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What To Wear To A Music Festival That's Not A Flower Crown

Music festival season is in full force, so brace your social media yourself. While I usually like to avoid 16-year-olds in crop tops, some festival lineups are hard to ignore. Besides, weren’t we all once 16-year-olds in crop tops? Also, it is hard to deny the allure of lots of day drinking. Plus, I heard Kendall Jenner goes to music festivals in army pants and flip flops, so I go to music festivals in army pants and flip flops.

 

So, if you find yourself feeling the ~desert vibes~ or ~farm vibes~ or just general ~vibes~ this year, take notes. Here are 5 trends to lookout for in 2017, and 5 trends you should burn with the memories of taking bad molly at Coachella and licking strangers’ faces. Or was that just me?

mean girls tina fey

1. Instead of a flower crown, try a felt hat.  

felt hat anthropologie

Felt hats def master the whole “I’m unapproachable but still chill af” vibe. They’re relaxed, edgy, and the bandana trim lets people know you spent just as much money on your ensemble as you did your ticket. You’re probably saying but what’s a music festival without a flower crown? A place I’d much rather be at, that’s what. How did we let a bunch of Frida Kahlo nightmares parade around with fake daisies in their hair, ruining festival fashion for everyone? Last time I checked, you’re not a Game of Thrones character or Lana Del Rey, so log off Etsy, get tf out of Forever 21, and throw out your flower crown. Also, a felt hat will keep the sun out of your heavily dilated eyes, which you’ll def be grateful for. 

2. Instead of body jewelry, try a statement necklace.

moonglow necklace

Can we all agree that jewelry is doing just fine where it’s supposed to be sitting on your body?  Call me old fashioned, but I’m fine wearing a necklace that goes around my neck, no thigh-gap chains necessary over here. This wrap necklace from Pritiworld is a perfect accessory—pair it with any simple outfit and look effortlessly festival-ready. The arrowhead accent makes a statement and the delicate beads keeps the necklace from trying too hard, bless. 

 
3. Instead of rave boots, try platform sneakers. 

platform sneaker

I sometimes wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, haunted by all the rainbow fuzzy rave boots I’ve seen in my years. Like, thanks for reminding America that your dad hates you. I don’t think the full back tattoo was doing a good enough job. And while you can LITERALLY PUT ON ANY OTHER SHOE and it’ll be better than a rave boot, why not try out a platform sneaker this festival season? A flat, closed toe shoe is always the safest bet for standing around and walking all day. It’s like when your mom told you to wear sensible footwear, but now you don’t have to ruin your fire outfit with a not so sick pair of New Balances. Platform sneakers add just a little height (you’re welcome, booty) without killing your legs. And the metallic stars subtly add that girly-grunge feel to your outfit without doing the absolute most.

4. Instead of eye jewels, try a cool pair of sunglasses.

sunglasses

93% sure I’ve read somewhere that the right pair of sunglasses is scientifically proven to a) bump you two points hotter and b) give you way more Insta likes. These thick-framed marble sunglasses look great with sundresses or tank tops and will distract from the fact that you’ve sweat off all your makeup. Consider swapping jewels for sunglasses the next time you decide to draw as much attention to your face as possible. You’re not performing drag, and you’re not Zenon Girl of the 21st Century, so frankly I just don’t know why you think gluing colorful gems, glitter, and crescent moons all over your t-zone would be chill.

5. Instead of high waisted shorts, try overalls.

High waisted shorts are like the hookup you promise yourself you won’t crawl back to. It’s easy to say you won’t text him when you’re sober, but now it’s 1am, and you and I both know you’re not asking if he’s up out of concern for his sleeping habits. With more ways now than ever to wear denim, we’re better than high waisted shorts. They’ve always been there, and they will always be there, and I’m telling you there’s more to life. Easily style this patched overall dress with a lace bandeau or crop top underneath. Now you’re showing just enough skin to low-key dress like a slut.