Hey all you streaming fiends,
We hope you’re having an awesome summer gobbling up all of the tasty content coming from your 18 different streaming services.
As you may have heard, writers and actors across the country are abandoning their jobs as stewards of entertainment because they’re greedy little piggies who believe they’re entitled to something they’re calling a “living wage.”
But fear not, because the streaming overlords don’t make media for the money, they make it because they care about their viewers. So strike or no strike, they’re committed to bringing fresh content to all you thirsty, insatiable content guzzlers.
Check out what’s coming to screens this fall, no talent necessary.
Jeff Bezos Family Home Videos
It’s the joy of scrolling through someone else’s vacation photos, now multiplied by infinity. Amazon Executive Chairman Jeff Bezos has graciously released 300+ hours of his 2007 VHS camcorder footage to Amazon Prime TV — so if you weren’t watching before, you certainly will be now! Highlights include footage from Jeff’s 20-year Princeton reunion where he sang “Big Yellow Taxi” in the karaoke room, an everyman’s Fourth of July barbecue on the superyacht where Jeff’s thumb is covering half the lens, and a night-vision, Skinamarink homage when the camera was left on in the great hall overnight.
Not So Handcrafted: An AI Competition Series
AI can access and synthesize the entire history of the world in seconds, analyze data to help create life-saving vaccines, and safely drive you from San Francisco to New York in record time. But one thing it can’t do? Draw hands.
We get it! Elementary schoolers have been drawing stick figures with their hands behind their backs for decades to avoid the common pitfall.
In this 10-episode competition series, AI contestants will participate in challenges to generate the least disturbing images of human hands, with the winner receiving their own pair of hands to aid their journey to experiencing the human condition and going all Ex Machina on our humble society.
Lana: Too Bot To Handle
In her debut standup special, Lana, the omniscient robot from the popular reality series Too Hot to Handle takes the stage in Houston to share side-splitting stories about her conservative Catholic school upbringing, behind the scenes secrets about her time as a professional cock block, and the juicy details of her phone sex tryst with the narrator from Love Island.
Mime Your Business
In Black Swan meets A Quiet Place meets Vanderpump Rules, this all-new reality series takes viewers to the prestigious International Mime School in Paris, France, where a group of elite miming students will stop at nothing to get to the top of the cutthroat mime industry.
Through expressive confessionals, silently vicious feuds, and out of the box antics, Mime Your Business is the quietest show we can’t stop talking about.
Ryan Murphy Presents: American Horror Story, Writer’s Room
Written, directed, and starring Ryan Murphy, the latest installment of the overplayed American Horror Story anthology series tells the story of the WGA Strike from the point of view of a mad genius showrunner whose brilliant ideas shall not be thwarted by a bunch of pasty writers who are just jealous that they didn’t option the rights to The Watcher story first.
Fireplace For Your Home 2
Coming off of the critical success of Netflix’s Fireplace For Your Home, the hotly-anticipated sequel Fireplace For Your Home 2 offers the same crinkle crackle viewers know and love, now with three stunning new locations! Enjoy a fireplace inspired by Ashley Tisdale’s Architectural Digest tour, a garbage fire in the Upside Down, and a smoky campfire in the snowy Sierra Nevada Mountains where the historic Donner Party roasted each other’s flesh.