9 Times Trump Played Himself On Twitter

If you’ve been living under a rock—or don’t subscribe to The SUP yet for some reason—you may not know that for the past what-seems-like-forever, the President has been under some sort of investigation — from misconduct prior to running for president, to misconduct during his campaign to finally, abusing his power while in office.

However, like any other sub-par white guy, our man Donald has way too much unearned confidence, and, in a totally unsurprising move, is running for reelection come November.

Since crazy sh*t comes out of the White House at least twice a day, I thought it was important to remind you of some of the most ridiculous things you may have forgotten about.

We all know that POTUS has an affinity for a certain social media platform on which he pretty consistently incriminates himself. I scoured the internet and a platform full of Donnie T.’s tweets to pull this list together, and now I would like to set myself on fire and cry for a while. You’re welcome!

If you’re a masochist and want to go through the platform I used for, like, fun or whatever, you can find it here at http://www.trumptwitterarchive.com/.

1. On Winning the Election

To put this in context, Hillary Clinton beat Trump in 2016 by close to 2.9 million popular votes, which pretty much means that the electoral college is the main reason he is even in the White House. It’s good to know that he agrees he should never have been elected President.

2. On Being Laughed At

Last year, I made fun of my friend for hooking up with someone she said she’d never talk to again and then I got mad at her for making fun of me for doing the exact same thing. Since I’m turning 21 in a week, it’s harmless and kind of funny. Imagine how insane would it be if the president acted like a 20-year-old girl? Good thing you don’t have to!

Last December, five-ish years after this was tweeted via a f*cking Android, the leaders of France, Canada, and Great Britain all shared a laugh at the President’s expense. So, yeah, Donnie, it would be nice if our president were taken seriously.

3. On Being Productive and Golf

Could you guys even imagine our Commander-in-Chief traveling around the country to host fundraising rallies or to play golf while there are serious matters to attend to? Seriously—I could not imagine a world in which a President went to a campaign rally while the House was voting on whether to impeach him. It would be even more insane if the President were playing golf during, say, a f*cking devastating hurricane.

4. On World War III…

Yeah. It would be f*cking crazy if someone made a decision that put our country at danger of being forced to enter a massive war. From instigating a Twitter fight with North Korea to ordering a drone strike that killed Iranian Major General Qasem Soleimani, this President is not doing well to avoid, you know, a third World War. Even better, in 2011, Trump said that Obama would start a war with Iran to win reelection. His visions are playing out with Raven Simone accuracy. Way to go, man.

5. On Teleprompters

This scathing criticism of Obama’s teleprompter use is coming directly from the guy who allegedly snorts Adderall to be able to read off a teleprompter. Last summer, Trump blamed a teleprompter problem when he got sh*t for saying that the “Continental Army took over the airports during the Revolutionary War.” Wild that his reliance on teleprompters is so extreme that it prevents him from knowing literally anything about history.

6. On Giving Credit Where Credit Is Due

Like many of us, Trump requires external validation and is constantly seeking approval. Unlike many of us, he is not showing signs of growing out of that need and is also the F*CKING PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. So, anyway, Trump criticized Obama for taking credit for the killing of Bin Laden.

Crazy because, in a briefing given after the killing of Soleimani, he, um, took credit. He literally said, “last night, at my direction, the United States military successfully executed a flawless precision strike that killed the number-one terrorist anywhere in the world, Qasem Soleimani.”

7. On College Records and Applications

Back in the good ol’ days of Obama (we miss you), Donnie was really passionate about the release of a ton of Obama’s records including his birth certificate and college applications. But these days, our President, who is obviously really smart, had his lawyer threaten U Penn to get his transcripts covered up. Donnie says he is a very stable genius so who cares if he hid his transcripts, and that we still haven’t seen his tax returns. I think we should take him at his word and believe him when he says he’s really smart and rich the same way we do for guys who claim they are six feet on dating apps.

