Mary
Kate
Fotch

If you ask me, the pre-Christmas season starts the second Halloween is over.

Welcome back to the Fad Diet Diaries, a series in which I knowingly decide to try out horrible diets and then am still shocked when I have a bad time.

March 2020 will undoubtedly go down in history as a turning point for mankind.

It may be hard to believe given the fact that you’re probably just now surfacing from a food- and alcohol-induced coma, but there’s magic in the air this weekend.

Venus enters Aquarius today, which means the weekend just got a lot more exciting.

The smell of carbs in the air.

Seasons greetings!

Coming out of a week where the Amazon rainforest is being burned to the ground and the President of the United States of America is declaring himself a prophet, it’s nice to know there’s one constant in the vicious downward spiral that is daily life in 2019: the Bachelor.

How many Photoshopped pictures have you come across today?

I first heard about the tragic fate of Sharon Tate at an age probably too young to be discussing mass murder, when my grandpa sat me down and told me the story of the time he punched Charles Manson in the face.

Hey, it’s me.

This week, in honor of Meryl Streep’s 70th birthday, I was asked to pull together a “Which Meryl Streep Movie Are You Based on Your Zodiac Sign” post.

Marriage.

For upwards of four years now, I have been testing out various fad diets and writing about my experiences, typically to the detriment of my metabolism, mental stability, and overall health.

Another day, another unnecessary opinion getting posted on the internet.

Once upon a time, before they started marrying old French guys and wearing outrageously expensive, ornate rugs, the Olsen twins owned Hollywood.

There’s nothing quite like getting far too invested in a celebrity relationship, am I right?

What keeps you up at night?

It goes without saying that none of us are Beyoncé.

It’s time to face facts: Game of Thrones is gone.

We made it, friends.

The sun is shining.

I could save both you and myself a lot of time by summing this entire Game of Thrones recap up in one statement: what the actual f*ck.

I commend each and every one of you for making it back after the utter desolation that was the Battle of Winterfell.

It’s no secret that the relationships in Game of Thrones are…messy.

I don’t even know where to start.

The entirety of this week’s episode of Game of Thrones can basically be chocked up to one big, weird, existential crisis-ridden house party.

Welcome back for another installment of the Fad Diet Diaries, a series in which I slowly but surely destroy my already fragile relationship with food, one dumb celebrity regimen at a time.

It is a universally-acknowledged truth that there is nothing more attractive in this world than a man in a well-fitted suit.

Welcome back, my friends.

Welcome to April, betches.

Welcome to our new profile series, Women Who F*ck Sh*t Up, where we highlight accomplished, smart, driven women who are making waves.

Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen: a couple that needs no introduction.

It’s April, betches, which means two things: you’re bound to suffer through a full day of bad jokes at the hand of your less-than-entertaining coworkers, and it’s time to spring clean.

Dare I say it but…spring is….here?

This Sunday marks the 14th anniversary of the premiere of Grey’s Anatomy.

This week, we say goodbye to the emotional maturity of Pisces seasons, and say one big hello to the next four weeks of over-the-top-everything that is Aries season.

Happy Monday, Betches!

Don’t look now, betches, but I think...Spring is…coming?

On Valentine’s Day this year, The Knot released their 2018 Real Wedding Study, which they describe as “the most comprehensive study of Americans married in 2018.” I’ll take their word for it. It took this long for me to respond to this obviously very important report because I've spent the last two weeks coming to terms with the fact that not only will I (presumably) one day have to stand in front of all my family friends and actually admit to experiencing an emotion, but also that I’m going to have to pay probably somewhere in the ballpark of $50K to do it.

You feel that, betches?

Happy President’s Day, Betches.

February is the worst, am I right?

We made it to February!

Winter is in full swing, my friends.

If you live in a place that isn’t perpetually overcast (I don’t), chances are you got a glimpse of the eclipse on Sunday night.

HBO dropped the Game of Thrones season 8 teaser trailer this past Sunday, officially kicking off three things: 1.

Welcome to the third week of Jaunary, betches.

Welcome to award season, Betches.

Welcome to 2019, Betches.