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Topics: Entertainment, Music, Sabrina Carpenter
Ilana Frost
It’s officially Sabrina Carpenter Short n’ Sweet day, a day I’ve been waiting for since Sabrina Carpenter emails i can’t send Day. (Back when like 30 of us listened to her music.) I’ve proud to say I’ve been a fan of this woman since her Girl Meets World and Work It eras, and it brings me so much joy to watch as she conquers the pop universe one spicy, genre-diverse album at a time. Now that I’ve listened to the new record on repeat, I can confirm Sabrina did not disappoint with this latest 12-track masterpiece: There’s disco, R&B, country, pure pop, Ariana Grande, the genre, and no shortage of clever lyrics putting m*n in their place. She’s really doing the lord’s work, and I, for one, am grateful. Grammys 2025, here Sab comes! It’s giving Best New Artist, Album of the Year, etc. I know all the Carpenters out there are eagerly awaiting my takes on the new tunes, here’s every song on Sabrina Carpenter’s Short n’ Sweet, ranked.
1. “Slim Pickins”
It’s giving Country Sabrina, Dolly Parton, good old-fashioned honesty, advanced humor… I’m absolutely obsessed. Also, the VOCALS. “I’ll just keep on moanin’ and bitchin'” is basically my life motto, too.
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2. “Taste”
I fear this might be my most listened to song of 2024. What did she put in this? Two minutes and 37 seconds of ELITE pop and signature Sabrina magic.
3. “Sharpest Tool”
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Sabrina (Depressed Version) poetically reflecting over guitar plucking will get me every time. And I adore the dynamic build to the chorus in this song. It’s like tension… more tension… explosion of tension!
4. “Bed Chem”
She said let’s get Shakespearean but if Shakespeare was shaking his ass. I wholeheartedly approve.
5. “Juno”
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The first thing this song made me think of was that time Ariana Grande said: “The way I’ve been cravin’ / If I put it quite plainly / Just gimme them babies.” We love a movie reference. We love “fuzzy pink handcuffs.” Really lovely pop, Ms. Carpenter. I just happen to like “Bed Chem” a tiiiiny bit more.
6. “Dumb & Poetic”
I think this wins musical roast of the year. (Sorry, Shawn.) “Dumb & Poetic” gets points for specificity and singlehandedly ending wellness culture, but the melodies aren’t sticking to my brain quite as much as the aforementioned tunes.
7. “Espresso”
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It’s a certified bop, obviously. Grammy Song of the Year worthy? IDK…
8. “Please Please Please”
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Okay, I do really like this song, but I’m not a fan of the intro. The part before she starts singing literally low-key me dizzy. Also, the verses are fairly specific to her own love story, which gives the song a less relatable vibe. Still iconic though! Love the harmonies and dramatic key change.
9. “Coincidence”
I’m still deciding how I feel about the “na na na’s,” TBH. I don’t dislike this song, but it’s not quite as catchy as my first eight.
10. “Lie To Girls”
I mean, she has a point, and I appreciate the self-awareness. But I would like this song a lot more if the production was upbeat and pure pop, rather than soft, stacked vocals with some guitar.
11. “Don’t Smile”
Honestly, this is the same font of subdued, alt production that I don’t love for Sabrina’s voice or style. Let’s not bury her vocals in production! Girlie is one of the most talented vocalists of our generation.
12. “Good Graces”
I feel like the sentiment of this tune was expressed better in “Please Please Please,” so “Good Graces” is more of a skip for me. But hey, it’s still fun and catchy.