You feel that, betches? Spring is right around the corner. It’s a far away corner at the end of football field-sized hallway, but it’s around the corner nonetheless. This week is the perfect time to spring clean your soul before spring cleaning everything else. Take the Marie Kondo approach to yourself, and drop anything or anyone that does not bring you joy. Not sure how? Find out in your weekly horoscopes below.
Aries
Well, Aries. Here we are. At the start of another week, with some lofty aspirations like “don’t drink” and “don’t eat carbs” and “try going to bed before midnight.” You can make whatever proclamations you like every Monday, but none of them are going to matter until you decide to actually stick with them. This is a week for resolve. For keeping promises, either to others or to yourself. Slip-ups may happen, and that’s okay, but don’t let them derail your progress.
Taurus
Ready for a reunion, Taurus? You’ll be seeing some old faces this week, both pleasant and unpleasant. Your charm should be enough to carry you through any awkward encounters, but it always helps to be your most put-together self. If there was ever a week for pulling out looks, this is it. God forbid you run into your ex’s mom at your favorite coffee shop looking like you just rolled out of bed. Put your best foot forward, preferably in the highest heel you can muster on a work day, and let nature do the rest.
Gemini
All work and no play makes you literally insane, Gemini. If you’re not careful, this is going to be the week you start to crack under the pressure. We’re talking full on, Yellow Wallpaper levels of crazy, so please do everyone a favor and take a step back from your work. Your drive is super admirable, but also unsustainable in it’s current state. It is possible to still be productive while maintaining your mental health. Drink some tea, take a walk, watch one (I said one) episode of something soothing. Your mountain of work will be there when you return.
Cancer
Are you tired, Cancer? Well you should be. Anyone who has been running around like you have this past week has absolutely no right to contain any more energy in their body. For the sake of everyone around you, it’s time to spend the next couple days as relaxed as you possibly can. You’re not thinking about chores. You’re not thinking about work. You’re not thinking about exercise. Your only thought is “how many naps can I efficiently fit into one day.” Next week you can return to that insane lifestyle that you call “productive” but until then, please calm down.
Leo
You’ve been blessed with some amazing opportunities lately Leo, which is super exciting. For real, you’ve earned it. But what you need to realize is that your success is yours alone, which means it’s best to celebrate alone. Your friends are happy for you obviously, but they don’t love the constant gloating. In this one event, we’re recommending you be a gracious winner and keep quiet about how well you’re doing. Brag like hell to your parents, siblings, boyfriend, pet, whatever, but let your less-successful friends relax, please.
Virgo
Vulnerability is a word that you’re less than comfortable with, Virgo, but tragically that doesn’t mean it’s something you get to avoid all together. This week you’re going to find yourself needing to talk to people, and for once in your life you’re going to actually want to follow through on it. Don’t fight it. As horrifying as it is to address your feelings, it’s even worse to bottle them up until you explode and start randomly crying at brunch or something. Idk, not speaking from experience here. Find someone you trust, have a glass of wine, and spill. Despite what you believe, your emotions are not a burden to everyone around you.
Libra
Feel like letting loose this weekend, Libra? Too bad, you have a mountain of things to do. There is a time for going wild and a time for getting your life together and while the former occurs way more often, this is a week for the latter. You may be annoyed in the moment, but the relief that will wash over you as you check off that last item on your list is truly unparalleled. Hunker down with some coffee and don’t resurface until you’re feeling accomplished.
Scorpio
After a long week of dealing with some real bullsh*t, you’ve earned a break, Scorpio. It’s time for a much deserved, no interruptions, no questions asked vacation from your thoughts. The only thing that matters this week is you and how content you are. Whatever it takes to get you into relaxation mode, do it. Curl up with a blanket, a book, a movie, some tea, someone – it’s up to you! All that matters is that the next few days are as stress-free as humanly possible. The real world will try and encroach on your solitude, but hold it off for as long as possible. You’ve earned this.
Sagittarius
It’s time to put yourself out there, Sagittarius. You’ve spent the last few weeks in a rut and pretending not to care, but it’s time to turn that around. This weekend you’re going to throw on some red lipstick, down a couple shots for courage, and then get your ass out to the bars. You look good, you feel good and it’s about time someone else noticed it. Rather than hiding away in a corner with you friends, try placing yourself in the middle of the action and see what kind of attention you get. Because we all know any attention is good attention, right?
Capricorn
Listen up, Capricorn, because you’re about to learn an important less: not every action deserves a reaction, Capricorn. Sure, it’s tempting to lose your mind over the annoying stuff that people do, but eventually you have to decide that your mental health is more important than letting peope know how dumb they are. This week, take some time to practice restraint in this department. Believe me, you will be tested. A deep breath and quick mantra should do the trick. Try something like “not worth my time” or “where’s the nearest bottle of wine.”
Aquarius
There’s nothing wrong with asking for help, Aquarius. I know everything about you is intrinsically opposed to that sentiment, but it doesn’t make it any less true. This week, try being less of an island and more of a peninsula–still off on your own, but at least partially attached to something larger than yourself. Despite what you’d have yourself believe, your friends do in fact care about your state of mind. They aren’t, however, mind readers. Reach out to them when you need it, and they’ll be there in a second. You’ll be shocked by how comforting it is to finally lean on someone.
Pisces
Happy birthday season, Pisces! Things are kicking off for you this week in a big way, and all you need to do is kick back and soak it in. After months of hard work, you’re finally seeing some recognition, and there’s nothing wrong with reveling in it! Carry that good feeling into your social life and put aside some time this week to spend with your friends. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the bustle of work, but that doesn’t mean you should let the people close to your drop to the wayside.
Images: Giphy (4)
