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Here Are Your Weekly Horoscopes For October 2nd-8th

By The Wicked Betch of the West | October 2, 2017
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Just in time for all things spooky-scary and Halloween related, that pesky full moon returns on Thursday. Full moons are known to make betches act like total c-words—as in, you know, crazy pants-es. But the good news is Mercury is not in retrograde, so if you can make it to the weekend, you’ll be smooth sailing. Wait, isn’t that the forecast for like, every week?

Aries

You’re that perfectly toxic combination of super driven but also somehow wholly unmotivated this week. Like, you have big dreams and plans you know you’ll accomplish, you’d just rather take a nap before you get started on that next big thing. The Sun is super far away from your sign in your chart so that makes total sense; you need more sleep when the Sun isn’t close to you and providing you with energy. It’s like winter for your soul. Duh, that’s just basic physics or astronomy or something.

I Need A Nap

Taurus

Your inner sorority Philanthropy Chair is reemerging this week as Venus and Mars work together to energize the small part of you that likes giving back. If charity isn’t your thing, you’ll probably more driven to be more giving to those who are super important to you, like your boyfriend or bestie. Needless to say, your man won’t have any complaints in the bedroom when you decide to put in more effort than usual. Let’s just say, you’re taking it to the top in just about every aspect of your life this week.

Gemini

The full moon might be making things tense at home or around family members. Like, this is not the week to be plastering passive-aggressive Post-its around the apartment reminding your roommates to not turn up the heat and to do their dishes. Tensions run especially high around Thursday, so try to tune out whatever is annoying you until next week. I’d say until this weekend, but, like, also don’t kill anyone else’s vibe, ya know? It really can wait until next Monday.

Dishes

Cancer

The full moon on Thursday actually hits you pretty hard. You’ll start feeling some tension building by Tuesday. Your weird low-level hum of anxiety might turn into full-blown panic midweek, so just be aware before you start subtweeting everyone who has ever wronged you. After Thursday, things will slowly start leveling out so get ready for your apology tour of 2017 since you lashed out at everyone and cried at work earlier in the week.

Leo

Normally it’s Mercury in retrograde that makes you accident-prone, but sometimes the full moon can have the same effect. Keep that Tide pen on stand-by, as you might have some coffee spills and ink stains to take care of around Thursday. You continue to be pretty busy and your thoughts moving a million miles a minute can leave you feeling scatterbrained. Make time for some deep breaths and essential oil voodoo shit, if that relaxes you. If not, that’s why wine exists, right?

Clumsy

Virgo

The sweet, sweet combo of Venus and Mars in your sign at the same time means you’re strong, focused, and charming. Basically all the powers in the universe are working in your favor so you better not fuck it up. Between Tuesday and Thursday is not the time to mess with money or where you make it. Don’t stir things up at work or with mom and dad. Keep your head down and stay under the radar until the weekend, then you can ask for whatever favor you need.

Libra

Yas, Libra Kween! The Sun is still in your sign and now Mercury is sliding into those DMs. What’s that supposed to mean? Well, the Sun gives you a shit-ton of energy and makes you appealing to others, while Mercury works off that energy and makes your communication skills shine. I’d say it’s all smooth sailing, but you never know what Thursday’s full moon will throw your way. Most likely, it’s just that other signs are more apt to be jealous of you. Sorry not sorry.

Gretchen Wieners

Scorpio

Weirdly enough, the effects from Thursday’s full moon are not the biggest astrological happenings you have to contend with this week. The full moon might cause a few little hiccups in your plans, but you’re really gearing up toward something huge. Mars makes you competitive, but Venus makes you likable even when you’re kicking someone else’s ass. If the full moon causes you any problems, it’ll most likely be some tension with coworkers. But you really couldn’t give less of a shit what Linda at the front desk thinks of you.

Sagittarius

Female friendships can be fickle around the full moon. Yeah, like, I get that we’re not werewolves, but that shit can really have an affect on us! You might feel some tension between friends starting on Tuesday as we make our way toward Thursday’s full moon. Things might seem kind of dim between you and someone you thought you were close to, but after Thursday, your problems will magically vanish. Instead of focusing on the weird vibes you think you’re feeling, throw yourself into a project—Mars elevates your ambition while Venus makes shit happen with bosses, professors or other people with some authority.

Dorinda RHONY

Capricorn

Ah, the logical Capricorn will struggle with feelings this week that don’t seem to be coming from a logical place. Forces pull your thoughts between what you should be doing and what you want to be doing. While you’re usually content to sort of fall in line, a rebellious side is sparked by Thursday’s full moon. Why not like, give in to that little whim for once? Now’s as good a time as ever to play hooky from life, so to speak, and go on that little adventure. Your real life will be waiting for you when you get back.

Aquarius

You usually don’t need any help managing what you say and how you say it, but with the full moon already starting to stir up trouble by Tuesday, proceed with caution if you need to DTR or have some other sort of important convo. Other signs are more likely to take what you say out of context or misinterpret your intent. I mean, that’s really not your fault, but whatever. Venus helps you out a little bit, making you more empathetic and charming. Still, when in doubt, say nothing at all.

Zip It

Pisces

The full moon is probably going to start some disputes in your life. Classic. The good news, though, is that whatever you’re arguing over this week will most likely be decided in your favor. You are an empathetic water sign, but that doesn’t mean you don’t take pride in your ability to always be right. Mars opposite your sign means you’ll be most irritated by those closest to you, but Venus might calm you down a bit. Like, you’re not really a monster, you just need to be cuddled and fed to tame whatever inner beast is awakened by the full moon.