The debate over the girl code is always evolving, but some basic principles are pretty much a given. Don’t hit on your friends’ crush, don’t leave a drunk girl alone at a party, and when it comes to breakups, you take your bestie’s side without being asked. The more intertwined a friend group gets, the easier it is for friendship lines to get blurred. But at the end of the day, no matter how many double dates you’ve gone on, your girlfriend’s feelings should always outweigh those of her ex’s when it comes to you. Which is why it’s so damn confusing that Real Housewife of Beverly Hills Kyle Richards can’t grasp the concept that Dorit might be bothered by her “sending memes” to Dorit’s recently estranged hubby, Paul Kemsley.

Dorit and PK aren’t officially dunzo, but it’s pretty obvious to everyone, including Kyle, that he’s probably much closer to Boy George than his wife these days due to their separation. Yet Kyle refuses to concede that Dorit might genuinely take issue with Kyle maintaining a friendly relationship with her potentially soon-to-be ex??? And, even more interestingly, episode 7 of the fiery 14th season shows that Dorit might have even more reason to be concerned that she doesn’t even know about yet. If you’ve been stuck on the soundbite PK Texas her, then my hot take on why Kyle Richards shouldn’t text her best friend’s ex is for you.

Kyle Richards And Dorit Kemsley Feud Explained

Kyle Revealed Her Texts With PK

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On episode 5, season 14 of RHOBH, Garcelle Beauvais relayed a major bomb: “Kyle says PK texts her.” Along with several memes being born, this intel raised quite a few eyebrows in the group, even from Garcelle and Sutton who aren’t Dorit’s biggest fans. The news got back to Dorit, who wasn’t happy to learn Kyle and PK were friendly while she and Kyle were on the outs after years of friendship.

It’s worth mentioning that a big genesis of Kyle and Dorit’s beef is that Kyle claimed she and Dorit were never that close because, as Kyle doubles down in episode 7, Dorit hides her personal life from Kyle (which the editors immediately show evidence of being completely false, FWIW). The point remains, though, if Kyle and Dorit are barely speaking, let alone were never soul sisters to begin with, then why would Kyle feel comfortable exchanging “memes” and “jokes” with a man that she only has a relationship with because of Dorit? Kyle isn’t close with PK because of her husband Mauricio. She and Mauricio both know PK because of Dorit, who was introduced to them by Lisa Vanderpump (another failed friendship of Kyle’s because of a lack of loyalty) when Dorit joined the show.

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You can’t sell me that Kyle (the gym-obsessed, caftan-loving, mom of the year) is so locked in with PK (the gambling, ostentatious, party boy from the UK) that it’s now impossible to keep a cordial distance. Kyle seems to want it both ways: those couples trips to London were NBD, but at the same time she forged such a strong bond with the guy that she can’t live without DMing him “Comments By Bravo” screengrabs or whatever?!

Kyle’s main defense seems to be that Dorit never had a problem with her chatting with her husband one-on-one before, so this must be a manipulative campaign to avoid “looking like the asshole.” (Um, IDK if Kyle’s checked Twitter lately, but Dorit isn’t the one coming off as foolish.) As Dorit’s new pal Bozoma points out to Kyle on several occasions, there’s a new world order in Dorit’s life this year. She is not the same girl as the one who was happily living in a love bubble with PK (an observation Kyle herself flings left and right as an insult whenever one of her friends stands up to her), so the same rules don’t apply anymore.

Since Dorit is not cool with PK, made even worse by the fact that she’s barely cool with Kyle, Dorit would prefer the person she once considered a part of her support system to not go out of her way to support the person making her life hell right now. Is that really so hard to empathize with? I guess so because instead of apologizing for any unintended misunderstanding, Kyle morphs into the Hulk, screaming obviously meaningless apologies and that there’s “no question” she would “take Dorit’s side” because she’s “a girl’s girl.” Uhhhh, Kyle, I’m looking to Dorit’s left and right now and I don’t see you anywhere.

kyle richards dorit kemsley

Kyle has previously crowned herself the queen of honesty and truth, even at the expense of pissing off her own sisters. But when Dorit asks her to offer up a little bit of accountability she “blacks out” with rage at being questioned. Why so serious if you’ve done nothing wrong? That’s what Boz is wondering when she sprinkles in one of my favorite phrases of wisdom: “a hit dog hollers.” In fact, after their explosive drinks, Kyle not only doesn’t apologize but triples down, bringing up tabloid rumors that Dorit could be sleeping with her estranged husband, Mauricio.

Dorit wasn’t accusing Kyle of crossing any romantic lines, but rather friendship ones drawn in the sand. Kyle insisted she and PK never spoke about anything deep, especially not his relationship with Dorit. But when Kyle does begrudgingly read off her most recent text to PK at lunch, the women are too stunned to speak. “I have never repeated anything you shared with me and never would” was the juiciest part of the message. That sure doesn’t sound like jokes and memes to me… As Boz points out, Kyle has proven she not only doesn’t know the definition of friendship by most girls’ standards but also the definition of vindication, because that text seemingly confirmed Dorit’s fears. Somebody get this girl a dictionary, PRONTO.

Is it ever okay to text your best friend’s ex?

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The short answer is no, not if you want to keep that friend. There are always extenuating circumstances and things could change once heightened emotions fall, but the bottom line is when your friend cuts a dude off, you cut them off too until further notice. Or, at minimum, refrain from sending them HiLaRiOuS memes!!! There are likely plenty of other people you can use as an outlet for friendship.

In the case of Kyle, though I stand by my assessment of their relationship, PK wasn’t a tangential figure to her. I’m sure they had some IJBOLs over the years and it’s human to care about someone’s well-being, even if you’re no longer acquainted. What I’d recommend to the girls who want to send love and light to a friend’s ex without pissing off their BFF, is to send a message through your husband/boyfriend who is definitely still allowed to be friends with the ex (as long as they didn’t do something heinous, like Sandoval). That way, it’s known you have a heart while making it clear where your priorities lie.