While some of us are panicking over mass deportations and the looming threat of World War III, the devil and his now-wife (Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez) are busy tying the knot in the most lavish ceremony imaginable. Truly, no one in human history has ever been more out of touch. The king and queen of capitalism have enlisted luxury event firm Lanza & Baucina Ltd. to plan their multi-day spectacle in Venice, Italy, and are reportedly spending $50,000 per guest. Mind you, there are 200 guests… My head is pounding just thinking about that obscene amount of money.

Naturally, there’s a super high-profile guest list, which includes exactly the villains you’d expect: the Kardashians, Sydney Sweeney, Orlando Bloom, Leonardo DiCaprio, and more people in that unfortunate genre. For the most expensive, star-studded event of the century, I was expecting the fits to change lives. But I must report that I’m entirely unchanged after seeing these underwhelming photos. You can judge for yourself, I suppose! Here are all the celeb guest looks from Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez’s wedding.

Celebs At Jeff Bezos & Lauren Sánchez’s Wedding: Looks, Photos

Celebs At Jeff Bezos & Lauren Sánchez’s Welcome Party

Sydney Sweeney

Sydney kept it relatively casual in a cute black romper paired with Miu Miu ballet flats, black sunglasses, and gold hoop earrings.

Kim Kardashian

Kim was kind of giving Reputation vibes (she was the inspo, after all) in this skintight snakeskin dress.

Kylie and Kendall Jenner

Kendall’s dress sort of reminds me of what I used to wear for formal events when I was 12 or 13, but I support her innocent pink floral vibe. Kylie also served summer tones in this flattering gold lace gown. I guess Timmy couldn’t make it?

Kris Jenner

Kris Jenner and her new face looked gorge in a black gown featuring puffed sleeves and a roses-adorned waist sash.

Orlando Bloom

A ~newly single~ Orlando threw up a piece sign as he headed to the event in his khakis and a basic white dress shirt. Katy Perry is obviously not attending the festivities.

Oprah

Oprah was all smiles in literal rose-colored glasses (so on-brand) and a maroon and white cutout dress.

Vittoria Ceretti

Vittoria, Leo DiCaprio’s oldest-ever GF at 27, stunned in a long neutral dress with textured fabric and one sleeve adorned with flowers.

Leonardo DiCaprio

Yup, Leo joined his GF, making an appearance at the welcome party in a basic suit and a black cap covering his face.

Bill Gates

Is he going to the wedding or is he going golfing? Unclear. This bland ass fit isn’t doing it for me.

Usher

Usher posed for pics in a casual button down in a taxi boat ahead of the event.

Stay tuned for more photos and updates!