WTF Is Going On At The 'Bachelorette' Resort?

We were already unsure of what was going on with the upcoming season of The Bachelorette, but as of today, things are officially out of control. After filming got underway last month at California’s La Quinta Resort & Club, the traditional Bachelorette process was quickly upended when Clare Crawley apparently made her final decision after less than two weeks of filming, and left the show. The two weeks since have been a whirlwind of rumors, spoilers, and conspiracy theories, with numerous sightings of Bachelor Nation veterans on the La Quinta grounds.

Initially, it was all about Tayshia. Once the Clare Crawley news broke, it was all but confirmed that Tayshia would be taking the throne as this season’s Bachelorette, and the response was extremely positive. It was reported that the beginning of the season would still document Clare’s brief search for love, and then it would be all eyes on Tayshia. But within a few days, the plot thickened even further when both Hannah Ann Sluss was photographed at the filming location, speaking with one of the producers. On top of Hannah Ann’s mysterious arrival, eagle-eyed fans found social media clues that Becca Kufrin, Sydney Lotuaco, and Ashley Iaconetti were also at the resort. No matter how hard we try, we will never truly escape Ashley I.

With the many familiar faces purported to be at the resort, theories ran wild about what could possibly be happening. One viral twitter thread—from someone claiming to be an inside source—claimed that there would be a panel of Bachelorettes, each looking for love. This theory was bolstered by numerous reports earlier this month that Becca Kufrin and Garrett Yrigoyen had broken up, after a tumultuous summer for the couple. But then, a cryptic Instagram comment from Becca on an E! News post called their relationship status into question, and we haven’t gotten any updates since. (Becca, please update us, we’re dying out here!) People also brought up the possibility of them having a mini-Bachelor In Paradise at the conclusion of The Bachelorette, which would make sense for Hannah Ann (and maaaaaybe Becca), but with Ashley I and Sydney both in relationships, it’s unclear why they would be on the invite list.

Basically, no one knows what the f*ck is happening, but today, everything we knew, or thought we knew, or thought we maybe kind of knew, is all back up in the air, because Clare Crawley is BACK. Yes, I have a headache too. On Sunday, Clare was photographed at La Quinta with Chris Harrison and executive producer Bennett Graebner. In the photos, Chris is wearing a suit, Clare looks great in a red dress, and there are production lights visible in the background, so they’re clearly filming something—BUT WHAT? Are they going to have another rose ceremony just so Clare can pick Dale one more time? Did something go wrong, and they already broke up? I’m not even going to bother to make a guess, because the possibilities are almost infinite.

This could all just boil down to something in her contract that she had to film, but considering the quarantine procedures they’re supposed to be following, it seems odd how many people are being brought in and out of this resort. Like, isn’t the point of a bubble that people aren’t really supposed to come in? I understand the whole Tayshia switch-up, but there have been more people coming and going from the Bachelorette bubble than my local urgent care clinic.

Another wrench in this whole ~quarantine~ situation is that Chris was supposedly self-isolating for 14 days after he recently left the production bubble to drop his son off at college. He Instagrammed a photo from the Texas Christian University campus on August 11th, which was not 14 days ago, in case your math skills are rusty. In the interim, it was reported that JoJo Fletcher would be temporarily taking the hosting reins, which seemed like a random choice, but at this point, there are obviously no rules. But apparently that whole story wasn’t fully true, because Chris is back on set (and mask-less) less than a week after traveling back to California. If they were only going to make Chris quarantine for ~five days, couldn’t they have just waited to film any of his scenes until he was ready? At this point, he basically only shows up for the rose ceremonies anyway, so why even drag JoJo into this whole clusterf*ck?

So will this upcoming season of The Bachelorette be the most dramatic ever? Probably, yes, but it might just be because we can’t figure out what the hell is going on. I guess it will be fun to see so many familiar faces, but also… can they chill for a second? We’re here for the drama, but we are also TIRED, ABC.

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Images: ABC/John Fleenor; betchelorpod / Twitter

Dylan Hafer
Dylan Hafer
Dylan Hafer has watched over 1000 episodes of Real Housewives because he has his priorities in order. Follow him on Instagram @dylanhafer and Twitter @thedylanhafer for all the memes you could ever want.