Mercury is sliding into Cancer’s DMs this week, meaning you’re going to be focusing on basic bitch everyday activities. For most betches, conversations will be energized and that “official start of summer” glow will set in, even if your secret is gradual self-tanner and a constant state of day drunk. Whatever. This is what The Universe wants, so embrace it.
Aries
You’ve got a growing concern for one of your besties or close family members. Like, are they a total alcoholic or just living their best life? Is she in an emotionally abusive relationship or do you just not like her boyfriend? I mean, these are probably good questions to ask yourself before you round up your sorority sisters and stage an intervention. If a good old come-to-Jesus discussion is absolutely necessary, this is a good week to do it because your conversational skills are on point and your genuine concern is less likely to be misinterpreted.
Taurus
You’re kind of all over the place as far as your summer schedule goes. Like, one weekend you might be stuck in town with a bunch of plans and the next you’re out of town with a bunch of plans. Needless to say, you’re pretty busy. This is not the best time for you to put yourself out there again and start looking for a new relationship. Your inability to meet up due to all the plans you already have will be a total turn-off. Likewise, your face shouldn’t be in some apps; you should be looking around taking in what’s going on around you. Plus, if you meet a dude out and about in your adventures, it’ll be a lot better story to tell your kids then trying to explain you met on Tinder, right?
Gemini
Strap on your fucking helmet, the next week is going to be a ride. Because Mercury is your ruler and it influences so many aspects of your life, you’re just going to have, like, a lot of feelings this week. Mercury is influencing a few planets so just be ready for big impacts in your finances, personal relationships, and career. OK, so like, yeah, basically everything that matters will be in your face this week. The best advice on how to deal? Just take everything as it comes and keep a bottle of wine on hand at all times. Maybe even consider getting those tiny ones to stock your fridge at work. Just sayin.
Cancer
Whoa. Calm down, Cancer betch. Your excitement about something this week is palpable. Your enthusiasm will have a pretty powerful impact on others. Like, you’ll be able to get people to agree or go along with you just because they can see how jacked you are about something new in your life. If someone is really fighting you on something you’re really interested in this week, you might want to make a mental note of it. There’s probably some bigger opposition brewing inside that person and they might not be someone you want to be around much longer. Just sayin.
Leo
You’re continuing your business of being generally a little more low-key than usual. Since you’re taking a break from being the total star of the show (like, you’re still the star but maybe just letting an understudy get a show under their belt kind of thing), focus on your mental health. You know, #selfcare. Do something that strengthens your mental prowess this week and makes you feel more connected. If you’re a nature betch and yoga clears your mind, do some outdoor yoga or some shit. If you’re religious at all, focus on what’s important to you about your belief system. That kind of thing. Mental clarity now will make you that much more on your game when the Sun enters your sign in the next few months.
Virgo
You can blame it on the sunshine or the heat or whatever, but you’ve got an optimistic streak going at the beginning of the week. Even the sweltering heat and disgusting humidity can’t bring you down. By the middle of the week, your confidence grows even more and you enter a period of time where it’s great to share your knowledge with others or pitch a new idea at work. This extreme bout of confidence might have some plebs around you wanting to use the B word. You know, “bossy.” They can get over it.
Libra
Everyone has been playing nice with you, generally. But use some caution this week, as someone you counted on to be in your corner is going to challenge you about something you thought was a no-brainer. Before you pull a Leslie Knope and steamroll your friends with the great plans you made for everyone, make sure there’s not a Judas in the group tryna poison the well. I mean, all your intentions are good and you don’t want all that great planning to go to waste on someone ungrateful for your time and talents. Really.
Scorpio
You’re so restless this week. Even if you have cool vacations and weekend trips planned, it doesn’t seem to be enough to fight off the urge that you need to make a bigger change in your life. First of all, don’t get bangs. That’s always a terrible idea. Likewise, stay away from all drastic haircuts. I mean, do you really want to be sweating through summer with hair too short to put in a pony? I think not. If a bigger change is really what you’re seeking, plan it all out and picture yourself after a big move, a new job, or breaking it off with your bf. If your life is better in your imaginary future, you know what you have to do. If it’s all basically the same, just chill for a bit and let the mood pass.
Sagittarius
If you’ve been putting off an awkward discussion with someone, the first of the week is the best time for you to just get that shit out of the way. Maybe you’ve gotta move out and don’t want to offend your roommate. Maybe it’s time to tell your BBB that you’ve totally moved on. Whatever it is, take care of it STAT so it won’t be on your mind all week long. Likewise, you’re more likely to be taken seriously and there will be more understanding this week than if you put that convo off for longer.
Capricorn
Fucking everyone you know will want to chat this week, so don’t freak out when your phone battery is always painfully low from all the notifications you’ve been getting. Also, don’t feel like everyone has an ulterior motive when they just drop into your inbox to say “Hi!”. Even if it’s someone you haven’t spoken to in a while. Just remember the other signs have a lot on their minds and they’re turning to you to vent. If you feel your patience wearing thin with others by the end of the week, that’s totally to be expected. Patience is a stupid virtue, but it’s one you’ll need to make it to next Sunday without losing friends.
Aquarius
Your big focus is on your career path and also on your own personal health this week. Um, yeah, maybe the heat has you thinking more and more about the condition of your body, but whatever. As long as you don’t ask anyone to buy weird protein shakes from you or annoy all your coworkers with facts about your “cleanse”, then you can diet and work out to your heart’s content. It’s a good time to start a new project at work or at the gym this week, because you have more energy and will be in a generally good mood. That’s great news for your friends who don’t want to deal with a carb-deprived monster.
Pisces
Your flirt game is entering overdrive this week. You’ve kind of been on a playful uptick in life lately. As Drake would say, wearing less and going out more. That kind of thing. Because you’re so optimistic, you’re at risk to easily get swept off your feet. Not that that’s always a bad thing, but just make sure your fuckboy radar is working overtime so no dude can kill the good vibes you’ve been working toward. Do what you can to keep the tone light with friends and romantic partners as an argument right now could easily escalate. You know, it’s hot, people are generally testy and fiery tempers in others are at risk to erupt.
