Why are Girls Messaging me on Dating Sites? Online Dating and Fellating with Head Pro

So I've received my share of strange messages from bros on OKC, but I've also gotten quite a few from girls. Some of them want to be friends (vom! If you're a girl and you don't have any girl friends/only have guy “friends”, online is not the way to go), some of them hit on me and then some of send me messages like the one above. Can you explain this phenomenon to me? I get it, I'm a hot betch but seriously, I spend enough time weeding out the pros from the bros that I don't need betches clogging up my inbox too!

Head kisses,

Dicks Not Chicks

Dear Dicks not Chicks,

I’m not sure what needs “explaining.” This “chick” (it probably isn’t, you’re just more likely to get attention/responses as a girl) obviously has a little dating business they’re trying to get off the ground, and they’re using online dating sites because, well, it’s a pretty good target market. “Promise this isn’t spam” (it is, by definition) should have been the first giveaway. Whoever this is probably sends the exact same message to as many people as possible before getting flagged/blocked by the site.

I think the best part is that in explaining the site/service, “she” reveals how incredibly shitty it is. I blurred out the site name because we’re not in the business of sending people tangential traffic, but first of all, a .me address? Come on bro, at least lock down a .co domain. Also, why “zero expectations?” If I’m going to pay a matchmaker, I think I’m entitled to some expectations. If I wanted to go out with “zero expectations,” I’d go to bars with my dick hanging out of my zipper and see what happened. And if the date sucks, the company covers the cost? How do they intend to make money that way? How many people are going to abuse that feature?

Actually, I looked at the site, and not only is it legitimate, but you actually pay once a date is arranged. So not only is it a shitty idea, they lied about how shitty it is in their spam email. Imagine that, a lame matchmaking service trolling a free dating site not having any scruples…

Kisses (with expectations),

Head Pro

Dear Head Pro,

……..I am at a loss for words. Excuse the poor image, I'm not so savvy with my tablet.

Dear …,


That is all.

Extraterrestrial Kisses,

Head Pro

PS With an Apple tablet, you screenshot by pressing the home and power buttons simultaneously. With an Android tablet, you screenshot by throwing the piece of shit in a river and buying an Apple tablet.


Email the Head Pro your screenshots at headpro@betcheslovethis.com


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