What’s at Stake: How Reproductive Rights Could Impact Your Dating Life

Gen Z is having less sex. Aside from the impacts of being raised on technology and isolation from the pandemic, restrictions on reproductive rights across the county have made sex a bit more complicated.

As a refresher, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade (which protected the constitutional right to an abortion) in 2022. Since then, 14 states have put in place near-total abortion bans. As a result of these bans, dozens of abortion clinics closed, pregnancy was 2.3% higher in the beginning half of 2023 in these states compared to non-restricted states, and a recent study found that contraception use fell by 5.6% in these states.

However, changes in health care haven’t been the only lasting impact. Dr. Lee Phillips, a licensed psychotherapist and certified sex and couples therapist, said that among his female clients, he’s observed an increase in stress and anxiety and a decrease in sexual desire due to fear of certain reproductive rights (like contraception and abortion) being taken away.

“Disagreements over contraceptive use and potential pregnancy can lead to significant stress and strain on the relationship…I find that beyond the physical consequences, there’s [a] significant psychological impact,” he said. “The number one thing that I hear, more than anything, [is] ‘I want to be able to have control, and when I feel like I’m not in control, that’s going to lead to more anxiety.’ And when we get very anxious, that’s going to impact an intimate or a sexual relationship.”

Dr. Tammy Nelson, a licensed sex and relationship therapist, author, and podcast host, said restrictions on contraception and abortion can create a “fear of sex and fear of relationships” and could increase the mental health crisis.

“Since the pandemic, men and women around the world are experiencing a general isolation,” Nelson said. “I imagine that since Roe v. Wade was overturned the fear of sex may drive both men and women to isolate further, removing themselves from dating, putting off relationships, and becoming even more uncomfortable with sex before committed partnership.”

Anxiety caused by the fear of accidentally getting pregnant can lead to sexual dysfunctions, like erectile dysfunction, delayed ejaculation, anorgasmia (delayed or absent orgasm), and vaginismus (the vagina involuntary tightening), she added.

A 2023 Pew Research Center study about online dating found that 40% of respondents used them to date casually and 24% for casual sex. However, the 2023 Match Singles in America report also found that 87% of single respondents said Roe v. Wade being overturned has impacted their dating life. Some respondents said that because of this, they are afraid of getting pregnant, nervous during sex, and are having less casual sex.

Phillips said that these restrictions can impact the desire to have casual or spontaneous sex.

“A lot of people always assume that men have spontaneous desire, where they think about sex and they want it, but so do women,” he said. “I think that it’s being able to own your own pleasure, and when that’s threatened, then you’re going to find a decreased desire for sex or a fear to have it.”

How to communicate with your partner

“Sex, at its heart, is all about communication,” Phillips said.

In order to get the conversation started, he said that you have to be “honest about your intentions on what you want,” whether you’re on dating apps or already have a sexual or romantic partner.

“The thing that’s great about sex is that it’s so diverse…and sex is all about curiosity and creativity,” he said. “I recommend to my patients to be honest about what you want and to get creative. And if you’re talking to a guy and he’s not comfortable with that, then he’s not the right choice for you.”

Phillips added that it’s important to communicate with your partner if you’re feeling anxious about having sex, which he said you can do by naming your emotions.

“I teach [my clients] a dialog where they can share something and the person just mirrors it back, word for word,” he said. “That way they’re hearing them and they’re being present, and then they can validate by acknowledging their experience and then showing empathy.”

If both partners agree that they want to have penetrative sex in a state that has restricted reproductive rights, Phillips said that they “have to think about the consequences” and have to ask themselves questions like: “What’s going to happen if I get pregnant? What do we do? What does that look like?”

Nelson said that these conversations should happen before couples decide to have sex, and should start with discussing boundaries.

“While these conversations may feel awkward at first, getting used to expressing your boundaries and your needs is crucial for both of you to feel safe and trusting,” she said.

“Safety and trust is a necessary part of any healthy sexual experience.”