You Should Try Optimism: Weekend Horoscopes August 21-23

Is it fall yet? Is it almost cold-weather time? Is it Christmas? Is this f*cking atrocity of a year over yet? It’s almost the end of moody Leo season, so, Virgo, you’re on deck for what could possibly be the greatest or worst month ever. No clear winners yet. But let’s try and be optimistic. It’s all we have—that, masks, and the ability to cancel plans. What do the stars and planets have in store for the rest of us? Let’s dive in.


GTFO of town, Leo. Literally. If you can do so responsibly (with a mask and without licking doorknobs), you should seriously consider taking a short vacay this weekend in a small, secluded area. Find a quaint cabin or just go bother your mom for the weekend. Can’t leave the area? Try to switch things up by, like, going outside or doing something you don’t normally do, like taking a walk or jogging in a different part of town.


The moon is putting the spotlight on a combo of money and knowledge, Virgo. So, use your brain this weekend and try not to spend your whole paycheck while shopping online. Like, we get that building your art collection is a big #mood during quarantine, but actually creating a budget for yourself may be a better use of your time on Saturday and Sunday.


All signs point to you having an amazing time this weekend, Libra. Literally everyone will want to talk to, flirt with, or be around you. That’s awesome, but isn’t that chill during COVID times, so maybe plan for some socially distanced fun outdoors so people can responsibly soak up your awesomeness. If you’re single, be on the lookout for some seriously on-point potential dates.


Listen to your gut, Scorpio. We all get that you’re kind of a psycho sometimes, but this weekend your intuition and usual wacky tendencies will be aligned with the universe, so tune tf in. It’s also a great weekend to achieve some personal goals, so, like, if it’s been on your radar to finish that DIY project or read a book for fun, jump in this weekend.


In keeping with this weekend’s theme, you, too, will have a chance to check out your money matters, Sagittarius. If you know anyone in the accounting field, or if your mom is really good at balancing checkbooks, it’s a good opportunity to chat about budgets on Saturday. Saving money now could help you afford awesome sh*t later, duh.


The moon is pushing you to pay attention to your dreams, Capricorn, so take the focus off your pillow and mouth guard and stock your nightstand with a dream journal so you can remember whatever weird sh*t goes through your head at night. Outside your dreams, the planets are presenting a chance for you to expand your horizons when it comes to learning, so maybe take that free SEO course so you can impress your boss come Monday.


Looking for a life change, Aquarius? That sh*t sounds intimidating, but this weekend may be a great time to explore your options. Update your resume and start peeking at jobs, yell at your bf to stop dragging his feet and commit already, and pull the trigger on replacing your sh*tty old car. Or, you could take it slow, like binge watching something other than The Office. I highly suggest Veep for the umpteenth time.


It’s a snuggle fest this weekend, Pisces. Grab your partner and watch TV all weekend, do something exciting in bed, cook together, and ignore your phones. If you’re single, it’s a great weekend to explore your Tinder/Bumble/Hinge/Ship options. The stars are aligning for you to find someone special/someone that doesn’t piss you off to no end.


How happy are you, Aries? It’s a great weekend to take a pulse on your relationship and do some #work where it’s needed. Have a sit down convo and try to be open, honest, and patient. Likewise, don’t put up with any bullsh*t. Try to identify some hobbies you can enjoy together other than drinking or watching Amazon Prime. It’ll help give you something to complain about together in a fun way.


The moon is all, “focus on work, Taurus” and you’re all, “wtf no.” But seriously, it’s a good weekend to tackle a work project that may have otherwise been lost in the shuffle of your work week. Don’t spend all your time on it, but realize that being well rested and working on your own schedule may help remove that creative block you’d been feeling. Reward yourself Sunday night with microwaved nachos and saying no to a bra.


Have some fun this weekend, Gemini. Do something you truly want to do, be it wandering around Target with a mask on, drinking at a brewery, or sitting at home with the curtains drawn and watching hours of The Crown. We get that things have been hard, what with this absolute clusterf*ck of a year and being quarantined while or Jackass-in-Chief ruins the country, so give yourself permission to just sit back, relax, and do something you enjoy.


The moon in Libra is highlighting your creative side, Cancer, so lean into it. Buy some fancy new art and hang it on your wall, take a trip to an estate or antique store, or make a macaroni and glitter painting for your mom. If you don’t know how to do something, learn. You can literally ask the internet how to do or make, like, anything, so I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Pro tip, though: You probably shouldn’t try to teach yourself anything involving electricity or fire.

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Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki aka Betchy Crocker writes about food, fashion, and whatever else she's in the mood to complain about for Betches and like, some other people. She resides in Asheville, NC, where she spends her time judging hipsters and holding on to her Jersey heritage and superiority. Yell at her on Instagram @sarahnowicholson