These super shitty parents in some fly over state accidentally got their 1-month old baby blackout drunk. That's why certain people should not be allowed to reproduce.
The dad filled a bottle with vodka, probs so he would have a roady for the playground. But the mom thought it was water, so she used it to mix the baby formula. Classic mixup if you have no sense of smell or like a brain. Then she gave her baby the world's worst jungle juice.
Obvi the baby was super fucked up, no, not like you at Spring Carnival. Like this poor baby is in the hospital now, and her dad was arrested for assaulting the mom. So moral of the story is if you think you might mixup your husband's pre-dinner cocktail and your baby's snack, you probably should not have a child aka don't forget to take your birth control today.