in today’s news, we’re reminded that there’s plenty of psycho to go around in the Paradise cast. Today’s drama is courtesy of Jacqueline and Jordan Mauger, who were apparently (maybe?) a couple until recently. We never wrote an article about them, because in the time that would have taken, their relationship has completely fallen apart. As a quick refresher, Jacqueline was the girl on Arie’s season who was too smart to be there, and Jordan is New Zealand Jordan who appeared on Bachelor: Winter Games.

The first evidence of their relationship appeared a few weeks ago, when Jordan Instagrammed a photo of him and Jacqueline kissing at Burning Man. Ah yes, because all great loves begin in the desert when you’re wearing a corset, tutu, and a blue wig. Soon after that, Jacqueline gushed about Jordan in a post on Reddit: “he is just…good for me. He deals well with neurotic people. My favorite thing about Jordan is his maturity. He is incredibly patient and supportive. He is the least pretentious person I’ve ever met. He knows who he is.” Wow, this seems surprisingly deep for two people who met on a reality show. But as Nelly Furtado taught me many years ago, all good things come to an end.

A couple days ago, people noticed that Jordan had changed the caption on the photo, adding a “not” to the end. This is obviously a very emotionally mature way of acknowledging the end of a relationship, but then Jordan went and just deleted the photo before long. Thanks to the power of screenshots, here it is:

Life & Style got comments from both Jordan and Jacqueline, and I’m so thankful. Jacqueline kept it simple, saying “It’s been a very sad few days. I’m not doing great.” Aw. Jordan’s comments were brief, but a little more interesting, saying, “We all eat lies when our hearts are hungry,” followed by a bunch of broken heart emojis. I’m sorry, WHAT? That might be the most alarming sentence I’ve ever read, and I read Fifty Shades of Grey when I was 15. Did Jordan read that on a mug somewhere? Has he been spending too much time on Pinterest? I need to know.

After both parties made their initial comments, things continued to get more interesting. Someone posted on Reddit that Jacqueline had cheated on Jordan, and this was the reason for the split. The post was later taken down, and those claims were unverified, but the damage was done. Someone DMed Jordan to ask about the allegations, and he respectfully declined to talk about it, telling the DMer, “I’m really trying to recover from all this. It’s very heartbreaking. I hope you understand I don’t really want to go into it.” But of course, the person who DMed him then posted a screenshot of that conversation, so he talked to Life & Style again. Oh god, this dude is just as thirsty as all of them. He told them, “This situation is more complex and deeper than people know. I’m not entirely sure how Reddit works, but I’m sure it is very upsetting for Jacqueline as she uses it regularly. I’d respect if we could be left alone to recover from this by ourselves.”

Lmao, is he low-key dragging her for using Reddit? Either way, he’s really saying a lot for someone who claims he wants to be left alone. Aaaaand because famewhores gonna famewhore, Jacqueline also talked to Life & Style for a second time. “None of that comment is true. It’s someone who wrote a rumor I was able to disprove. Jordan is mad about a totally different topic. Jordan and I were never in a relationship. We were getting to know each other and discovering what could be possible between us.”

Okay, is anyone else confused? Jacqueline says she and Jordan were never in a relationship, and I’m thinking that they are on very different pages about that. Wow, and usually when I have a breakup, it’s the man who denies we were ever officially together in the first place, even though I MET YOUR PARENTS!! Anyway, good on Jacqueline for bucking gender norms. Whatever, both of these people are probably nuts.

So things may be over for Jacqueline and Jordan, but it’s likely only a matter of time before another couple in Bachelor Nation blesses us with a ridiculous mess. It just never ends with these crazies.

Images: @jord_abroad / Instagram; ABC

The 7 Best Relationship Podcasts & Books For Single People

So, unfortunately, we’ve all been there before: stuck on a fuckboy you think you’ll never get over, even though in reality they treat you like shit. And not to get super emo, but that’s exactly where I found myself two months ago – trying to get over a situationship I dealt with for three-plus years too long with a guy who sucked (in life and in bed). And for the record: yes, I have plenty of (very patient and amazing) friends that lovingly told me for the duration of the relationship that I needed to move on and listened to me every time I had something to whine about. (Like the time he ditched me the night of my birthday or about the time I found out that he went out on a date with another girl before spending the night at my apartment, LOL.) But this was one of those things that I needed to decide to get over on my own terms, and while I’ve never been much of a reader, when I did finally decide to move on from that fuckboy, I turned to the gems on this list to help me not only move on, but change my outlook on life (and relationships). I swear the following list of dating advice podcasts and books will change your life and your mindset, no matter what you’re going through.


‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne

So I have to give credit where credit is due with this one—a good friend of mine would suggest copping this book every time I spoke to her (over chips, guac, and countless margs, of course) about my issues with Fuckboy. And one day, after a FaceTime sesh while she was visiting her mom who also spoke highly of the The Secret, I decided to give it a read, and I’m so glad I did. While this book at times can seem a little repetitive and read a little cult-like, it played a big role in changing my attitude and the way I think about things. Basically, the book talks about “the secret to life” aka how the law of attraction is very real and plays a major role in manifesting anything you could ever want in love, relationships, health, wealth, and life in general. It convinces you that if you think and speak positively and are grateful for everything you already have, then you send frequencies into the universe to attract even more #blessings. That sounds a little woo-woo, I know, but at its core, The Secret advocates for positive thinking, which has been scientifically proven to improve outcomes. But don’t just take my word for it, people like Ellen DeGeneres and Oprah have been talked about using the secret to life, so considering their success, maybe we should all give it a try.

the secret by rhonda byrne, books to get you over a breakup

‘Strong Looks Better Naked’ by Khloé Kardashian

Considering I read Koko’s book literally the week before Tristan Thompson was caught cheating on her, the first thing I thought when hearing the news was, “Omg, I hope she writes another book now.” Whatever, call me selfish, but this book was good—I mean, she didn’t get the deal for Revenge Body for nothing. (I mean, I guess Kris probably had a lot to do with it, but whatever, you know what I mean.) While the youngest Kardashian sister isn’t exactly the most eloquent writer, the book reads almost like you’re talking to your (super rich and famous) blunt BFF. Khloé shares how she was always known as the fat, funny sister growing up (same, tbh) and when shit hit the fan in her personal life, aka finding out Lamar Odom was addicted to crack, she used all of that negative energy to train her mind, body, and soul to become the best version of herself (and get super fucking hot in the process).

strong looks better naked, by khloe kardashian, books to get you over a breakup

Unfuck Yourself’ by Gary John Bishop

If you respond well to tough love, then Gary John Bishop is your guy. In Unfuck Yourself, the personal development expert tells you how to get the fuck out of your head and start living your life. The author perfectly targets the anxiety-ridden reader who has a habit of creating the shittiest situations in their heads and consequently ruins their own lives by letting those thoughts consume them. (Just me, then??) Whether you’re trying to get over a fuckboy or trying to talk yourself off the ledge from over-analyzing a text message, do yourself a favor and turn to your boy Gary so you can unfuck yourself.

unfuck yourself by gary john bishop, books to get you over a breakup

‘How To Be Single And Happy’ by Jennifer L. Taitz

If you’re a delicate fucking flower who needs things to be told to you a little more gently, Dr. Jenny Taitz’s How To Be Single And Happy: Science-Based Strategies for Keeping Your Sanity While Looking For A Soul Mate should be your go-to. Using a mix of patient and personal anecdotes combined with scientific studies, she helps explain many modern dating phenomena (like ghosting) and really demonstrate that life does not start when you find a boyfriend. (Don’t roll your eyes, we all have that friend.) Dr. Taitz’s book will help you find your sense of self and independence, told in a palatable tone that makes the advice easy to swallow. It’s basically like what your therapist would tell you, without the crazy copay.

How To Be Single And Happy


U Up?

Our list wouldn’t be complete without featuring Betches’ U Up? podcasts featuring our resident go-to straight guy, Jared Freid. In the weekly podcast, the comedian talks with our founder Jordana Abraham about any and everything related to the shitstorm that is the modern dating world. From the douchebags we find on dating apps to questions you need answered regarding hooking up to (my personal fave) the reason guys comment on Instagram thots’ pics,  no topic is off-limits. Jared and Jordana won’t hold your hand and wipe your tears after getting in a fight with your guy, but they will answer all of the questions about dating and hooking up that you didn’t know you needed answered.

Guys We F****d

In the Guys We F****d podcast, Corinne Fisher and Krystyna Hutchinson basically play a totally acceptable version of kiss-and-tell, except it’s more of like a fuck and then interview the guy/tell their listeners all about their experience. The comedians and friends that makeup the stand-up duo Sorry About Last Night ask the guys that they’ve fucked totally intrusive questions about their time together—questions you’ve probably always wanted to ask the men in your life but were too afraid to ask. This podcast will give you insight to the inner workings of a man’s brain while simultaneously making you silent laugh.

The Success Series

Listening to Dr. Eric Thomas speak is kind of like listening to your friend’s  military dad preach to you about how life is all about working hard and not taking anyone’s bullshit. The motivational speaker has 125 episodes and counting, and no matter which one you listen to, the man is bound to inspire you to get off your ass and get your shit together by the end of his speech. (I listen to his episodes while I’m on the StairMaster at the gym, if that’s any indication). Eric will kick your ass when you need it and will tell you real stories of people who turned their lives around and how you can do the same because your life is yours for the taking.

Images: Amazon (4)