Welcome To Cancer Season: Weekly Horoscopes June 24-28

Welcome to Cancer season, aka the astrological glass case of emotion. Cancer is all about being in your feelings, so bust out the scented candles and your favorite movie to sob through. On the bright side, you’ll want to lean into all your favorite self care rituals, as Cancer is all about creature comforts. So yes, spending all your money on bath bombs is justified.


Tread lightly, Aries. A new romantic prospect may pop into your life this week (yay!) but you’re also in danger of catching feelings too fast (boo!). Not saying you shouldn’t get your flirt on as much as possible, just be sure to check in and remind yourself that marriage isn’t based on a single “hey beautiful ;)”.


Drinks on you, Taurus! You’re feeling generous af this week, which is great for your friends, but not as great for your checking account. Try to limit yourself to buying just one round of shots at happy hour. Rent isn’t gonna pay itself, unfortunately.


Your theme for the week is balance, Gemini. When it comes to both work and play, the limit does exist, and attempting to do either all the time will result in either a boring-ass life, or a light to mid-range jail sentence. Strike a balance and you can avoid both.


Welcome to your season, betch! How does it feel to not be the only one crying on public transportation? Around mid-week you’re going to notice that your brain is super charged like an IRL Jimmy Neutron. Find a way to honor your inner Hermione by going to a museum, watching a smart person movie, or just busting out the Sudoku.


What happens when Leo stops being polite and starts getting real? You’re about to find out. It’s hard to keep up appearances all the time, so take this week to cut the sh*t and be your authentic self. The people who love you will still be there by Friday, and the people who don’t honestly deserved to get roasted in your group chat.


It’s time for a little summertime hibernation, Virgo. You need to re-energize by carving out a decent size chunk of alone time. Do with that time whatever you want: nap, binge watch The Office (for the 1,000th time), eat a tub of ice cream, or just stare at the ceiling wondering if alternate universes are real. The time is yours.


This week is going to be all about willpower, Libra. Whether it be your 5th attempt at Whole30, not texting back that person you aren’t supposed to text back, or actually observing a no phone rule, you will be tested. Just hold firm to what you want to do and remember there are usually apps to help with this sh*t.


Omg, what is that feeling? Are you ready to drop your guard and open up to love? I’m so proud of you, Scorpio. This week, don’t ignore the urge to be a little more vulnerable with your crush/significant other/hookup/spouse of 7 years. You might find it’s not actually that bad.


Your hard work is finally paying off, Sagittarius! F*cking finally. Practice taking compliments in the mirror, because by midweek, you should be getting lots of acknowledgement from your bosses, friends, family, and maybe even some exes. Took ’em long enough.


When they go low you go what? High, Capricorn. The answer is high. People are going to try to drag you down into their own bullsh*t this week, but you need to rise above. You have enough baggage without taking on everybody else’s.


Put. The. Credit. Card. Down. I don’t care how good the sale is, you need to resist the urge to splurge. Seriously. You’ll thank yourself later when you have the extra money for something you actually need.


It’s time to face the hard truth: you can’t be everyone’s friend. In fact, you don’t want to be everyone’s friend! Some people suck! Take some time to focus on the people you actually like this week, and stop focusing so much on people you don’t actually GAF about anyway.

Images: Ryan Moreno / Unsplash; Giphy (12)

Alise Morales
Alise Morales
Alise Morales is a comedy writer and performer. She is the writer of the Betches Sup Newsletter and co-host of the Betches Sup Podcast.