WTF Are eff. Y. bee Bracelets?

TBH, we weren’t really sure how to pronounce this brand when we first heard of it. I don’t understand why designers and marketing “geniuses” always do this shit. Like when Alex & Ani came onto the overpriced, but actually completely cheap jewelry scene, no one had a clue how to pronounce Ani. Whatever, I guess it’s provocative and gets the people going…as Kanye once said.

These bracelets are made by some girl who believes in “following your bliss.” We’re even more confused by what being all about doing whatever the fuck you want has to do with this jewelry, but the bracelets are kind of cute so we’ll just go with it.

This girl, Alyssa Kuchta, started the company in 2011 because she was inspired by fundraisers she helped out with in college and her part-time job at some boutique. Her mom taught her how to make jewelry that summer and then she just kind of took it from there.

There are a shit ton of college betches who probably think their lives will turn out like Alyssa’s and they’ll be making millions off bracelet making. That’s been their dream since summer camp in 7th grade. Even if the boy they liked wouldn’t kiss them during truth or dare, they still made banging bracelets.

These bracelets start at $18 and go up from there. You can buy one individually (which looks kinda dumb) or buy an entire stack of three (a much better look). Of course the company released sorority collections because sorority girls will literally put their Greek letters on anything – you can guess how many of them have the “xi” or the “phi” tattooed on their asses. 

They also sell earrings and necklaces but, just like Alex and Ani’s attempts at having people care about something besides their charm bracelets, no one gives a fuck.

You probably should just get one before everyone and their teacup Yorkie has one. Definitely get a matched stack so you don’t look like a camp counselor. Get anywhere over three though and suddenly you’re that TTH girl who wears eight Alex & Ani bracelets everywhere and you can hear her coming from a mile away. Don’t be that girl

The important message to take out of this is next time your parents question what you’re doing with your communications degree (besides blacking out Thursday- Sunday) just show them your new bracelet and say, “I’m following my bliss.” They’ll think you’re suddenly all interested in entrepreneurship and on your way to founding the next most successful startup since Google. In reality, your bliss just includes a margarita and another spring break trip to Cancun.


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