8. On His Own Impeachment

I want to let this cartoon that Trump tweeted in 2014 speak for itself because I’m f*cking speechless but let me follow it up with something he tweeted 5 months prior.

9. On Pelosi, Clinton, and Impeachment

As a treat, the last one I’ll leave you with is a surprisingly coherent video in which Donald f*cking Trump himself says the last things we would expect to hear from him in 2020.

Trump says (referring to Pelosi), “I’m very impressed by her, I think she is a very impressive person, I like her a lot”. Then, he follows it up with “it seemed like was gonna really look to impeach Bush and get him out of office which would have been a wonderful thing.”

Why did he think she should impeach Bush? “For the war… well he lied! He got us into the war with lies, and I mean look at the trouble Bill Clinton got into for something that was totally unimportant.”

Every action the President takes seems like the one that will finally end it, and when that’s never the case, it can be easy to get discouraged. That’s why stuff like this is important. We can’t just get distracted by his crazy fixation on his inability to flush a toilet and forget about all the truly evil and insane things this man has done.

The clusterf*ck that is this administration is going to stay in the White House unless you—and all of your friends and loved ones—actually pay attention and get informed. It’s not like you have to start only watching CNN or quit your job to go volunteer for whoever the nominee will be, but you have to do something (vote and subscribe to the newsletter, for starters).

Images: Giphy (2), geralt / Pixabay

Michelle Obama Accidentally Curses In Public, Is All Of Us

For a former First Lady of the United States with incredible arms who actually likes salad, Michelle Obama is pretty relatable. During an appearance at the Barclays Center on Saturday (side note: Michelle you were in NYC and didn’t call me? Rude.) to promote her new book Becoming, Michelle Obama accidentally got too heated and cursed in front of everyone, just like you at any minor inconvenience.

So what was it that annoyed Michelle so much she dropped an s-bomb? The concept of “having it all.” See? She really is just like us. Mrs. Obama used her book as an opportunity to call out all the bullsh*t career women are fed about being perfect wives, mothers, friends, lovers, influencers, CEOs, and whatever else women are expected to be these days.

“That whole ‘so you can have it all’ – nope! Not at the same time,” Michelle explained. “That’s a lie. And it’s not always easy to lean in, because that sh*t doesn’t work all the time.”

Ouch. I guess now we know how Michelle Obama feels about Sheryl Sandberg’s book. (And the fact that her company may have low-key allowed Russia to influence the 2016 election, but whatever…) The crowd obviously flipped the f*ck out hearing Michelle curse, at which point she apologized, saying “I forgot where I was for a moment!”

I said the same thing when I accidentally said f*ck in church. People were still mad, for some reason.

Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 5x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain all the news of the week in a hilarious af way. Because if we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!

All The Tea Michelle Obama Spills In Her New Memoir

Get the book club ready because Michelle Obama’s new book is coming out, and she’s spilling all the tea. “Becoming Michelle Obama” covers Michelle’s life from childhood to White House. It details her struggles with pregnancy, her thoughts on the 2016 Presidential Election, and even some personal quarrels Trump (he once addressed her lack of smiling during a meeting—the audacity). This book is already Oprah’s obsession, so obviously it’s ours too. Michelle even treated us to a few spoilers before the book launches on Tuesday. Just another reason to love her.

1. Why She’ll “Never Forgive” Trump

You better know Michelle isn’t holding back. She openly criticizes Trump for making a false claim that Barack was not a U.S. citizen. The birther rumor originated as a way to disqualify Obama from being a presidential candidate (and it didn’t work soooo…), but the thing that really disturbed Michelle was Trump’s disregard for her family’s safety. She says the birther conspiracy was designed specifically to rile up “wingnuts and kooks” (go off, queen!) and that it put her family in danger. Considering the Obamas low-key received a bomb in the mail like, two weeks ago, this seems like an accurate assessment.

