This Wine Workout Will Get You Toned And Drunk

It’s basically the summer, which means you should have gotten your summer body in gear approximately two months ago. But you didn’t because you were too busy eating spray cheese straight out of the can and crying over how cold it was outside. I don’t think I have to tell you this, but you played yourself. Luckily we’ve got you covered with a workout that combines your least favorite thing (exercise) with your favorite thing (wine!). That’s right, we made a WINE WORKOUT. There is a God and that God is us. 

To do this workout, all you need is a bottle of your fave wine. Preferably a full bottle, but I guess if you’re incredibly weak you can pour some out drink some and then screw the top back on (because I know you’re not classy/adult enough to buy wine bottles with a cork).

Help Me I'm Sore

Do each of these moves for the suggested amount of reps, then repeat the circuit three times to get the full effect. Reward yourself by drinking the entire bottle of wine by yourself after. You’re welcome!

1. 15 Planks Each Side

Wine Workout Betches

Dog optional.

2. 10 In-Between Lunge Things

Wine Workout Betches 2

This one requires a certain amount of coordination aka you not dropping the wine bottle. Perhaps best to do this on a carpet or like, a mat so you don’t end up with shards of broken glass everywhere.

3. 20 Squat Jumps

Wine Workout Squat Jumps

For more squat exercises to get your ass in gear (literally), click here!

4. 20 Toe Touches

Wine Workout Toe Touches

It should start to burn now. If it doesn’t, you’re doing something wrong.

5. 15 Of Whatever TF These Are

Wine Workout Betches

I think maybe it’s like a bicycle? With some weaving action? IDFK, I’m drunk.

Repeat 3 times and cool down with a 30 second chug.

And for all of you wondering “Wait I kind of want that Help Me I’m Sore” shirt, we’re 10 steps ahead of you. Get your very own Help Me I’m Sore shirt at Shop betches! Click here to buy.

Help Me I'm Sore Shirt

One more time for the people in back: Buy your Help Me I’m Sore shirt here! Try not to spill wine on it.