UPDATE: After last week, I had hoped Britney Spears might take her Hawaiian vacation as an opportunity to reset, recharge, and take a break from Instagram. Sadly, not so. Reader, I am not feeling great about Britney right now, and her Instagram content certainly isn’t helping. On Monday, she blew up her feed with a series of questionably-lit selfies, including a bunch with her boyfriend, and three nearly identical photos of herself that look like driver’s license pictures. In one of the captions, she talked about how her dress is from the 1920s, and she “tore off the bottom ruffle of the dress and made it into a head band,” which like, cool, I guess. She says she’s “never worn something so distinguished,” which I feel like there’s no way that’s true, but good for her, she’s rocking sustainable fashion.
While all of these photos definitely made me raise an eyebrow, the more troubling development came on Tuesday night, when Britney’s son Jayden took to Instagram Live to address a lot of stuff that’s been going on. Jayden, for reference, is 13 years old, which I think is way too young to be on Instagram live, but I’m sure there are a lot of strange things about his life.
In his video, which went on for almost 20 minutes, Jayden said that his mom might not ever return to music, and that his dad “is literally Jesus.” I’m glad he likes K-Fed, and while the uncertainty surrounding Britney’s return to music makes me sad, it might be for the best. But by far the craziest things he said during the Live video were about his grandfather, Jamie Spears. In response to the question “is your grandpa a jerk?” Jayden didn’t hold back: “Yeah, he’s a pretty big dick. He’s pretty f*cking gay as sh*t. He can go die.”
Uhhh I feel like maybe someone should take this kid’s phone away? First of all, the use of “gay” as a slur is really disheartening, and I know he’s young, but it makes me nervous that no one has told him this isn’t okay. But aside from that, Jayden clearly has nothing good to say about Britney’s dad. This comes after an incident last fall, when Kevin Federline accused Jamie Spears of abusing his other son, Sean, and breaking down a door to get to him after he tried to get away. Those accusations went away without any charges being filed, but clearly it wasn’t a good situation.
From there, the video just got weirder, with Jayden using his information as a scheme to get more followers. When someone asked about the situation with his mom, Jayden said that she’s not being controlled, but that he would share more about what’s going on with her if his account gets to 5000 followers. While I don’t love this, I also won’t deny that I immediately followed him. If Jayden is willing to tell us the truth, who am I to get in the way?
ORIGINAL ARTICLE: As a life-long Britney Spears fan, it’s been an eventful journey over the last few years, to say the least. From the cancelation of her second Vegas residency to the many troubling rumors fueling the #FreeBritney campaign last year, our girl really just needs a win. So far, her 2020 has been relatively drama free, but a series of confusing Instagram posts this week have raised some questions about what, exactly, is going on with Britney right now.
After going nearly a month without posting on IG, Britney made her return on Wednesday, posting five times in like, 12 hours. Any time she starts posting on Instagram, my
spidey Britney sense starts tingling, and I have to get to the bottom of what’s going on. Five posts in one day would be a lot coming from anyone (except for my aunts—ladies, you can post less!), but these specific posts from Britney left us with a lot to talk about.
First, she posted an IGTV video reading some fan letters from The Zone, a Britney Spears pop-up that’s in LA through this weekend. (Yes, it’s an entire pop-up of spaces inspired by Britney videos, and also yes, I’m mad I didn’t get to go.) She says that unfortunately she couldn’t make it to the pop-up because she’s “been dancing” and broke her foot, and we can see that she has a big white cast with the word “STRONGER” written in green marker. I love that she has her own song title on the boot, truly a self-referential icon. I’m a little confused why the cast meant she couldn’t make it to the pop-up, but whatever, I’m not here to fact-check Britney.
The letters she reads are actually really sweet, and considering how the last couple years have been dominated by drama in her personal life, it’s nice to hear Britney reconnect with her fans. No matter what she’s been through, millions of people love her, and I hope that makes her feel ~stronger~.
Personally, I was more than happy to take Britney’s word for the fact that she broke her foot while she was dancing, but later on Wednesday, she decided we should all have the actual proof. She posted this video of her dancing for the first time in six months, and left in the part at the end where she literally snaps her ankle. Like, you can actually hear it in the video!! Britney, I love you, but this is not something the world needs to see. If you want to see Britney dancing without a care in the world, but aren’t a fan of watching people break their limbs, just pause it after the first 15 seconds. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
Note to anyone reading this: if you ever break a bone and there’s a video of it, please don’t post the video on Instagram. Literally no one needs to see that, and it’s low-key traumatic.
Britney had a very busy Wednesday, seeing as she’s also, apparently, in Hawaii on vacation right now. Is she in multiple places at once? When was the video reading the letters filmed? How long ago did she break her foot? Whatever, not the point. She also posted a pic of a church, and another cute little montage of her on the beach, but this video was what really got my attention:
Brit, you good? She tells us that she’s in Maui and hears thousands of birds, sounding like the world’s most congested Animal Planet host. Seriously, can someone get her a Sudafed, please? She shows us the birds, then yells “THEY’RE SO LOUD” in her classic terrible British accent. This video is definitely giving me weird vibes, and the caption doesn’t help: “PS if you’re a bird then I’m a bird too …. pssss I get to be loud too wheeeee”. I hope this is just her attempt at a joke, but I’m definitely confused.
From her Insta posts, it’s hard to know what’s really going on with Britney Spears right now, but it’s actually a pretty important time for her in her continued legal struggles. Earlier this month, a judge extended her conservatorship until April 30th. The conservatorship, which gives her father and a lawyer control over her assets, has now been in effect for over 12 years. There will be another court decision in the coming months about whether the arrangement will be extended past the end of April.
As always, I just want the best for Britney Spears, so I’m hoping these Instagram posts are just Britney’s wacky sense of humor, and I hope her foot heals up soon. Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go listen to “Me Against The Music” 100 times in a row.
Images: Shutterstock; britneyspears / Instagram
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