2. Why She Didn’t Smile At The Inauguration

Michelle even admits that she legit won’t even smile in Trump’s presence, saying she “stopped even trying to smile” at Trump’s inauguration. She says, “Someone from Barack’s administration might have said that the optics were bad, that what the public saw didn’t reflect the president’s reality or ideals, but in this case maybe it did.” I aspire to be this level of petty. Got to love seeing her stick by her man and not take any sh*t from America’s number one bully. Looking les mis at VIP events may not be the best look for everyone, but not everyone is Michelle Obama. Besides, if we were that close to Trump we’d have one hell of an RBF t00.

3. Her Fertility Journey

While Michelle has plenty of White House related tales, this book covers more than just her life as First Lady. This is the first time Michelle has opened up about her fertility struggles. As per usual, badass Michelle took it this on “like a mission” and went through IVF to have their two daughters. Obvs we know she’s driven AF and can legit do anything, but hearing even a queen such as herself has had trouble with fertility is not only relatable but super reassuring for tons of women who have struggled or are currently struggling with fertility (like her BFF Beyoncé).

4. Her Childhood In Chicago

Michelle also details other personal experiences throughout the book. She talks about how her childhood influenced who she is today (so basically how to raise a badass 101). As well as sharing her struggle of being a woman of color and minority at an Ivy League school.

5. She’s Not Running For President

Unfortunately, the book doesn’t mention anything about a Michelle 2020 campaign (we can dream though). However, she does talk about her shock that women didn’t turn out for Hilary in 2016. She wrote, “I will always wonder about what led so many, women in particular, to reject an exceptionally qualified female candidate and instead choose a misogynist as their president.” Okay, same.

Hopefully, this recent election’s flood of female candidates restored Michelle’s faith in humanity. Michelle has been and will continue to be an important figure in shaping our nation’s politics (probably only from the outside, ugh) for years to come. Finally, the world gets to learn how Michelle became the strong, intelligent, and vivacious woman that basically everyone loves. This book is sure to take the world by storm, so pre-order your copy while you still can.

Images: Giphy (3)

Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 5x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain all the news of the week in a hilarious af way. Because if we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!

Obama Just Clapped Back At Trump In The Most Savage Way Possible

Incredible news: the reboot of Barack Obama is here and it’s much better than the reboot of Full House. In case I have made you too excited about the state of politics (which is illegal in 2018) with this opening sentence by making you think that Barack Obama is president again, let me clarify. Obama is not president (sad), but he is out on the campaign trail encouraging people to vote and talking sh*t about Trump (amaze). The former president spoke to a crowd in Wisconsin about the lies and corruption coming from the GOP and Trump Administration rn, saying, “In Washington, they have racked up enough indictments to field a football team.” Okay, Obama…slay!!!

Obama had another message for the crowd that we here at the Betches Sup fully stan, and it is that Trump is a liar. Obama dropped some truth bombs about how Trump and the GOP are straight up lying about their promises for healthcare, as well as using fear-mongering tactics in order to get votes in this election. Damn Obama, tell us how you really feel.

Unlike the current president who is like the Cookie Monster if the Cookie Monster’s thing was racism & McDonald’s fillet-o-fish sandwiches, Obama also used his rally to inspire the idea of Democrats and Republicans both working to be better for a greater tomorrow.  He said, “There’s something at stake in this election that goes beyond party, what is at stake is a politics that is decent and honest and lawful, and tries to do right by people, and that’s worthy of this country we love. Because it shouldn’t be Democratic or Republican to say we don’t just make stuff up. It shouldn’t be Democratic or Republican to say you don’t punish political opponents or threaten the freedom of the press just because you don’t like what they say or write about you.”

