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Dear Head Pro,
I'm a betch in training, currently in high school. A guy from my school continuously retweeted and favorited my tweets, and one day DMed me. He was very complimentary and seemed respectable. He realized that we have some classes together. Online he has called me perfect and said he really wants to get to know me; saying how similar we are, blah blah blah. The problem is, he's not very confident and seems to only be able to have a conversation with me online. He just looked at me super awkwardly and didn't come up and talk to me or anything. It's fine if he doesn't like me (I wasn't looking for a relationship with him anyways) but it's weird since as soon as we get back from school he slides right back into my DM's and tries to have a conversation. I don't really want to date him, but why do you think he won't talk to me in person yet seems so eager online? If it's shyness, should I go up and initiate myself even though guys who are insecure or not confident turn me off?
Wait, high schoolers use twitter? I was positive they communicated with each other specifically through SnapChat, or some cool social media tool I don’t even know about that also facilitates sending each other pictures of their underage privates. Are you sure it’s even him who’s messaging you on twitter, and not a spambot or a serial killer assuming his identity, and that’s why he won’t talk to you? Because that would be really funny/terrifying.
The idiocy of using a medium with character limits as a conversation tool notwithstanding, I’m not sure why you feel compelled to even consider doing something. You said, in no uncertain terms, that you aren’t interested in dating him to begin with and that his social awkwardness makes it worse. You don’t want to talk to him? Then don’t. I doubt it has anything to do with him not liking you, because high school guys are awkward as fuck. Of course, if you DO maybe like him and are just trying to talk tough, then feel free to say hi to him. Couldn't hurt. Then again, what do I know? High school romance, like Bird Law, isn’t governed by reason.
You can follow me at @betchesheadpro but I prob won’t DM you (sorry),
Dear head pro,
I feel like my boyfriend has become distant lately. He used to be up my ass all the time and now I am the first one to text, first one to say I love you and we barely have sex. I am not like a crazy texter and shouldn't texting games end when you are in a serious relationship? We have been dating for a year. He used to always text me goodnight and I love you when we were apart or call. None of that happens anymore. He is great but I always feel so crazy and insecure about our relationship, especially since we are graduating and will be a few hours away with our new jobs. Bottom line is he is punching above his weight for sure but I am so hopelessly in love with him. I would be beyond devastated if we broke up but I cannot tell if it is enviable. Should I break it off? What should I do?
Crazy and insecure
Dear Crazy and insecure,
What makes your email hilarious is the hypocrisy of it. You say that texting games should end when you’re in a serious relationship, but you’re mad that they actually did. You say he used to be “up your ass” all the time (in a negative sense), and now you’re pouting that he’s not. He’s “great,” and it’s “serious,” but you’re more concerned with being in control and the object of his affection than you are actually loving someone. Normally, I’d chalk this up to the normal doldrums of a long term relationship – the courtship phase ends eventually, you know – but that’s not all, I don’t think.
Have you considered that he’s not up your ass anymore because you kind of suck, and he’s maybe tired of trying? Here’s a hot take: When you’re brazen enough to email a stranger and say your boyfriend is “punching above his weight,” it’s unlikely that you show him how “hopelessly in love” you are enough to hide the fact that you also openly despise him. He’s a person, not a dog, so chances are he’s picked up on your paradoxical disdain for him. I would definitely recommend getting out of this fucked up relationship for the benefit of all parties involved, but by the sound of things, you may not get the chance.
You’re not out of his league if you choose to date him,