Since we were preteens, making sure our bra straps were visible and pulling strands of hair out of our ponytails — the pre-slicked-back era — we’ve been on a desperate pursuit of coolness. I wanted to be cool almost as badly as I wanted to kiss that boy from the football team, which was almost as bad as I wanted to kiss that cheerleader, iykyk. Well, in true 2020s style, we now have a one-stop scientific fix to make yourself cooler than Sandy at the end of Grease.
A recent study, published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology, surveyed 6,000 people across 12 different countries. Researchers found that the concept of “cool” was weirdly universal, no matter where participants lived, or their age, income, education, or gender. (Yes, your situationship is internationally uncool. Sorry.) They asked participants to think of specific people: one who is cool, one who is not cool, one who is good, and one who is not good. Then, everyone filled out a massive questionnaire measuring 15 different traits. Importantly, the researchers wanted to know what makes someone distinctly cool, not just a “good person.” (So basically, what makes someone your crush vs. your group project partner?)
“What blew my mind was the fact that it was pretty much the same result everywhere,” Caleb Warren, one of the authors of the study and a professor at the University of Arizona, told the New York Times. (Yes, a man in Arizona just scientifically defined coolness. We live in wild times.)
What I love about this list is that it completely subverts the old-school, emotionally unavailable image of coolness. (Don’t worry, we’ll tell you exactly what the “cool” ones were so you can start faking it immediately.) For years, I thought I wasn’t cool because I’m a little too… yappy. I enter social situations determined to be mysterious and aloof, and I leave having trauma-dumped about my seasonal depression, my ex’s ex, and my weird fear of being fundamentally evil at my core. (Sorry!) But according to science? That’s not cringe, it’s open. So actually, I’m slaying.
Okay, before we all run off to buy cat-eye sunglasses and tweet “All adventurous women do” like it’s 2014 Tumblr, let’s break down this cool people traits study and how to make it happen in your own boring life.
How To Be Cool in 2025
Six Traits To Be Cool AF
No more edging, here’s what actually makes someone cool in 2025, at least according to 6,000 people and the New York Times, which is basically the law at this point:
- Extroverted
- Hedonistic
- Adventurous
- Powerful
- Autonomous
- Open
These are some big-boy traits and, honestly, a little intimidating. But don’t worry, we’ll break them down into bite-sized action items. Here’s your cool-girl starter pack, based on the aforementioned traits. Screenshot this and become the moment:
Be Extroverted
Let’s fake it until we make it, besties. Say yes to the plan. Ask the question. Compliment the outfit. The bar for being social is so low that initiating a group dinner makes you feel like Serena van der Woodsen in 2009. Lean in. (Note: I’m hella introverted, and while I’ll never be an extrovert, I can try harder in social settings and then spend 48 hours at home charging my batteries while draining those of my vibrator.)
Be Hedonistic
Indulge in things that bring you actual joy, not performative joy. Eat the cake. Take the midday nap. Get freaky with yourself while you WFH. Do gratitude lists to discover the lil things in life. Take extravagant bubble baths with all the oils and scrubs. Post the fiery gym selfie. Make out with the hot bartender on a Tuesday. Hedonism is self-care’s sexy cousin.
Be Adventurous
“All adventurous women do” (genuinely, should I just get that tattooed at this point?? DM me if I should). This doesn’t mean you need to skydive. Try a new hobby. Go on a date with someone outside your type. Book a trip without a 42-item itinerary. Finally, change your hairstyle after a decade. Sing karaoke at the top of your lungs. Or, IDK, order something other than your usual Starbucks.
Be Powerful
Take up space. Speak with conviction. Stop replying to the situationship that never goes down on you. Don’t hang out with “friends” who make you feel bad about yourself. Post the thirst trap. Power isn’t about stepping on others; it’s about not shrinking yourself to make people comfortable. Be too much!
Be Autonomous
Stop crowd-sourcing your every move. You don’t need a group chat consensus to get bangs. Being cool means trusting your gut — even if your gut is sometimes a little feral. Cool gets mistaken for a specific uniform — *cough* long denim shorts — but it’s about being fiercely yourself. This also counts for the messages you send people you’re dating — stop running them through your friends!! Be true to yourself, even if it doesn’t work out with that person, then, at least, it didn’t work out as who you are.
Be Open
Vulnerability is hot. Honesty is cool. You don’t have to trauma-dump immediately, but showing emotion isn’t weak — it’s confident. Bonus points if you can laugh at yourself while doing it. Gone are the days when we lusted after people who showed no emotion and interest. People always ask my type, and literally, it’s “passion.” I like to get down with people who give a fuck about things. Doesn’t matter if it’s the same things I care about, as long as they’re enthusiastic about something other than bedding me lol.
In conclusion, being cool doesn’t require anything low-rise (this fat-ass could never) or swapping saliva with a Finance Bro (again, this fat-ass could never). It’s about being a fully-formed, interesting person with opinions, desires, and the audacity to chase them. And maybe, just maybe, that’s what makes you hot, too.