Obama: “The president said he’d pass a middle-class tax cut before the next election. Congress isn’t even in session. He just makes it up … That is not spin … That’s lying.” (via CBS) pic.twitter.com/6Q57AZSxVG

— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) October 26, 2018

Hearing Obama speak eloquently at a rally after having to endure so many of Trump’s speeches at his racist pep-rallies is so refreshing. It’s honestly makes me feel kind of…what’s that word…I haven’t used it in so long and thought it was gone forever because it means something positive…hopeful! It makes me feel hopeful. Casual reminder that midterm election is NEXT TUESDAY, November 6th, and we must get out there and vote and make Barack “Zaddy” Obama proud. As he said, “This one, it really is that important, the stakes really are that high, the consequences of anybody sitting out are high. America is at a crossroads right now.” And if I’m doing the math correctly, crossroads is the name of a film starring Britney Spears, Britney Spears is everything, everything that goes around comes around, and that essentially means the Democrats will take back the House. Yup, that math checks out. See you at the polls!

Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 5x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain all the news of the week in a hilarious af way. Because if we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!

We Have To Talk About The Obamas’ Netflix Show

I always had a feeling that Netflix would heal this divided nation of ours, and now there’s further proof. We found out back in March that former President/forever bae Barack Obama and his incredible ride-or-die Michelle were in talks to get a Netflix show, and now that dream has become a reality. On Monday, the greatest collab since Nicki’s verse on “Monster” was announced. The Obamas will be producing content for Netflix, where they will be both on and off camera. Be still my heart. The Obama Netflix show will be produced via the Obamas’ new production company, which is called Higher Ground Productions because of course it fucking is.

So What Do We Know?

Umm…not a ton. We know that Barack and Michelle will be on camera in some capacity, so we can all pretend they’re still the first family and Twitter is just a place for stupid jokes and retweeting memes. Netflix has not specified a timeline for this show (rude), but the announcement did say the Obamas will “produce a diverse mix of content, including the potential for scripted series, unscripted series, docu-series, documentaries and features.”

So, all the docs-series and shit make sense to me but…a scripted series?!? So like…a TV show? Written by…Obama? What could it possibly be and, more importantly, how do I get cast in it? Or will Obama star in it? What if Obama wins an Emmy? What if Obama wins an Oscar? What if Obama gets an EGOT? My head is literally spinning.

This is the first time a former U.S. president has ever made a deal like this (most presidents confine their television career to before they take office), but it’s also the first time a former U.S. president has been attractive so it all makes sense. Anyway, IDK what this is going to be, but I’m getting my binge-watching body ready either way.

Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 5x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain all the news of the week in a hilarious af way. Because if we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!


Images via: Giphy (1)

Everything We Know About The Obamas New Netflix Show

I have some good news and some good news. The good news is that Barack and Michelle Obama might be getting their own Netflix show. The other good news is that Trump and Melania are not getting their own Netflix show. Everybody wins, except for Trump and Melania, which means the Obamas win, which means we all win. It all comes full circle.

The couple of the millennium are apparently in “advanced negotiations” with Netflix to produce their own series. Netflix and the Obamas have a lot in common. They’re both iconic, they both have been our main sources of joy in the past decade, and not having either of them around can cause severe depression. So when you combine the Obamas and Netflix, the outcome is sure to be nothing short of pure perfection. The possibilities are endless here. It could be a reality show with zero drama because they are a legit perfect couple, and I would still gladly watch. It could be a talk show where they just talk to each other and I would be like, “yup, mhmm, sign me up.” It could literally be live footage of them staring lovingly into each other’s eyes for an hour and I would watch it every night before bed and sob.

According to The New York Times, the series will not be any of the great pitches I just listed above. The format of the episodes is still undecided, but the idea is to give the former president “a global platform after his departure from the White House.” People who are involved in the development of the series have hinted that it may be a series of inspirational stories, highlighted by Barack and Michelle. Like I said, you had me at Barack and Michelle. Whatever it is, I’m in.

More deets about the show are sure to be coming soon, so stay tuned. Cherish this good news while you can, betches. Trump is sure to catch wind of it and will probably, definitely have something offensive to say about it on Twitter. Can’t wait.

Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 5x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain all the news of the week in a hilarious af way. Because if we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!

Images: Giphy (2)

The Obamas’ Official Portraits Are Finally Here And I’m Not Crying You’re Crying

Do you need an excuse to cry about the Obama years? No? You do that already every day before you get out of bed? Well, sorry in advance for triggering you, but The Smithsonian’s Portrait Gallery released Barack and Michelle Obamas’ official portraits today. I’d say it gave me “all the feels,” but I vowed to jump of a bridge if I ever used that phrase so, suffice it to say, they are very good portraits.

The official portraits. Barack Obama by Kehinde Wiley. Michelle Obama by Amy Sherald. pic.twitter.com/xZzBYTJhKn

— Dan Zak (@MrDanZak) February 12, 2018

Ya boy Barack chose African-American artist Kehinde Wiley for his portrait, who is most famous for his works which take famous portraits of old white guys saints and kings and shit, and replace them with black men and women dressed in either hip-hop or African attire. Michelle chose Baltimore native Amy Sherald, who is best known for painting portraits with a “social justice” bent. She wasn’t *supes* famous before now, but much like getting the first impression rose on The Bachelor, we predict getting Michelle’s portrait gig probs means she’ll at least get on Paradise do very well in the art world.

Now if you’ll excuse me. I need to go sit in a dark room and try to remember a time when seeing the president’s face didn’t make me scream, “Oh my god how is that even a face!?” at anyone who will listen.

Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 5x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain all the news of the week in a hilarious af way. Because if we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!


Donald Trump Might Ruin The Royal Wedding For Everyone

By now, it should be old news to you that Prince Harry is engaged to Meghan Markle. We’ve been over it, and it’s time to move on to more pressing logistical issues, like who is getting invited to the wedding of the year. Doing the guest list for a wedding would be stressful even if you literally only knew ten people, so you can imagine that Harry and Meghan have some tough choices. Word is that there’s been some drama with the invites, and shockingly, Donald Trump is the one causing problems.

Let’s explain. Basically, Prince Harry loves the Obamas. Join the fucking club, right? But while we just cry into our pints of Halo Top about how much we love them, Harry actually hangs out with them all the time. They’ve attended each other’s charity events, and the Obamas also posted a cute message congratulating the couple on their engagement. They’re like, real friends, and this is a problem.

The issue is that Harry obvi wants to invite Barack and Michelle to the wedding, but Donald and Melania are 100% not going to make the cut. Government officials in the UK are reportedly concerned that a snub for The Donald could lead to a negative reaction, and they don’t want to like, fuck up world peace because of a wedding invitation.

The dumbest part of this whole thing is that there’s actually not a precedent for U.S. presidents getting invited to royal weddings. When Will and Kate got married in 2011, the Obamas weren’t invited, meaning they had to wake up and watch that shit on TV at 3AM just like the rest of us. So Trump would have no legitimate reason to be angry, but oh yeah right he’s insane hahaha!!

Tbh before this whole Obama business happened, Trump had already screwed himself out of an invite for basically ignoring England in his first year as President. He was supposed to have a full state visit this fall, but that got pushed to 2018 before getting downgraded to a “working trip,” where he won’t even meet the Queen. Okay, a “working trip” sounds like the equivalent of spending a six-hour layover in Madrid and later telling people you “spent time in Spain.” Like, you were physically there, but you didn’t accomplish anything besides getting a photo for your Instagram.

So it sounds like there’s no way Trump is copping an invite to the hottest event of the season, but the question is whether the Obamas will make the cut. We’re conflicted, because we want the Obamas to literally rule the world and go to whatever the fuck wedding they want, but we also don’t want Trump to be all petty and like nuke London. It’s a fun world we live in!

Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 5x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain all the news of the week in a hilarious af way. Because if we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!