Look At Your Life, Look At Your Choices: Weekend Horoscopes July 17-19

Summer-summer-summertiiiiimeeee—where we can sit back aaaand go nowhere. On the bright side, no one told us to get our bikini bods ready this year, which means we can all ignore exercising and just continue on the self-care-during-quarantine track. Sure, it’s a little warm to hang out in sweatpants, but staying inside means you’re being a responsible citizen, so just consider it all part of your civic duty.

Of course, the planets are here to make us feel irritable feelings and get overly analytical about finances this weekend. Lame.


Pay attention to your dreams, Cancer. They’ll be bringing up a lot of feelings Saturday and Sunday, like how you feel about yourself, how you feel about those close to you, and how you feel about budgeting your GrubHub and Postmates usage. Take time to get to know yourself a lil better, and you’ll enter next week feeling more confident.


Avoid drinking this weekend, Leo, since the planets are liable to f*ck your sh*t up and make you say (and do) things you may regret. On a positive note, it’s a great opportunity to connect with your besties, so plan a group FaceTime or one on one outdoor patio brunch for Saturday or Sunday.


The moon in Gemini is forcing you to take a long, hard look at your professional life, Virgo. Do you really love what you’re doing? Would you be happier doing arts and crafts, or running a blog about local restaurants, or finding a sugar daddy? You do you. The planets are also highlighting your most meaningful questions, so ask your friends what makes them happy in their careers.


Do something moderately interesting this weekend, Libra. The planets are joining with Gemini and highlighting adventure, so take a long car ride to a cool outdoor spot where you can drink a bottle of wine with your S.O. and have sex on a picnic blanket. If that’s a lil too out there, maybe just take a walk in a different neighborhood.


The planets want you to try new things, and tap into your romantic side this weekend, Scorpio. Guess that means it’s finally time to either scare your partner with how nice you can be OR scare your mailman with the amount of sex toys you’re about to order off Amazon. Maybe a little from each category? Whatever, just get your intimacy on this weekend.


Time for a date night, Sagittarius. We know that the COVID times make it difficult to pull off a wine/dine adventure, but think outside the box a little. Use Friday night for ordering takeout from your S.O.’s fav restaurant, complete with wine (or whatever booze makes you sassy). Saturday is for long walks in the sunshine, not arguing, and cooking something that takes three hours. On Sunday, you can resume your regular relationship, sweatpants, and ignoring each other while you scroll Insta.


Self-care ftw, Capricorn. Take a look at some of your quarantine routines on Friday night and make a plan for how to improve them come Saturday and Sunday. Like, maybe it’s time to start eating a balanced breakfast like an adult. Maybe you should go for walks instead of lying in bed all day. And maybe meal planning isn’t such a bad idea after all. After all that soul-searching, feel free to sit in a bathtub and drink wine while mindlessly scrolling Pinterest. Self-care is about give and take, obviously.


The moon is highlighting creativity and fun this weekend, Aquarius, so it’s time to cut out pictures from magazines and make mood boards for nothing in f*cking particular! Sh*t, take on a DIY project you know you won’t finish, too! Do something fun, like organizing your closet by color, or emptying your spice cabinet. Thanks, planets!


Focus on home this weekend, Pisces. It could be a great opportunity to spruce up around your house on Saturday, or even just be one with your space. To us, being one means molding into our couches while we binge-watch something new on Netflix, but that’s personal preference.


Learn something new this weekend, Aries. Maybe you can learn how to properly manage your time, or maybe you can learn how to fold a fitted sheet. It’s all about priorities. You’ll be feeling extra nice come Saturday, so maybe do something not-mean for a friend or family member.


Pay attention to your finances this weekend, Taurus. You may actually find a new avenue for making money, so maybe, like, don’t ignore that creepy message on Insta asking for feet pics…? Saturday and Sunday are all about learning and communication, so look into online classes or even learning a skill via YouTube videos. Is it time to finally master Photoshop? Can you figure out how to invest in Bitcoin?


The moon and Venus are highlighting self-esteem and material goods, so maybe it’s a good weekend for online shopping! Obviously make sure your finances are in order first, but if things look good, it’s definitely not a terrible idea to refresh your loungewear collection or treat yourself to something fun.

Images: Giphy (12)

Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki aka Betchy Crocker writes about food, fashion, and whatever else she's in the mood to complain about for Betches and like, some other people. She resides in Asheville, NC, where she spends her time judging hipsters and holding on to her Jersey heritage and superiority. Yell at her on Instagram @sarahnowicholson