Aries
It’s kind of surprising, but you’re going to have like way more enthusiasm towards life this week. You might be jacked on the idea of a new romantic prospect or just really looking forward to spring or some shit. It’s OK to care about stuff this week. Getting your hopes up just a bit is going to serve you well. You’re not in a place to have all your hopes and dreams get crushed, unless you picked really poorly in your Bachelor draft—then you might be SOL by Monday night.
Taurus
You’re not a popcorn hoe, but you do have some ideas popping up this week in that cute little head of yours. Don’t be afraid to start talking about your new innovations; someone higher up than you is going to like what they hear and present you with a great opportunity to put those ideas into plans and actions. Keep your head on a swivel on Wednesday, though. A Taylor Swift-level snake is trying to sabotage you somehow. Worst of all, you thought this betch was a solid part of your squad. Damn
Gemini
The first part of the week is actually looking pretty peachy for you, but be cautious midweek as someone you’re definitely pretty close to is trying to steal some of your good vibes. There’s a power struggle in store with someone you consider to be an equal, but obvi they see you as kind of a threat. I mean, can you blame them? No. Maybe a sorority sister or coworker is trying to grab some authority over you. Just charm you way out of it because it’s really not worth engaging. Don’t try to put them in your place; your chill demeanor will inspire someone else to come to your defense.
Cancer
You definitely consider yourself pretty woke, but this week it’s time to step out of your comfort zone. We know your socials aren’t really a sounding board, they’re more of an echo chamber because you’ve already unfollowed everyone you don’t agree with. Take a sec this week to talk to someone or read something (that isn’t #fakenews) that presents a different perspective. Someone really important is going to be impressed by your educated and reasonable opinion the next time a controversial subject is brought up.
Leo
The Leo betch has been having a case of the struggles this year, but this is the month you really start to crawl out of that patter and reclaim your status as Queen. It’s generally not your style, but it’s okay to stay low-key this week and not let that inner lion roar. Everyone else is kind of preoccupied will all the political controversy. You’ll be rewarded for not joining in on the conversation. Have an opinion for sure, just don’t voice it while everyone else is super eager to bite your head off no matter what you say.
Virgo
You’re still in that shitty period of time where you need more sleep. Sure, you probably feel like a lame ass at home catching up on your zzz’s while everyone else is out acting like they’re having a good time. Actually, staying home is serving you well because you’re ducking out of some friend group drama that you don’t really need in your life right now. Once this sleepy period is over, you’ll be back in the game and fired up for spring—even more so than the rest of your friends.
Libra
You’ve been watching so much HGTV lately and the organizational bug has bitten you hard. You feel like you really need to get organized and get your shit together over the next four weeks. Cleaning up some of your clutter is going to clear up your mind. Like, don’t throw out important shit just because it doesn’t “spark joy” (You still need your tax papers and shit, sorry), but take a second to donate clothes you don’t wear, then reward yourself with new ones. Also, all that clarity is going to bring good vibes your way and ignite a new romance.
Scorpio
OK, Scorpio bestches win horoscope of the week. Lucky bastards. The next four weeks bring popularity, joy, success, and romance. Not only are you going to be living your best life, you’ll be more inspired to put others in a good mood too. People are going to love you so much more. Take it upon yourself to be the group activity organizer this week. Your friends could use a girls night or just a chance to whine with some wine.
Sagittarius
You’re feeling kind of secretive and sneaky this week. Not that you’re trying to be sketch and hide stuff from your friends on purpose, you just want to reveal things on a need to know basis. You feel like blurting out your good news is going to ruin it somehow. As long as you aren’t like sleeping with a married dude or banging your friend’s bf, keeping your lips sealed is not going to cause any problems. It might be the best plan of action because some of the other signs are having a rough go of it and won’t be able to focus on you this week in a way you deserve anyway.
Capricorn
Your fast-paced month continues this week, which isn’t all bad. I mean, you might feel like an over-caffeinated Gilmore Girl on the inside, but others still find you charming. So, less annoying than a Gilmore Girl, for sure. The rough patch this week will come on Wednesday when you’ll experience a mechanical failure of some sort. Your printer could jam before a paper is due, you car might stall on your way to work. Just try to plan ahead as well as possible to avoid the problems. If all else fails, call your dad to fix your life for you. Problem solved.
Aquarius
You’re kind of in a panic lately because you feel like you could be making the wrong choices to live your best life. I mean, no one wants to wake up at 90 and realize you wasted a bunch of time on shit you didn’t care about. First of all, drink some wine and just chill. You’re going through a phase. Give your current situation some time to breathe this week before you make any rash decisions. If you feel this same way in April, then start working on a plan to make some more drastic changes.
Pisces
Get pumped, the Sun continues to be in your sign for the next four weeks. It’s pretty much smooth sailing for you in the week ahead. You might have some blasts from the past blowing up your phone in the next week, though. Even though the attention is nice, don’t be afraid to hit them with a “boy bye” if they’re being just too weird and clingy. No shame in flirting and sending a few cute snaps if you don’t mind the added interactions in your daily schedule. Stay away from dudes that have girlfriends, though. If they do it with you, they’ll do it to you and you’re much better than that. #redflags
