I’ve been an Arianator since 2013, and I am so sick and tired of people spewing hateful, misogynistic bullshit at my queen. It’s relentless: According to trolls, Ariana Grande’s a homewrecker; she stole Ethan Slater from his ex-wife, Lilly Jay; she steals everyone’s boyfriends, blah blah fucking blah. Ariana is now facing another vicious wave of backlash after Lilly wrote an essay about her split from Ethan for The Cut. Thus, I decided we need a definitive timeline that shows when exactly Ariana and Ethan split from their ex-spouses and when they started dating.

Now, interpret this timeline how you will, but it really does not seem like there was any physical cheating. Did Ariana and Ethan perhaps have feelings for each other before they officially separated from their former spouses? Maybe. And what TF were they supposed to do? If you have serious feelings for someone else, you’re probably not in the right marriage anyway.

Of course, it is terrible that Ethan’s ex-wife, Lilly Jay, moved all the way to London for Ethan, had an extremely difficult pregnancy, and then had to watch the love of her life move on with a superstar. I feel awful for her. “That fucking sucks” is an understatement.

These things can all be true at once! Sigh. Anyways. Here’s my full timeline of the start of Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater’s relationship.

Did Ariana And Ethan Cheat On Their Ex-Spouses? A Timeline

May 15, 2023: Ariana Grande shares an Insta tribute to Dalton Gomez on their second anniversary

Ariana’s last Dalton social media content was a black-and-white photo of them sharing a kiss at their intimate wedding. She wrote the number “2,” celebrating their second anniversary, and added, “I love him so.” But alas, that was just a few months before they separated.

June 1, 2023: Lilly Jay wishes Ethan Slater a happy birthday on Facebook

According to alleged screenshots of Lilly’s Facebook, she shared a sweet tribute to Ethan for his 31st birthday. “Happy birthday to my incredible husband, the man who helped create our perfect bundle of joy,” she wrote, per the screenshots. “Here’s to a lifetime of love and more adventures ahead. Missing you loads! Love you, Short.” Not her roasting his 5’7″-ness.

July 17, 2023: Ariana Grande and Dalton Gomez separate

Ariana and Dalton separated in January 2023, according to TMZ. Per the outlet, they “tried a reconciliation” a few months before the July report (this might explain Ari’s anniversary post), but it didn’t work out. The former couple reportedly “were having problems” even before Ariana started filming Wicked.

July 20, 2023: TMZ reports that Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater are dating, and he is separated from his wife, Lilly Jay

The outlet reported that Ariana and Ethan “started dating several months ago during production.” This report came after Ariana and Dalton’s split but before they filed for divorce. Ethan was also still married when this news surfaced, but the TMZ sources noted that he didn’t start dating Ariana until after he separated from Lilly. An important detail!!

March 8, 2024: Ariana Grande releases “intro (end of the world)”

In the opening track of Eternal Sunshine, Ariana seemingly sings about her complicated situation with Dalton and Ethan. “How can I tell if I’m in the right relationship / Aren’t you really supposed to know that shit?” she muses in the first two lines.

The Wicked star also sings about an “interaction” that’s been on her mind for over a month: “Wonder if he’s thinking bout it too and smiling / Wonder if he knows that that’s been what’s inspiring me / Wonder if he’s judging me like I am right now.”

March 15, 2024: Bowen Yang calls the rumors “absolute falsehoods”

During an episode of his Las Culturistas podcast, Bowen (Ariana’s Wicked costar and now-good friend) went off on the trolls accusing Ariana of being a homewrecker. “There is such an unqueer, puritanical Christian way we are approaching marriage in the discourse,” he observed. “Everyone’s being very like, ‘the sanctity of marriage,’ and, of course, it is so much more complicated than that.” He’s iconic for this because LITERALLY. It is 2024! Why are Gen Z people so obsessed with accusing a woman of “stealing” someone’s husband… especially when we’ll never actually know the exact details??

The SNL comedian shut down the cheating rumors: “The narrative is wrong,” he said. “She’s not even outwardly saying that, but the narrative has been incorrect. People have even retracted things in these stories with no fucking apology to the people who are involved, and I can tell you for a fact that what people out there seem to be clinging on to as correct is incorrect.” Period.

December 19, 2024: Lilly Jay writes an essay about the drama for The Cut

Lilly Jay shocked us all when she wrote about the whole mess for The Cut. In her article titled “How Does My Divorce Make You Feel?”, Ethan’s ex-wife reflects, “I really never thought I would get divorced. Especially not just after giving birth to my first child and especially not in the shadow of my husband’s new relationship with a celebrity.” Lilly does not explicitly accuse anyone of cheating in the article. However, it’s led to a resurgence of online speculation.