We have started wading deeper into Pisces season. This weekend, you’ll probably attend or blow off a birthday dinner because all of your friends have birthdays in the next three months. WTF is up with that? At least it’s still winter so if you need a good excuse to not show up with a present in hand to a sushi restaurant you can always blame the weather. Read on for more life changes you can expect from your weekend horoscope.
Aries
If you don’t like the mood you’re in this weekend, wait two hours and it will change. The Moon in Gemini can have your moods swinging like crazy. You might wake up Saturday hating the world and by Sunday be back to just loving life. Apologize to your boyfriend in advance for the things you said while hungover/under the influence of a Moon in fickle-ass Gemini. Practice this sentence: “No I’m not on my period—it’s my weekend horoscope, asshole.”
Taurus
A little bit of animosity toward a friend has been bubbling up inside you all week. You don’t really know why, but every single thing they do has been annoying the fuck out of you lately. This weekend, you’ll get a little clarity about what’s been so upsetting to you. Maybe you thought your guy friend was being a dick for not hanging out with you, but now you realize you’re actually secretly in love with him. Life’s weird, man.
Gemini
You’re in a phase where you’re getting a lot of attention. This phase continues for the next three weeks, so if your SO doesn’t like the fact that everyone else finds you hot AF right now, it could cause some problems. Either leave them at home when you go out with your friends or dump the jealous loser. Hey, getting free drinks is good for the economy and your self-esteem.
Cancer
The Moon in Gemini Friday will literally make you crazy. That makes sense because, like, have you ever met a Gemini who was completely sane? Don’t feel like you’re being anti-social if you retreat home early from the weekend’s shenanigans. I mean, there really is only so much of other’s people shit you can take before you go full Real Housewife and start throwing tables and Pinot Gris.
Leo
Maybe you’ve been taking what you hear on U Up? to heart, or maybe it’s the stars, but this weekend is all about love and romance for you. If you’re single AF, be out on the prowl at an activity that gives you a chance to break away from your inner circle. Just don’t freak out when you’re attracted to someone who isn’t your usual “type”. Maybe there are traits more important to you than a six pack. Then again, maybe not.
Virgo
Things could get tense this weekend when you and someone you’re super close to don’t see eye-to-eye on an issue. You could take the petty route and ice that person out of your group chat, or you could do the more fun thing and change the subject to something you both can agree on—like who’s the hottest guy at the Olympics. (It’s Gus Kenworthy, btw)
Libra
It kind of sucks that no one can tell how great your personality is from across the room, so spend part of the weekend maintaining your appearance. Like, you can’t complain about how long it has been since you got laid if you haven’t shaved your legs in four months. That’s kind of on you. Take one day this weekend to spa it up with a face mask, moisturizer and, hey, rediscovering your tweezers wouldn’t hurt either. Look, don’t shoot the messenger—this is just your weekend horoscope telling you what your friends and late-night booty call won’t.
Scorpio
You’ve been in a holding pattern when it comes to your finances. You’ve been trying not to spend your own money to save up for that big thing on the horizon. This weekend, though, fun comes at a price. If you, like, don’t have a sugar daddy to pay for all your shit, don’t feel like you have to say yes to every invite you receive. Pick and choose what events to splurge on and what to save on.
Sagittarius
Hopefully those who have to spend a lot of time with you this weekend don’t mind when you’re, like, super needy. Trick people into hanging out with you by organizing something small at your place. First of all, you won’t freeze your ass off by having to go out to be social. Secondly, everyone will think you’re being super selfless when you actually just wanted attention from your friends.
Capricon
Normally, you like to keep the bedroom talk in the bedroom. That’s totally fine if you’re not as open about your sex life as some of your sluttier friends. Oops, did I say that? You were thinking it. Anyway, if you feel like your needs aren’t being met, you might actually have to speak the fuck up. You don’t have to blast your sexual preferences all over social media, but your partner should at least be somewhat privy to those thoughts.
Aquarius
If you feel the urge to take up interpretive dance this weekend, put down and slowly back away from the essential oils. On Friday, the Moon is in Gemini aka your house of creative self-expression. That will have you looking for unconventional ways of getting your feelings out. Maybe just take a class from a different instructor at SoulCycle if you need a change, don’t like, shave your head and cover your body in henna. Or do. IDK it’s up to you.
Pisces
All month long you’re the center of attention with the Sun in your sign. As a Pisces, it’s easy to shy away from the admiration of others due to insecurity or some other bogus shit. Hey, it’s okay to be happy, loved and excited about things, especially during your birthday month. After this month you can go back to being cynical like everybody else.
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