While my editor is taking a nap from covering the tidal wave of Kardashian Kontent that won’t seem to end, I’m taking the liberty to address the latest earth shattering news from the Klan: Kourtney Kardashian FINALLY has a REAL JOB. Kourtney has been low-key on the track towards joining the workforce, starting with her press tour advocating for makeup and household products with less toxins. Kourtney stepped it up yesterday by announcing she has a new project coming soon called “Poosh.” It’s a project that’s named after her daughter, which means P has ascended to the role as Kourtney’s favorite child. Sorry, Reign! It’s really touching to see that Kourtney and Penelope have settled their differences and come a long way since Kourtney slammed a door in Penelope’s face. Thanks, family therapy!
Kourtney posted this nearly nude photograph of herself with absolutely zero context and no allusion to what the hell Poosh is. So mark that as the first time the Kardashian family has ever left something to the imagination, like, ever. If you go to the Poosh Instagram account, you’ll notice it’s basically just a grid of the same photo above, with more images of Kourtney Kardashian superimposed in. There’s a link to “get on the list”, and not much else. Interestingly, the account has 2.2 million followers already, even with no information about it, and yet I’ve been trying to break 2,000 followers for the past few months and I actually post fire memes. It’s fine, I’m fine. But then I noticed that the @poosh account is just the old dash account, and it put everything into perspective. I was wondering what happened to that account
After a deep dive on this upcoming project—I checked out the “Poosh” trademark online and saw what it was for (and then Us Weekly wrote about it after, so it really wasn’t worth the effort)—I learned it’s a website that has blog posts about a wide range of subjects from entertainment to health to parenting. Basically, it’s just a website version of her old app that got shut down. Hopefully, this site won’t be subscription based and won’t have posts that are about things we already know encompassed into three sentences.
This family is all about bringing the drama, so I really think this lifestyle website is a step in the right direction to keep the Kardashians in the headlines. Think about it: Gwyneth Paltrow’s website gets backlash, like, all the time. From doctors with legit PhDs to representatives of culture’s she’s re-appropriated to f*cking NASA, Gwyneth has offended more people than any Sascha Baron Cohen movie or South Park episode ever could. So imagine how many mommy-shamers and fit chicks will get offended by this website. People who need to get a grip plus the Kardashians is a beautiful equation for trashy-chic gossip that you know will make me feel way better about myself than any yoga retreat or green juice cleanse ever could.
I love oil enemas! I recommend them to all of you freaks…trust me when I say life changing! #kktny
— Kourtney Kardashian (@kourtneykardash) November 28, 2011
Will this lifestyle website inevitably lead to us entertainment writers developing Xanax addictions to deal with the never-ending, overwhelming influx of more Kardashian gossip? Probably. Looking forward to your clickbait on gluten-free, dairy-free enemas and $5,000 festival wear that plagiarizes crafts made by the Navajo tribe, Kourt!
Images: kourtneykardash / Instagram; kourtneykardash / Twitter